Augenblick

Chapter 5

30th August 1939, France

'The desire to fly is an idea handed down to us by our ancestors who... looked enviously on the birds soaring freely through space... on the infinite highway of the air.' ~ Wilbur Wright

There was a heavy weight on Daniel's shoulders as he leaned against the stone wall of the hospital taking in deep drags of cigarette smoke and holding back tears. His shirt and white coat was soaked in tiny droplets of red that were dark against the white and about it a small hand print, it felt unreal ass though what had occurred and taken place in some book or a dream. Each breath in shook his whole body and he knew inside that building there was still quite the fight to save the girl and stop the bleeding. He had told to go home.

Daniel instead stood there with little faith that he could continue with this and that maybe he should just change courses because the blood that soaked his hands was bold and bright. He had wiped it on several white sheets of cotton but traces lay in the groves that carved out his finger prints and it stayed as a reminder. He ran one hand through his hair before throwing his cigarette on the ground and screwing it into the floor with his foot as he exhaled and pushed off the wall.

He didn't want to go but he didn't want to cry out here and home seemed safe and warm so he left reluctantly heading in the general direction of his car, he had passed his test at the start of August and his parents had quickly bought him one for work making it the tenth car in town as not many people had them because not many people could drive.

He sat in the driver's seat and slammed his hands angrily on the wheel before driving taking a longer route back to the house. He needed to think, the stress of the hospital the reminder that death cares for no one and the sickly scent of mortality all clinging to him like life support. He wanted to cry into the wheel but instead focused almost entirely on the road speeding sometimes for release. Even with taking the longest route it barely stopped him from coming home in less than an hour so the car was abandoned by the gate and he locked the doors with almost a frustrating amount of time and marched to his front door. He entered without a word hooking his keys on a hook and leaving for the warmth of the fire.

The Persian rug which had just been imported lay bright and warming to Daniel who lowered himself and lay flat on his back waiting for something a little better to happen. He could deal with it being Emmanuel as long as it was a good distraction for his thoughts that ran laps around his head very quickly. He was so lost in the tragedy of the day he never realised his mother entering her heels clicking against the wooden floor and he never realised he had began to cry.

'Darling what is it?' it was soothing to hear the words wash over him like a piece of home being given to you

'It has been a God awful day Mama' Daniel replied sitting up looking at her with tearful eyes and an injured heart

'What happened?' His mother asked her eyes growing in concern as she held him close to her

'I couldn't help her Mama she was no older than eight and I just couldn't I began to Panic. The doc told me to go home and Mama I just couldn't do it' Daniel cried heavily into her neck it was hard to see him cry like this as though he were a child and not a young man. She hadn't seen him cry in a long time and she thought him like his father who was strong and brave and resilient. But no he was no better than a child so hurt and broken by the thought of mortality.

'Hush baby, please don't cry we all go through this point we do not have it in us to stay strong all the time but broken souls will heal harder if you allow them' His mother whispered lightly in his ear while kissing his temple 'Come you will help me make cookies for the book club no?'

'Yes Mama' He replied smiling lightly as she guided him to the kitchen where there were several brown packages lying on the counters in wait to be opened.