The best thing about life is the ability to control and manage them all by yourself.
So yeah, at first it's your parents who give you orders and direct you to the way they would have want you to go by, then it becomes your friends that reveal a whole new world to your eyes, then it's your boss, your husband or wife and sometime even your own children.
But despite all that, at the end of the day it was your choice to listen to your parents, to be effected by your friends, partner, boss and children. it was your choice.
But me? I have no choice.
"Blythe can you come here for a second?"
I remember that day like it was not yesterday but today.
I remember the look on mom's face and the sadness in dad's eyes, but most of all I remember the looks on the doctors face.
"yes mom?" my 6 years older brother sits on the sofa and runs a hand on it's edge, I can see he realizes something is wrong and he is trying to figure out what.
Mom has decided to tell my siblings separately, she was afraid they will effect each other with their different reactions but mostly she was scared that they will effect me.
"That can't be" Blythe opens his eyes wide, I swear I see tears sprout on the edge of his big green eyes. We don't say a word, we give Blythe the chance to sink that new information down.
"She is gonna be alright, right?" he asks within 2 minutes of silence, my mom doesn't answer, my dad looks away and I? I don't know what I should do or say, I sit on the big chair wrapped around myself like a little ball not moving, not talking.
That day was March 3rd 2010.
"No, unfortunately chemo therapy won't be enough anymore" I hear Doctor Roman whisper as I open my eyes slowly and explore the around, I growl softly and cover my face with the white blanket that has 'Brooks S. Fisher Hospital' printed all over it.
"oh good she is awake" he says to my mom that now stands closer to my bed
"sadly" I mumble under the cover
I hear my mom sigh. I turn on my side and look through the big window that viewed the main street, the huge traffic on the main road pointed that it is probably around 7:30am right now. most people are going to work, and I can see teens walking into the public high school that was placed on the other side of the road. they look like they are marching towards their own death, they look miserable and desperate. I wish I could be like them, I wish high school would have been the reason for my misery.
"is it okay with you?" my mom touches my shoulder from behind
I shake my head softly so I won't get a massive headache and turn on my back again to look at her
"what are you talking about?" I ask, making it clear that I wasn't listening to what they were saying
"Jenna," Doctor Roman says softly "You will have to stay at the hospital for another week before we will let you go home for the weekend"
I blink softly then sit up to get a better view of them both, I rest a hand on my forehead and close my eyes softly trying to get rid of the vertigo I have every time I dare to pick my head up off the pillow.
"But you always let me out for the weekends" I pout once I am able to think clearly
"We know honey, " mom holds my hand and rubs it softly "but there is a little.. complication. see, it's better if you will stay here under supervision for now" she smiles
