The Things She Thought

9pm

So um, I can't sleep and I think the safest thing for me to do is write. There's no harm in writing right? Yeah psychiatrists recommend writing out your feelings so it must be good.

And all I wanted was for you to stop crossing my mind, you destroyed me. I was there for you and you left me hanging when I thought I needed you the most. Then I realized, I didn't need you at all. And that's what truly broke me. I thought that you needed me as much as I thought I needed you, and when I you left, I realized you never needed me, at all. So now, I'm just another memory, a passing thought every once in a while, maybe followed by a 'I wonder how she's doing...' but nothing more. And lately you've texted me and it's been really dry, like we are strangers and know absolutely nothing about each other. But now I realize, you didn't give a damn about me, so you really don't know who I am anymore, but I know who you used to be, before you went and changed and replaced me and didn't think twice about it. I know the scared little girl back in elementary school, her first day, stuttering and freaking out, the one who was bound to sit alone and have no friends. I'm the one who saved you from that and you never thanked me. I was the one who approached you and said 'hey, you're different. That's cool, you wanna sit with me and my friends at lunch?' I was seven, you left me right before I turned fourteen. You destroyed everything I had ever thought was friendship. Replaced me with someone who hated the person I love and trust the most, My best friend from even before we had met, but you didn't care. And all I want is for you to stop crossing my mind, you destroyed me...