She (Camren)

Part Two

Camila seems unsettled and Lauren hates that it bothers her so much.

She's not been the same since Lauren woke up to her talking to her mom on the phone at one in the morning. She leaves the room when Lauren arrives from class or she shoves earphones in and disappears into a world of her own. Her face is always downturned unless she's with her friends and Lauren wonders if she intruded too much by asking her if she was okay. She wonders if she overstepped assuming that something might be wrong.

It really doesn't help that Camila has come back to their room late and drunk almost every night for the past week and a half. Sometimes she lets Lauren help her but other times she just shrugs her off and changes out of her jeans to fall into bed. The times when she does let her help are the times when she's too far gone to care.

It happens more frequently than not. Lauren hates that Dinah and Normani just dump her in her room and hope for the best. She hates that Camila only comes back on her own when she's had enough to drink that it's dangerous.

There's only one night that really scares her.

It's about two and a half weeks after the phone call and Lauren watches her quietly as she takes herself to the bathroom. She hears the toilet flush and the faucet start to run. She waits for Camila to reemerge for a while but she doesn't. She expects for the shower to turn on, because Camila's done that before, but it doesn't. It isn't until she hears a crash and a thud that she panics. She rushes for the bathroom door and calls Camila's name over and over again. She decides she doesn't care what happens when Camila doesn't respond. She opens the door and finds Camila sprawled out on the bathroom floor.

"Camila," Lauren says, approaching her carefully. There's a dumb smile on her face and Lauren kneels down beside her before checking her over. "I heard a crash."

Camila chuckles. "I slipped."

Lauren pushes her hair from her eyes because it's habit at this point. It's the only thing she feels comfortable enough to do. "You should be more careful."

Camila gives her a look. "We can't all be as sensible and put together as you."

Lauren ignores the comment and reminds herself that drunk people say things they don't mean. "You're going to hurt yourself."

Camila starts chuckling and throws her arms out dramatically. Lauren catches them as Camila almost hits her with a stray palm. "I drink to numb the pain!" she hollers and only laughs harder when Lauren presses a hand to her mouth. "You're so serious!"

"You need to go to bed," Lauren tells her, panicked and quiet. She's scared because tonight isn't like other nights where Camila grumps around until she falls asleep. Lauren knows there's something wrong. "You need to sleep it off."

Camila's head rolls as she turns to her with a sudden look of anguish. "But I'll dream about them."

Lauren frowns in confusion and starts to tidy all the things Camila's knocked over to avoid the discomfort she feels. "Who? Your boyfriend?"

Camila shakes her head and swallows dryly. Her jaw quivers when Lauren watches her. "My dad and my little sister, Sofia," she whispers. "They died four years ago today."

Lauren stops fussing and can't think of anything else to do than reach up and push the hair from Camila's eyes again. She hates how fucking brown they are when she's like this.

"I miss them, Lauren," she whispers softly. She nods her head and her eyes are glassier from more than alcohol. "I miss my mom, too. She—she disappeared. Changed. Broke. I don't know. I don't know. She drinks a lot, too."