Making It Big

Chapter Two: Day Two

Waking up to a strange room is a bit disconcerting. I feel lost and confused. My near naked body is making me feel self concious. As I wake up more and more, I feel as though this was a dumb idea.

I can't afford to live here and I'm not sure that I'm emotionally prepared to be here. Thinking about last night I pull my phone out and decide to google these guys. I want to know what's going on with them.

It's only 6 am but I feel like I need to get up and have a shower before they get up.

Searching my bag for a towel and a clean change of clothes, I quickly bolt to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. Looking down at my body I feel the embarrasment creeping up on me. The scars on my legs that start just below my underwear. They make it worse, they need my attention and maybe some friends. But the other people can't know that they are there. No one needs to know.

Turning the shower on and stepping in the tears start to flow, again. This always happens, why does this always happen.

As I turn the water off I hear a knock at the door. Naturally I start to freak out because I'm naked. Quickly wrapping the towel around me, not taking much care, I open the door. It's the boy from yesterday.

"Oh, um, sorry I thought it would have been Zoe or Alfie, I'll come back." He says looking at the ground.

"Are you sure? I'm done so you can come in if you want." I offer, not really sure if it's the right thing to do.

"Well I guess, I mean they don't understand anyway. There's probably not much difference between talking to you and them." He says as he slinks into the bathroom. I didn't know what to say, I hadn't expected him to want to talk to me.

"Just let me put some clothes on and make this a little less awkward." I try to joke.

I pull my One Direction T-shirt on and as I bend down to reach my underwear, my towel falls. I freeze, freaking out that some guy is looking at my ass. The fact I'm gay makes it so much worse.

"Cute ass." Troye laughs.

His words pull me from my trance allowing me to put pants on. It suddenly dawns on me what he said. Normally a guy would say something derogetory or jokingly but he said it with such conviction.

"Anyway," I laugh. "Is everything okay? You seem a little upset." I dare to say, scared to offend.

"Well, I'm gay and I just broke up with my boyfriend who somewhat violated me sexually.' His quiet voice and quick pace makes it hard for me to hear but I understand what he is saying.

Something oddly similar happened to me, but I'm not sure if now is when I am meant to tell him. Should I even tell him I am gay? Or should I just comfort him?

"Oh, well um. I'm gay too. And I have had a fairly similar thing happen to me. I totally get how you're feeling. He was my first love, my first everything and it all ended because he touched me without my consent, even when I told him no he still did it. It took me 2 months of constant crying to get over it, but I'm still dealing with the effects." I ramble my story, hoping it's comforting rather than annoying.

"You're gay?" Is that really all he took away from my story.

"Yeah." I say unsure what to do.

"Well at least I'm not on my own anymore. In my friend group there are three of us and I have always been on the outside. I'm really sorry for what happened to you by the way and I would really like it if we could work through this together." Wow, he was listening.

"I would really like that." As we start to hug each other a voice comes through the door.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THERE?" Zoe yells.

Troye bursts out laughing and I can hear them outside commenting on how they haven't heard him laugh in a while.

Maybe this is my ticket to making it big and never having to worry about rent again. We unlock the door and head out to face the music. Zoe and Alfie are standing there with huge grins on their faces.

"What have you two been up to in there?" Alfie asks in a much calmer way than Zoe had.

"Just talking." Troye says, the smile dropping from his face.

"Troye, I know you were happy before so whats up now?" Zoe asks calmly.

"Nothing." He says and storms off to his room.

I turn and head towards mine, a somber mood taking over the house. Why do these things always happen. I don't think they meant to upset him, I just think they don't know how to deal with what he is gooing through.

...

It wasn't until almost 1 pm that Troye came out of his room. The rest of us were sitting on the couch talking about their friends, who were apparently coming over later.

"Troye, the others are going to be here soon mate, you ready?" Alfie asked Troye, watching his every move.

"Um, is that today? When are they going to be here?" Troye's voice breaks and I can see the fear in his eyes, I know that fear.

"Yeah it's today, they are meant to be here at 1 pm and that's basically now." Alfie replies.

I watch as the colour drains from Troye's face, his eyes blown wide. Suddenly he runs. Swiftly shutting his bedroom door behind him. The sound of footsteps on the gravel outside, signals the arrival of the guests.

The three of us look at each other, not one of us entirely sure what to do. I take it upon myself to go to Troye, as that feels like the right thing to do.

I knock on the door and turn the handle, rather surprised when it opens. I peer my head around the door and slowly enter, closing it behind me. Troye is on his bed, cuddled into the duvet, shaking. I turn to lock the door to see that it no longer exists. Instead moving a chair behind it.

Moving slowly over to him and sitting on the bed.

"Are you okay?" I say softly, hoping not to startle him.

"Not really. My friends are here and I look like a wreck because I've been crying and am just generally upset."

"Well how about you get up and we make you look and feel presentable?" I offer.

"I want to have a shower, but Alfie wouldn't help me when I asked him and I dont know." He's scared, I can tell.

"Does he normally help you?" I must admit, I am a little confused.

"Yeah, I can't shower by myself because I have such bad anxiety that I am scared I might fall and die." Okay, not what I expected.

"Would I be able to help?"

"I guess but I don't want everyone to see me going there."

"They are all in the living room so come on lets go now. Grab a towel and some clothes." This could get awkward, gay and gay.

We make a mad dash for the bathroom. When we get inside I lock the door and turn the shower on. Troye checks the temperature of the water and turns to look at me.

"Are you going to be okay with me naked? I will close the shower curtain." His need to ask is so cute.

"It's fine. I might be gay, but I'm not going to pounce." I joke, hoping to lighten the mood.

He laughs and strips off, jumping into the shower. After about five minutes the water turns off and his hand sticks out of the curtain, fumbling to find the towel.

Once he is dressed he looks at me. His eyes are still puffy from his crying but not even makeup will cover. I choose not to say anything and follow him back towards his bedroom. He quickly dumps his clothes and we make our way to the living room.

As soon as we get to the threshold he freezes.