Ari and Zac

Chapter 35: Into the Ocean Waves

Trigger Warning: This chapter depicts suicidal thoughts and may be triggering for some readers.

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Chapter 35: Into the Ocean Waves

The ocean roared and foamed with a savage fury. Ari stood before it, her hair swirling in the wind. She lowered her head and closed her eyes against the lashing strands. Her hair had lost its reddish hue out here in the darkness. Anyone observing her would have taken the color for black—the natural color she was born with, before her parents had finally caved in and allowed her to dye it crimson red.

Who did that? Ari couldn't help but cringe at her own childishness. Who dyed their hair to match a cartoon character? As if some bottle of false pigment could change her into someone else—into someone brave and beautiful...and loved. Honestly, how pathetic could she be?

A peal of thunder jolted her out of her thoughts. Ari cracked her eyes open as a ribbon of lightening sliced across the sky. She wasn't quite sure how she came to be standing on this empty beach in the middle of a storm. But she couldn't say she was surprised to find herself here. This stretch of sand had always drawn her back with an irresistible pull—a siren song that only she could hear.

Ari wondered vaguely how long she had been standing here, staring out into the water. She had no memory of her frantic flight from Zac's house, through the empty streets and down the length of the rain-swept boardwalk. She stood now just south of Pier 18, in the exact spot where the ocean coughed her up and spat her out as a young child, on that other moonless night long ago. This was the beach where her life on land had begun, as far as she could remember. This beach had given birth to her, and it was the only birth mother she had. Maybe that was why she always returned here in search of peace and comfort, seeking the water's embrace.

It was fitting, Ari thought, that she had come back here in the end.

A tall wave crested before her, but she barely registered the sight of it, or the sound of the thunderous collision as the water met the sand. Her mind had gone back to the scene inside Zac's house before. A cramp twisted her stomach as she recalled the moment when that cold wave of panic had crashed over her—the moment when the realization struck.

The video...

The video of her...

The video of her, singing...

The video of her, singing at full blast, with a view count in the millions...

The video that only one person could have recorded. Only one person could have been in that spot this morning, eavesdropping outside her bathroom door. Only one person could have stolen her voice, stripped it away from her, and broadcast it for the entire world to hear.

So much for her fairytale prince.

He must have known that it was the single worst thing he could do to her. Her deepest fear, her darkest anxiety, the unspeakable dread that she'd kept bottled up inside herself for as long as she could remember...

He must have known that, right?

And he'd gone and done it anyway. He didn't care. He'd put her voice in the ears of every human listener on the planet. All at once. With no warning. No escape. No way to take it back.

Ari's mouth fell open, and she let out a harsh sound, halfway between a sob and a scream. It was an ugly sound, not unlike the piercing howl of the wind as it whipped the sea into a foaming rage.

How could she have misjudged him so badly? How? Just this morning, she'd been telling her sister all that infantile crap about "love." The kiss of true love... What a complete and utter joke. She hadn't seen him for what he really was. Not until tonight, after it was all too late. She'd been standing in the middle of Zac's living room, surrounded by the sound of her own voice pouring forth from a sea of cellphones, when she finally saw the truth.