50 awesome chuck norris jokes and facts......
1.When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
2. Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
3. Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
4. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
5. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
6. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
7. If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
8. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
9. Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
10. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
12. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
13. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
14. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
15. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
16. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
17. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
18. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
19. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
20. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
21. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
22. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
23. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
24. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
25. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
26. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
27. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
28. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
29. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
30. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
31. Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
32. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
33. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
34. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
35. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
36. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
37. While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
38. Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
39. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
40. Chuck Norris doesn't jump he stares at gravity and it changes direction.
41. Only one person cried when Chuck Norris was born and that was the doctor.... no one slaps Chuck Norris
42. Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
43. Chuck Norris played who will blink first, with a mirror. And he won
44. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
45. A Klondike Bar will do anything for a Chuck Norris.
46. Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built.
47. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
48. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
49. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
50. Chuck Norris can divide by zero
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LOL XD just laugh already
Humoras you may have known already this is a book for JOKES and funny stuff like so so if you want to laugh or light up your mood check out this book XD i will try my best fill it with as much jokes as possible.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
