Drowning In Fear

Chapter 2: Four Days

You don't deserve this. You didn't do anything. You know nothing of honor. Maybe you're better off dead. A Shimada like you don't belong here. You've disgraced the name.

Worthless. Arrogant. Selfish.

Nothing matters but yourself. You think the world revolves around you. 

Powerless. Garbage. 

.

.

.

Your actions killed your mother. Your father died and it's all your fault. Everything you touch dies. You bring death and despair to the Clan. You don't belong here.

You.

...

Another nightmare. Too often, too vivid. Everything felt so... real. He woke up, tear stains on the pillow and the bed sheet a mess. His throat felt sore, as if he was yelling in his sleep, but he must have, because some of the guards outside came running in. 

"Young Master! Are you alright?"

"Do not worry about me. I just need time alone. Leave me be."

At his commands, the guards left, returning to their position they were at before. He sighed, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He turned around, seeing the clock read 2:13 A.M., and lied back down on his pile of blankets that laid around him. But after what it seemed like an endless amount of tossing and turning, the Young Master decided maybe it was for the best if he took a walk around the town to calm himself down. He put on a light kimono and tied his hair back loosely, walking out of his room yawning. The guards tried to convince him not to leave, but he dismissed them, telling them to stay and guard his belongings. He wants privacy... or at least some what of a privacy, since he can't get out of their sharp eyes. 

Grabbing his small bag that contained money, the Young Master left the main hall of the Shimada Clan's residence and headed down towards the familiar street that lay ahead of him. He passed by the old arcade, hearing the buzzing of the electronics and the yelling of some delinquents playing with each other late at night. He smiled, remembering how much he and his brother played in that same arcade long ago. But soon the images of his last meeting with Genji resurfaced, stopping him from taking a step. Every step felt like walking on a bed of nails, with the vivid nightmare like hallucination surrounding his mind.

...

"Brother! Why- Why are you doing this?!"

"You are nothing to this Clan, Genji. We must keep our name sacred."

"But you are my brother! You are the only family I have left! Please Hanzo!" 

"... Goodbye Genji."

.

.

.

His head was spinning by the time the hallucination ended. When was this nightmarish hell going to end? Everyday, he was reminded of what he has done,and everything fell on his shoulder, weighing him down. But the elders never gave a damn. They laughed at how much he was suffering, saying how he wasn't strong enough to lead yet. That his father would have done it without a second thought. 

The world was spinning around him, and it felt like his eyes were going to bleed out. He felt the tear drops on his hands as he reached out for the nearest wall for support, and ended up hurling what little he had in his stomach. Maybe it would be for the best if he just lied down here and let some stray dogs attack him. It would be better than carrying the weight of everything on his shoulders.

After cleaning himself up, the Young Master went along his way to where he wanted to go to- a local bar. It was always rowdy no matter what time of the day it was, so it wasn't very surprising to find the bar full of people trying to drown their miserable lives away. As he entered the bar, everyone lifted their heads to look at who was at the door. Once they realized who it was, they became silent, quietly and carefully eyeing the man. That was to be expected anyways.

He made his way to the counter near the bartender, ordering his usual drink. After noticing that the man came peacefully, the crowd began to talk once more, making noises, singing, yelling, and doing whatever the hell those commoners did. It eased him, knowing that at least he was somewhat welcomed here, among the crowd of innocent. But the room began to quiet down again, and this time, he didn't know why. 

As he took a shot of his drink, he noticed a figure taking a seat next to him. Strange. Up till now, no one dared to sit next to him in fear of something bad happening to them. He turned to face the man, and to his surprise, it was someone that he's never seen before. Before he got the chance to take a good look at him, the man in the hat turned around and spoke with a thick accent.

"Howdy pardner. Couldn't help but notice that yer alone. Mind if I drink next to yah?"

Surprised by the accent, Hanzo couldn't help but laugh. Not only was he dressed like one of those cowboys from old Western movies, but he also spoke like one. You don't see those everyday. Everyone stared at the two, mouth open wide from shock. Did the Young Master just laugh?

"You are welcome to join me, cowboy."

"Thank ya kindly. You can call me McCree."

"McCree. You are not from here are you?"

"Naw. Just 'ere fer a lil visit. So... erm..."

"Hanzo. You may call me Hanzo."

And once more the crowd dropped their mouth as if they just heard another omnic crisis was coming. Not only did the Young Master smile, but he also revealed his actual name. To a complete stranger. Were they dreaming, or was this really happening?"

Maybe making the meeting take place in 5 days was a good idea. It gave Hanzo a little more time finally take a break from all of his so called duties. At least it would distract him from all those nightmares and hallucinations. From his never ending horrors of being forced to remember about Genji. His father. His mother. The elders. All the punishments- whipping, slapping, kicking, stabbing, punching, hair-pulling. The pain of carrying all the blame on his shoulders.

Four days.