Letters by Her [Book 2]

Chapter 28

Dusty couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Ashley as she lay in Kyera's bed that night. "Hey, is everything okay?" she asked, turning to face her girlfriend.

"Um, yeah, I'm fine," Dusty answered.

"You're pretty quiet."

"I'm just tired. Finals are really taking it out of me."

"Yeah, senior year has been tough," Kyera agreed, returning to lying on her back and looking up at the ceiling.

"Do you ever think about graduation?" Dusty asked, trying to sound casual.

"What about it? Do I think that it's a conformist ritual that is pointless and contrite, then, yes, I think about it."

"So you don't plan on attending?"

"What would be the point?" Kyera asked.

"I don't know. It's meant to be one of those big life moments."

"According to who, society? I make my own moments, you know that."

Dusty was quiet for a moment, contemplating how to proceed. "What about after graduation?" her voice sounded small and unsure.

"What do you mean?"

"After we graduate, what are your plans? I mean, will you get a job, move back home, what will you do?" She felt Kyera shrug beside her.

"I don't know," she said. "Life will just happen, I guess."

"So you've made no plans?"

"No, you know what they say about best laid plans and all." Kyera tilted her head so that she could focus on Dusty; she noticed how her lips were drawn together in a tight line. "Have you made plans?" she asked.

"Me, um, well, I've applied to some graduate positions."

"Where?" Kyera's tone was growing aggressive.

"New York."

"New York?" Kyera sat up and rustled around in her bedside drawer, searching for a cigarette, which she finally found and lit.

"Yeah, I've always wanted to go and live there, at least for a bit," Dusty said, sitting up and rubbing her hands down Kyera's bare back.

"Kyeri dreamed of living there," Kyera said. "She wanted to be on Broadway."

"Well, it's an amazing place, full of opportunity. Lots of people dream of going there."

"Uh huh." Kyera took a long drag on her cigarette, watching the release smoke curl up into the air above her.

"That's why I wanted to know what your plans were," Dusty said, still stroking her back in circular, cathartic motions.

"Why do my plans matter? Seems you've got it all figured out already," Kyera barked at her, getting up and stalking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Dusty called after her.

"For a shower," Kyera replied without looking back at her. "Suddenly I feel really dirty."

Dusty lay on the bed, waiting for Kyera to return, but eventually fell asleep. Her body relaxed into the warmth of her mattress, and she dreamed that she was in New York.

She was exiting a tall, glass building wearing high-waist black trousers and a loose-fitting cream silk blouse that had been tucked in to accentuate her small waist. On her feet were black patent stilettos, and she carried a brown leather brief- case. With her hair up in a bun and a smattering of makeup on her face, Dusty looked every inch the New York profes- sional.

She exited the building and turned to walk up the street that was bustling with people. She weaved between them and eventually came to a stop outside a small bistro café. She was waiting for someone.

Up ahead in the crowd she spotted a familiar beautiful figure wearing a stylish grey dress. She smiled when she spotted her, and when she caught up to her, she wrapped her arms around her before kissing her on the lips, the gesture both intimate and sincere. Dusty felt warm and safe in her embrace, surrounded by love. She looked at her, and suddenly the dream stopped being so idyllic. It was Valentine.

Dusty awoke in Kyera's bed, jolting from the dream in a sharp, sudden movement. She took a few seconds to fully wake up from the fog of sleep. Remembering where she was, she looked around and, to her dismay, saw that the bed beside her was still empty. Glancing at the digital clock on Kyera's side of the bed, a gift she had reluctantly accepted from her, she saw that it was two in the morning.

She'd clearly not gone for a shower as she'd previously told her. Angrily, Dusty got out of bed, pulling on her jeans and one of Kyera's hooded sweaters. The dream had left her dazed, and as she headed out into the corridor, her eyes were stung by the harsh neon lights that lit the hallways.

Walking to the end of the corridor, she entered the female washrooms, doubting there would be anyone in there at such a late hour. As she predicted, they were completely empty. Kyera was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, she took a moment to consider where she would be. In an instant she knew the answer.

It was cold as Dusty walked onto the roof of the building, and she pulled the sweater tightly around her as she headed across the tarmac. She spotted Kyera sitting on the edge of the roof looking dreamily out at the night sky.
He was smoking but shivering from the cold, wearing only a T-shirt and boxer shorts.

"Kyera, what the hell are you doing? Its freezing out here!" she demanded. Kyera turned and looked at her, momentarily bewildered by her presence. "Come back inside!" she ordered her, pointing towards the door to the stairwell as if directing an unruly dog.

"I'm fine here," Kyera called back.

"Stop being a baby, and come back in!"

"What do you care what I do?" Kyera sulked. "You've planned out your entire future, and I'm not a part of it." She bit her lip and looked back out into the empty night. Dusty came and sat next to her, feeling queasy about being so close to the edge of the roof and certain death if she were to fall.

"I've only applied to jobs there. I haven't accepted anything or even been offered anything! That's why I want us to talk about our future, so we can plan it out together." She leaned against her, the smoke cloud of her cigarette tainting the scent of her hair.

"I don't think about the future."

"I know that, but it will soon be here regardless. Graduation is just over a month away."

"I know," Kyera said from behind clenched teeth.

"Why does it make you so mad?"

"Because I'm not stupid, Dusty. I know I can't keep you forever." Kyera sighed, resenting herself for being weak over a woman; something she swore she'd never do. But love had changed her.

"Why can't you?"

"Because I lose everyone I care about," Kyera declared.

"Are you talking about Kyeri?" Dusty asked gently.

"All my parents will think on graduation day is that there should be two of us up there accepting our diplomas, not just one."

"That's not true, Kyera."

"They resent me for taking her from them."

"No, they don't. Your parents love you dearly. I got to witness that first hand over the summer. Thinking they resent you, it's all in your head."

"Are you calling me crazy?" Kyera asked, turning hostile.

"No, of course not! Just please come back to bed."

"Okay." Kyera allowed herself to be led back into the warmth inside.

"I love you, Kyera. You know that, right?" she asked her as they got back into bed.

"What if love isn't enough?" Kyera challenged.

"It has to be," Dusty said sleepily, her body already eager to return to the realm of dreams.