I walk quickly to the punch clock checking each door and hallway that I pass. I'm alone, for now. "Ding-ding." I punch my time card and walk to my office searching through my purse, the abyss, to find my office door keys. I unlock the door and turn the lights on. The stench of paper dust and coffee surrounds me as i set my things on my desk. I head to the kitchen.
As I pass through the main hall I once again check down ever hall and open door to be sure I'm alone. I reach the blacked out kitchen and switch on the lights. I take a glass out of the cabinet and pull out my tumbler and lid. I fill it with water and as I watch the water slowly pour into my glass, my mind fades to the imaginary man in my home.
"Jangle-jangle." I snap back and realize someone else is coming in the front door. I watch in fear of who it might be then fling my head back down to my cup when I realize its just a coworker. "Gulp." I swallow a mouth full of cold water as shivers run down my spine. I quickly walk back to my office, head down looking at the ground. I find its easier to avoid conversation this way.
I sit at my desk and stare at the mountains of paper work that I will have to do today. I calculate in my mind about how long it will take to do it all. Worry washes over me as I gaze upon my stack of emergency paper work that must be done today. I begin to feel overwhelmed when, "chomp". A small hint of blood feels my mouth. I wipe my lips with a napkin and spit blood from my cheek. I pull out my mirror. Grunting as I realize I bit a hole in my cheek once again. I spit out the blood, pop a stick of gum in my mouth and begin on my work.
"Ding-dong." The back door rings. I quickly get up and peak my head around the corner to the glass back door. It's another coworker. I quickly open the door and return to my desk. I play some music on my computer, put my head phones in and get back to work.
I check my papers as my head moves back and forth to the beat of the music. The shuffle and chit-chat of people coming and going out of my office, visiting and laughing with coworkers, fills the air around me. I try to block the sound as I sort through my papers. "Chit-chat, mumble mumble, chit-chat, mumble mumble." I stop, shut my eyes tightly and fight back tears. I can't think of what i'm doing and I notice I have now checked the same stack of papers three times.
YOU ARE READING
A Day with Anxiety
Storie breviEver had an anxiety attack before? Have you ever wonder what the "big deal" was with an anxiety attack? Take a walk in the shoes, of yours truly, as a regular day becomes a struggle between reality and emotions. Watch the time tick by and feel for y...
