And That's How It Happened

Chapter 15 | Month 2 | Just Can't Get Enough?

Song of the Chapter: Migraine by Twenty One Pilots

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When I wake up, my head is on Hotshot's chest and I can't help but snuggle closer to him. He's so warm and he fits perfectly with me.

"Just can't get enough?" Hotshot asks huskily.

I put my chin on his chest so I can look at him. Opening my mouth to respond, I feel a pang shoot through my head and close my eyes against the wave.

"Baby Doll?" Hotshot asks worriedly.

His voice echoes in my head and I close my eyes tighter to get rid of the sensation. The pain takes over me and it's all I can do to not scream out. Every move makes the pain intensify, so I lay there, waiting for it to pass.

"Baby Doll? Please talk to me," I hear Hotshot plead in the distance.

I want to bury my head under a rock just to get rid of the pain. I can't take it. Groaning, I bury my head into Hotshot's chest and whimper, curling into a ball as my head continues to be pounded with a jackhammer. Hotshot rubs my back and pushes my hair from my forehead with his other hand, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

After about ten minutes of staying in that position, the headaches finally passes and I can see again. Looking back up, I see Hotshot with a horrified expression on his face.

Is it that bad to see me? I slowly get out of bed, dejected.

Of course it's that bad. You know why? Because no one likes you. No one wants you. Can't you tell?

I trudge to the bathroom, still slightly dizzy, to pop an aspirin in my mouth. As I get ready for the day, I keep my eyes away from the mirror. I don't want to see what's so wrong with me that he had that look on his face. When I open the door, still sad, Hotshot is sitting on the bed, playing Spider Solitaire on my phone.

Suddenly, I feel a rush of anger. How dare he? How dare he string me along, pretending to be my friend, only to ditch me in the end? How dare he be so nice and charming I fell under his spell? Is this a game to him? See if he can make me get close to him, then rip that relationship away, breaking my heart?

I stomp over to him and relay exactly what I just thought.

"What're you talking about? I'm not stringing you along! I actually care for you! Can't you understand that?" He thunders, standing up so that he can see me better, causing him to be inches from my face.

I suck in a breath, but don't allow the proximity to affect me. In fact, it makes me angrier. He thinks he can just stand close to me and I'll surrender because I 'like him'? I think not.

"No, you don't! You never liked me! It was just a game to see if you could make me fa-I mean get close to you and then cut the string! That headache earlier just gave you a way out! Well, congrats. There's your way out! You never gave to see me again!" I yell, knowing that everyone else is asleep but not caring.

"I never strung you along!" He shouts, running hand through his hair, frustrated.

"Then why did you look so horrified when I had that headache?" I demand despite the fact that I wanted to keep that tidbit to myself.

All the tension leaves his body and he gives me relieved smile. I don't smile back.

"I was horrified. You're right."

Hurt, I turn on my heel and head to the door.

"Horrified at myself."

I stop but don't turn around.