Drowning In Fear

Chapter 1: Five Days

"You are the true master of the Shimada Clan."

"Young master, you must not falter now. You must take your enemies down without hesitation."

"Young master, the Shimada Clan needs you..."

"Young master..."

"Master..."

...

A never ending nightmare. You cannot run away. Not now. Not ever. You will never be good enough. You cannot be good enough. You are not worthy of the name. That is why your father died. You must be punished. You must kill him. He cannot taint the name. It is your duty.  You cannot ... You must not... You will not...

...

Screams. Yelling. Hitting. Whipping. Punching. Kicking- 
They never stop. They won't stop. It's to fix me, they said. It's so that I'd know how to be a proper master. Young Master. Master Shimada. Shimada-san. Foolish boy. Reckless.

...

He woke up crying again. How long has it been since that same dream tortured him? He felt the tears soaking his face, dripping down ever so slowly onto his clothes. Everyday. Everyday he woke up, tear stains on his pillow, pain throbbing in his chest. He told himself he had to do it. It was for the sake of his duty. That the clan came first. But even reasoning couldn't help him. Not when he was trapped in this damned place. He had to get out. But how? They would catch him again. They'd chain him down. Whip him, punch him, threaten him. Maybe they're right. Maybe he just needed to believe in their words for once. 

But he knew it was wrong. They were wrong.

He sighed, releasing the air he unconsciously held onto in his chest. It was still early in the morning, but as the Master of the Shimada Clan, he had to get up early and get to work. Filing papers, holding meetings, and talking about the future of the clan. Everything was for the sake of the clan. It was as if he was sacrificing his life for this shit of a clan he called home. But something caught his ears as he and the elders talked.

"An alliance? With another group?"

"Yes Young Master. You must have heard of the Deadlock Gang that operates in the United States?"

"I have... Are we planning to work with them? Did you not say with your own lips that you wished not to taint the Clan's name?"

"However working with them will bring advantages for us. With all of the different weapons they deal with, we will see an improvement within our Clan. Think about it carefully Young Master. We can create an empire with these kind of advanced technologies."

"I... I see. Very well. Contact them and tell them that the Master of the Shimada Clan wishes to see them in person. Tell them to come as soon as possible to Hanamura."

"Excellent choice, Young Master."

But he had doubts in his mind. Was it truly the right choice to make? All of their previous so called alliances failed miserably, and it brought nothing but trouble for the Clan. But at this point, he didn't care what happened to the clan. He would rather die than to continue living this life in hell anyways. Maybe he could fuck everything up just so that he could finally die. 

Maybe this time, he would feel what he felt.

But that would be too good to be true. To wish for death was the same as a peasant wishing to be a billionaire the very next day. No matter what he did, he couldn't die. He was in charge of this clan, and it was his duty to lead it. But... was he really in charge?

Dark clouds flooded his mind. He heard voices in his head-

You're a failure. You killed your brother. All because it was the will of the elders. You're not a Shimada. You're nothing but a mutt that follows orders. You will never be a leader. Hanzo Shimada? Don't be so foolish. It's all garbage. Everything you've done only brought everyone down. You're a disappointment. A mindless pawn, at the beck and call of the elders like a dog. A true Shimada, but at what cost? The life of your own kin? Your brother? You are not ready for anything Hanzo Shim-

"Young Master? You seem a little sick."

"W-what? No, I am fine." He sighs as he shakes his head. He is told that the meeting would happen in five days. Was it too soon? Was it the right choice to plan it so early? Five days. Too soon. He needed to make plans. Everything needed to follow the plan. Nothing can go wrong. Perfect. Just like how his father said. Perfect, excellent, all according to plan, missing, gone, something's wrong, something's not right, bad, horrible, it's all ruined. 

Five days.