Imperfectly Flawless

Ballerinas

"Theo, come on. We have to do this right!" Stella whined after enduring an hour of ballet practice with us boys.

After two tiring week s of tests we were given a school project for the upcoming show, the grade had been divided into two groups in which the boys had to be choreographed. However, said choreography had to be classical ballet. The other group had Yunmi, the ballerina of the grade, as a choreographer and their dance was pretty cool. Their choreography was simple yet incredibly funny. For us, it was a little harder. Most of us wanted to just hang around rather than practice and it was driving Stella insane since we would later complain that her choreography wasn't as good as Yunmi's.

"On the count of three we start," she said before counting and playing Fur Elise by Beethoven.

We were presenting in one day and we had only finished the song the day before. We still had to coordinate every movement and Stella wouldn't let us rest until we had it well enough to her standard, which meant perfect. After thirty more minutes of serious dancing and perfecting she couldn't stop smiling.

"I'm so proud of you boys," Stella said like a proud mom whose son just learned to walk.

After practice I went outside to catch some air and Britney was all by herself so I went to keep her company.

"How're you champ?" I asked, still out of breath from practice.

"I'm very well and yourself?" She asked.

I nodded and lay my head back on the bench closing my eyes. I felt Britney's hand soothing my muscles and relaxed to her touch. I felt a pair of eyes on me so I opened my own but saw no one. I turned my head slightly and could see Stella's retreating figure. I stood up from my seat, smiled at Britney and excused myself. As had become ritual, I bought Stella a lollipop and took it to her before going home. When I went to give it to her, I didn't see the usual smile she always gave me after I gave her candy. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but went against it because we were surrounded by other people. I went in for my goodbye hug but all I got was a short pat in the back before she moved away from me.

Had she seen Britney and me? Is that why she's upset? If so, she had nothing to worry about. We are just friends now. She used to trust me around girls and never seemed to mind, but lately it has become an issue and I understand why. But I'm gonna have to figure out a way to get her trust back.

Xxx

It's the day of our dance and Stella hasn't spoken to me unless a complete necessity. It feels weird going back to her being upset with me and I can't stand it but I have to live with it for a few more hours and then we can talk it through. The other group had presented their dance the night before and Stella seemed so happy for them. Victor, Stan and Anthony were in the other group so she'd come to the show just to watch them. Part of me is still jealous about her relationship with Victor. I guess I will always be, but I have to get over it because he was there for her when I wasn't. I'm very grateful for him now, because I know how broken Stella actually was. Victor, Samuel and Stan are what kept her from falling apart like a broken vase.

I've been working on the issue of not respecting myself lately. I've googled a few ways to help me get better. For Stella I'd learn how to make sand turn to snow. But I think that what's most important is that I'm not only improving myself for her but I'm also doing it for myself. She is a major reason for most of the change in me but it's also causing me to develop my relationship with people around me. Not on a big scale but somehow.

Two hours before we have to go to stage I catch Stella by herself and I hug her from behind. I need the hug in order to gain the courage of what I'm going to do. She wants to pull away from me but gives in to that small moment with me. I take a step back but still have her in my arms and look down at her. Her lips are so tempting and inviting me right in. I haven't kissed her in a month! A whole month without having her that close to me. A torturous month full of pain and agony. I want to apologize once more but I know that it's been all forgiven, she told me herself last week when she invited me over so that we could have a chat. We spent most of the afternoon just catching up on the things that we didn't know due to our time apart.

That afternoon marked the day that we became considerably close again, for we could sit down and chat about the most insignificant things in our lives and we could also talk about the pain that had been felt in our relationship. That day she told me that we might be able to work through the issues we have. And that's what we have been trying to do. The work is tiring sometimes and I just want to skip it all and go to the perfect couple life we had before. However, I respect her decision to try and rebuild our relationship. She is treating it with such a delicate hand and has been so calm and collected throughout the whole thing that I can't help but admire her even more.

Many would have either given up on us, or tried to get revenge on me. She took her time to collect herself and make herself whole again before adding me to the equation. I feel like now I wouldn't dare try to even put her in the least amount of pain imaginable. I value her even more now that I know what it is like to lose her completely.

After we had given each other the support we needed to continue the rest of the night, Stella gathered us boys to get us all dressed and ready to go on stage. After many modifications to what was once a wacky choreography, we managed to have a beautiful dance that we were proud to present. When the moment came everything was in such a rush and such chaos that I knew I'd only be able to talk to her later. We took a few pictures before entering the stage and did the beautiful dance. I was so focused in doing the dance right that I didn't have time to scan the crowd for her. When we were done, Stella came on stage and we all bowed together. As we were about to leave, the crowd was asking for a repetition. I saw the look of absolute glee and pride on Stella's face. Right then I knew that we'd won even though it wasn't a competition.

At the end of it all I went to get the flowers I had given someone to keep and called her to where I was sitting. The flowers were hidden behind the large rock I was sitting on and it was quite dark so I doubt that she would see them. Fear ran through my spine, what if she wasn't ready? I just had to ask and see. I looked at Stella and she was still glowing with the high of seeing us perform.

"You did a good job getting us ready," I tell her.

"And you all did a good job, they asked you to repeat!" She squealed in joy. "I'm so proud of you boys."

"We are the ones that have to thank our amazing choreographer," I said and she rolled her eyes but I knew that she was enjoying the compliments. "Well, that's not why I called you here," I said, feeling a little nervous but with adrenaline pumping through my body.

"Why then?" She asked tilting her head to the side.

"Remember how you told me that I'd never actually asked you to be my girlfriend using the exact words?" I asked and she nodded. "I'd never asked anyone that until this moment." I say and kneel with the flowers in front of me. "Stella Merlyn Rivers, I'm absolutely in love with you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Her face was of complete shock. Her mouth was agape and her eyes hidden behind her glasses were also popped wide open. After a few second she recovered and was smiling that beautiful smile that illuminates even the darkest of moments. She took the flowers and hugged them.

"You didn't have to kneel you know?" She asked laughing but still hiding behind the flowers in shyness.

"Awn! I saw that," Denise yelled coming to us. I stood up and my heart faltered a little. She'd still given me no answer. "Congrats guys!"'

"Thanks," I said.

"I want to be the maid of honor," Denise said smiling.

"You know that we're not getting married right?" Stella asked her. Then she looked at me and smiled. "Thank you for the flowers."

"Stella, get ready, we're leaving in ten." Ana called out and Stella nodded.

Denise let her go and she held my hand in hers. On the way to where our stuff was Stella saw my mom and stopped to greet her. I nodded at her and left to get my things. As I was packing up and removing the tutu that we danced in, Stella came in, still smiling.

"Do I have an answer," I said a little sad.

"I have to go right now but we'll talk about it tomorrow okay?" She asked and I nodded in defeat. "Have a good night." She said and left.

I went home and took a shower. I was exhausted from the day but it was like my mind wouldn't let me rest. I was anxious for tomorrow. Why did she have to do this to me? I tossed and turned all night until I fell asleep.