Thawed

Camp

Just past the equator, the heat became too much. We chose the only cloud we could see for quite awhile and did our best to cool it down. We both could only manage so much since we were both overheated. This was one of the rare times that we would actually need sleep. "Sig..." "Jack." "Sorry, Sigourney, you sleep first. I'll keep the cloud cold." "No, it's fine." "Sig, I've been doing this longer, I've had to deal with using as little power possible for awhile." "No, I've got this, you sleep." "Both of us can't stay awake or sleep right now, besides, you won't have to talk to me if you're asleep." "I won't have to talk to you if you're asleep either." "Don't you remember, I talk in my sleep. But if you're asleep you won't have to listen to ANY talking." "You're not going to let this go, are you?" "No. Sleep, you need it more than I do." With a glare I stood up and walked to the furthest edge of the cloud that I could. 

"Goodnight Sig." "Whatever Jack."  I faced away from him and closed my eyes after curling up. Sleep hit me like a truck. At once point it felt like I was flying, but it was followed by feeling like I was literally hit by a truck, that or dropped from hundreds of feet onto concrete. That pain jerked me out of my sleep, where I was in Jack's arms. "What the hell?" "We lost our cloud, and you fell." "Thanks then." I rolled out of his arms and we continued travelling in the air with no more unnecessary physical contact. From North America down to the South Pole was going to be the shortest part of this journey and I was already feeling like it was taking way too long. 

"Listen, Sig... I'm sorry for what I said. There could've been better ways for me to approach the subject and I was just mean about it." "I don't want to talk about it Jack." "We should though. I do care about you, even still." "If it makes you feel any better, I hate you a little less." "Alright." It's not like I was lying, I just wish I could've said something nicer. After what Jack said to me, I started thinking about him a lot more than I'd care to admit. I really didn't want to hate him, I had just spent to much time blaming him for so much. Was it possible to shift that hatred somewhere else? Whose fault was it? I used to blame myself, but I didn't choose any of this. I didn't choose for my family to die. I didn't choose to become a winter sprite. I didn't choose to die myself. But if Jack didn't either than who did? There had to be someone to blame, right? 

If there wasn't someone to blame, what have I given up?