Life Lost and Found

11: The Yellow Telephone

Monday, July 7
Day Twenty-Four

Madeline poked at the phone. "Ha, ha, ha," she said menacingly as she mashed random buttons. She pressed her palm into her face, muffling and slurring her voice. "Where's your force field now, huh? Got nothin' now." She mashed harder. "You got nothin' because you know I'm never going to call him. That's why." She sighed. "I got nothin'. Because I am an epic loser. L-O-S-E-R." She spelled it with the alphanumeric keys. "Maybe it's for the best. Maybe he—WAAAGH!"

The phone suddenly shrieked out a deafening trill. Apparently her mashing of keys had set the ringer volume to maximum. She jumped so hard that she fell right off her chair.

It was officially time to get a new chair. This one was clearly too unstable. It was a danger to health and safety.

She scrambled back to the counter and yanked the receiver off the cradle. Her words were a quick jumble. "Hello, this is the Basket. Holly's. Holly's Flower Basket. How can I help me? You." Facepalm.

She heard a familiar laugh on the other end. "Hiya, darling!"

Holy crap. "Sydney?"

"Hey, Maddy! You sound like someone just caught you necking with the pizza boy next door. Everything okay?"

Madeline blushed. Necking had, in fact, been on her mind lately, but not with that particular boy. "Oh, yeah, I mean, totally. It's fine. I'm fine. Are you fine?" She gripped her throat with a clawed fist, threatening to strangle herself here and now if she didn't get it together. "How are you doing?"

"I've been better, actually. That's what I'm calling about. Remember back when I told you I couldn't offer you a job because I was obliged to let my good-for-nothing niece keep it?"

Madeline looked suspiciously at the phone. Down, false hope, down! Back in your cage! "Yes."

"I don't want to trouble you with the details. Oooh, it just makes me madder than a rain-drenched cat even thinking about it!"

Madeline was drawing on a Post-It. A stick figure was beating up another stick figure with a steel pipe. "Um, okay. Cats."

"None of that's important, though. Point is, I'm calling to offer you a job."

Madeline's heart stopped.

"Maddy? You still there?"

"Yes. I'm still here. I just—I have these comprehension problems. Sometimes I hear things wrong. What did you say?"

"I said I want to give you the job. Comes with a place to live too. Interested?"

It didn't take a tangled phone cord or a dangerous chair to bring her to the floor this time. She just sort of—collapsed.

"Madeline? Hello?"

Her hand moved to the receiver and robotically placed it against her ear. "I'm sorry, there was a thing involving gravity," she intoned. "You want to give me a job in Eugene."

"If you're willing and able, hon."

Madeline had no memory of ingesting hallucinogenic mushrooms or other mind-altering chemicals or substances, which meant this was probably real, and that a response would be appropriate. "Yes," she stated. "I can do that."

"That's my girl. Good choice. It looks like I can pay you..." Sydney casually rattled off a number, causing Madeline's heart to stop for a second time. In addition to a cordless phone and a new chair, it was time to equip the shop with a defibrillator as well.