I look around the parking lot to find my husband smiling and waving as I approach his truck. Even through the hard and terrifying day spent in my head at work, I also seem to feel a little safer when I see him. I climb into his truck and he leans over and gives me a gentle peck on the head. The ride home was filled of the normal "how was work?" and me saying it was fine even if i felt like any moment i could just die and be at complete peace.
He chatters on about events at his job as i light another cigarette and gaze out the window, nodding my head frequently so he thinks i'm listening to him. He asks me questions and i shrug most of them off. My mind begins to fade again until he grabs my hand. "Are you sure you are ok?" he ask looking out the corner of his eyes. Anger boils inside of me as i roughly say yes, trying to fight back tears. He keeps quiet the rest of the way home.
We pull into our drive way and i quickly get out of his truck and rush upstairs and inside the house. I begin to cook as he kisses my cheeks and goes to take a shower. All my bottled up emotions start to come out and i cup my hands over my mouth and try to hold in the sound of crying and whimpering that is at the edge of my throat trying to escape.
I hear the bathroom door begin to opening, he is finished with his shower. I quickly dry my eyes and rush to fix him a plate of what ever it was that i was making. I place his plate on his side of the couch and fix him a drink. A gentle kiss on his head and a long excuse of, i'm not hungry, i had a long lunch, I'll eat something later, and on and on lie just so i can go be alone.
He buys my story, like always, and i head to the bathroom. I run my water and lock the bathroom door. I slowly take my clothes off and stand up straight looking into the mirror at myself. Fat arms, Pudgy stomach, stretch marks that wrap around my whole body, I'm completely disgusted with myself. I begin to tear up and punch the wall. My hand throbs as a small amount of blood trickles down my hand.
YOU ARE READING
A Day with Anxiety
Short StoryEver had an anxiety attack before? Have you ever wonder what the "big deal" was with an anxiety attack? Take a walk in the shoes, of yours truly, as a regular day becomes a struggle between reality and emotions. Watch the time tick by and feel for y...
