Pathway to Parenthood

The unknown...

Before we even had a chance to process what was going on, dozens of doctors and nurses came running in and swarmed around our daughter's isolette.

Another nurse directs us to wait outside the room as they need space to work, myself and Matt are nearly hysterical at this point. We're sleep deprived and very emotional already and this just tips us over the edge.

After that we are left.

Scared, alone and more terrified than ever before.

I look into the window beside her isolette and my heart clenches. What I saw will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Our daughter was convulsing. That's what makes me realise just how serious this is. She's less than 5 hours old and is already having to fight for her right to live.

Pulling myself away, I slide down the wall until I'm sat on the floor. I start to pray to anyone who will listen.

15 minutes pass and finally a doctor comes out to speak to us.

"Rosie and Matt?" He asks as we nod.

"I'm Doctor Shivorn and I just wanted to come out and explain what has happened and our next steps." He began to speak.

"Your daughter had what we call a convulsion. Now these can be caused by infection which is likely the root cause. But just to be on the safe side, with your permission I'd like to send her for a MRI scan of her brain. This will just rule out anything more sinister. In the meantime I've already got her set up on a course of antibiotics so hopefully she'll improve over next few hours and the convulsions will stop." He finished.

"And your confident that the convulsions were caused by infection?" Matt confirmed.

"I'm pretty sure, but given that your daughter was slightly early and on top of that has the VSD I really just want to air on the side of caution." He explained.

"Okay thank you." Matt smiled wearily as the doctor got paged and left.

We then returned to sitting by our daughter and we began telling her stories of us and what we hope her life to be like.

The subject then changed to choosing a name for her.

"How about Harper?" I suggested as Matt shook his head.

"Aurora. Rory for short." Matt says as my eyes lit up.

"I love it. It's perfect for her!" I exclaimed emotionally, the trauma of the day taking its toll on me.

"You can choose her middle name." He suggested as I grinned.

After thinking for a few minutes, Matt finally revealed what he had chosen.

"Faith." I smiled softly.

"After all we're going to need a lot of it over the next coming days and weeks to come." I explained as a lone tear trailed down Matt's cheek.

"It sounds perfect for her. Aurora Faith Wilding. I tried out as Matt's jaw dropped.

"You...Y-You'd give her my last name?" he says and I nod happy. "Thank you so much!" he says hugging me. 

"Hello Aurora. Now you've got to get better okay? Not just because we love you, but also because there are SO many people who can't wait to meet you." I explained softly.

"Like Uncle Tom and Uncle Chalky." Matt added as I chuckled.

"You've got a whole army of people who love you baby girl. So keep on fighting that big fight okay?" Mo said softly as I watched Aurora's chest rise and fall rhythmically.

Before we knew it, visiting time was over and the doctor returned to take Aurora for her MRI. I kissed her hand softly before having to drag myself away.

Every second away from her feels like torture. We are both already counting down the hours until we can be with her again.