i looked out the wndow and relied i had fucked up to much to fix theer only one person i coulod tell but he was long gone he dint care about me any more i thought to my self he left me for a reson but i had nowone to tell ,i couldnet hurt i thought ,i picked up my phone and diele his nuber it rang onnce ,twice,
"hello" he answered ,i dint say anything i just breathed into the phone and tryed not to cry but the tears were starting to pool in my eyes and i herd him pull the phone back from his ears to look at the number and then herd him say "mj" like he was shockd i rembered his number tehn i couldnt take it i broke down and started to bawl just ball letting out major sobs,then i relized he was still listening so i wispered "sorry "into the phone and hung up.tehn i trew the phone across the room and when it rang again i screamed and fell the floor on my knees and said out load but mostly for myslf to hear ,"kep it in dont let them see,dont let them know they hurt you and NEVER EVER ket them see you cry "well l broke that one ,but then again i broke alot of rules for him one i let him in two i let myself love him tree i couldent let go of him and i regreted ever opening up to people.causeu this is what happeneds your stuck with a bunch of guys that want you and only one guy you want then i met zech.
and little did i know everything was about to change forever.i was about to learn that loving somone is the equalivent of being a rose bush its beutiful at firts then it starts to grow and bigger and then you reach into the middle of it and get stabbed bye the thorns.and u bleed for them and it hurts.
i never stoped loving him i just couldent.it hurt every day everything reminded i dont sing anymore and i dont do many musical things anymore.i dont wanna be reminded of how i fucked up.
again but i promised myself i would keep trying.
