Your only CHOICE

Emotion

((Saeran's POV))

Mc hasn't been back in a few hours, my head starts to think of different bad situations she might have had, and my stomach keeps turning as my mind keeps running on and on. I haven't felt like this in a long time, the last time I felt like this is before Rika came to me, when I was waiting for him to come home.

Am I really worried about her? I haven't known her for vary long, or even feel like I care about her right now. I mean, I cared about her before she made me mad at her. I sigh loudly and flop on my back onto the bed, my arms sprawled out as I look up at the blank ceiling. Feelings are to hard to understand and cope with, that's why I've given up on them years and years ago, so why are they coming back? I thought it was for sure that I hid them well enough so they would never arise, but here they are. A tangle of knots and loops of emotions in my head and my chest, each of them battling to try to find their way out.

The more I think about her, the more the emotions rise in my chest. I can't take it anymore! I cover my face with my pillow and screen out into it, releasing all that's in my chest into the fluff of my pillow so no one can hear it. I take the pillow off my face and take deep breaths, trying to regain the oxygen that I lost as I expelled the jumble from my chest and head.

Everything goes back to what it normally was, no emotion to bother me or my work. I can't have feelings get in the way of what I want to do.

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((Mc's POV))

Hours of reading this, hours reading that, a few more jotting notes down over and over so the information I need stays in my head. I feel as if I'm in the basement again in the way that I only know the amount of time I've been here based on the meals I get. It seems every five hours, Rika walks in and gives me a try of food, forcing me to stop my work to eat, she also comes around 6 hours after the last meal of the day to force me to sleep, and 9 hours later I wake up to do it all over again.

"Mc, you've been in here for weeks now." Rika said, sitting next to me at the table I've been stationed at all this time.

"I know-" I mumble out as I finish the book on security systems. I look up at her. I probably smell awful, I haven't showered or done anything hygienic in the time I've been here, I've just slept, eaten, and have been studying this entire time.

"Mc," she said in a slight giggle, but I've talked with her enough now to know that it was fake, she's all just fake. "I know you hate me saying this, but no matter what, you act just like Saeran!" She said with an ugly smile on her face.

"Ugh." I grunt out, standing up and grabbing the book I just finished, putting it back on the shelf it came from. "When are you going to stop talking to me about that, or at all, I'm doing work here that is basically life or death for me" I said in an attempt of annoyance, even if I'm just have no emotional correlation at the moment. I grab the next book on the shelf that has to do with work and not recreational reading or activities.

"Mc!" She said harshly this time, I look up at her as I put the new book down at the table, "you can't live like this! And if you can't take care of yourself, I'll have to ground you from work for the time being!"

"You can't do that" I said, sitting down and looking back at my book, opening it up.

"I'm the leader of this place, I have the absolute power and authority to do that." She said, closing the book I just opened and pulled it away from me. I look up at her in frustration, not fake frustration but actual frustration. "And as I am in that position of power, I order you to go take a shower, maybe take a nap in an actual bed instead of on the table with your head in a book!" She said, collecting all my notebooks that I've been filling out. "And I'll be keeping these for a while until I see fit that you'll be taking care of yourself" she stands up and walks to the exit of the library.

"Where do I shower?! Or lay down?! I don't even have a room yet?!" I yell at her as she walks out, she stops and turns around with a sly smile,

"Go ask Saeran if you can use his, I'm sure he won't mind" she said happily, fully knowing that I would rather sleep on a bed of thorns before going to talk to him, but she gave me an order, and as much as I hate the order and don't trust her, I have to do it since she also has the power and the authority to rid me of life.