Trouble Is A Friend

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
"Ishita, waise sahi mein tum acchi lag rahi ho, I hope you retain this style"
His words took her by surprise. True, lately he has been blatant of his appreciation of her, even if he hasn't always been very vocal about it or if he has it's mostly been to take digs at her, but the gobsmacked look he acquires every time that she dresses up cannot be a lie.
She is thankful for the moment that she decided to close her eyes and relax a while ago. She is not sure how to respond to his comment that she was not expecting from him, not after the events of the night and her mixed up feelings wrecking havoc on her mind and heart.
Lately she finds they are sinking into a relationship, Bala jiju was right that night, something tentative and new has crept up between them - she doesn't yet understand completely what it is neither is she sure where he stands regarding the same. Sure, they now share a good rapport, have developed camaraderie of sorts but their relationship cannot be deemed as entirely platonic. They may not acknowledge it or admit to it but she knows there is a healthy level of attraction between them. His proximity of any sorts affects her and he definitely has admitted to checking her out.
Unwittingly she recalls the day she had tried on that green dress and their conversation. She had had no idea he noticed her so very precisely. He had never made it obvious nor were there any hints regarding the same, in fact prior to that moment all he revealed to her was she was a nuisance in his opinion, one whose mere presence he could not tolerate. However, that day he had casually stated he notices her closely, enough for him to pick out a dress that fitted her perfectly. His callous admittance had shocked her then and she had been mildly disturbed to say the least not to mention angry and snubbed because he called her fat.
It was while she was trying out the blue dress, the one he picked for her the night they stayed locked inside their home by their family; it hit her - it was a perfect fit. His attention was precise and his choice fit her like a glove.  She remembers standing still for a while once she saw how the dress was a perfect fit. He had kept yelling at her, asking her is she ready but the words would not come to her then.  Her hair and make-up had been her first priorities that night especially since she opted to curl up. The dress was the last thing on the list, but she felt stumped once it was on.
It had been years since she was so ardently noticed, known (admired?). Post Subu she had felt this for the first time. Her boyfriend used to gift her things too- ones she would wear and that night it was something that her husband got for her - a gift of his own volition too. She could not help but recall the times she had dressed up for the man she once loved - he had said once he got her those dresses or jewelry because he wanted her to wear it. Things sometimes made him think of her upon noticing them, made him visualize her adorning them and he could not wait to see how she looked wearing them for real - his dream versus the reality.
Her husband had acted like a partner - a man in a relationship with a woman he is attracted to, it dawned upon her. Had the gift been just a casual purchase it would not have been this perfect for her - he had her in mind when he bought it.
It finally sunk in that day - the meaning of his callous statements. 
She had forgotten the way it felt for so long now - how it feels to be the object of someone' desire that it had her stupefied. Sure, she had dressed up on numerous occasions post her break-up, especially when a prospective groom was to meet her- but her beauty and all other qualities were laid aside the moment he learned of her infertility.
She felt objectified each time it happened as she also felt the reject stamp that she received repeatedly.  A woman might be appreciated for her beauty but if she is barren, she was discarded as a useless commodity.
She had accepted no man would ever desire her and so had given up any feminine pursuits. So it was an earth shattering realization to her then, that her husband might find her attractive, desire her at some level.
He truly was the last man she had in mind for this situation.
She was not at all prepared to face what it meant that day; somehow, though she had composed herself. The skeptic in her chose to rescue her by making her think - his judgment might have been a lucky guess or he might have got a dress a size bigger for her just to mock her.
She remembers how stunned he had been on noticing her that night or for the matter the night of the sangeet ceremony. Her intent was revenge that night - he had affronted her by saying she looks like his mother and she wanted to shut him up for good.  When she achieved her goal, she had mentally patted herself and danced to have knocked the socks off her husband without as much as a word from her end.
So tonight his offhand remark about her look and his request... or may be wish she dress up like this was something she definitely was not prepared for. The tone assured her it was not a jibe, and she is not ready for what it means. However, her heart definitely skipped a beat upon hearing the statement.
It occurs to her, he is silent. He could have assumed she is asleep to stay mum, but why is the car not moving then? How did she not realize it? The car is stationary.
She is about to open her eyes and ask him when she feels a caress. With the lightest of touches, he was brushing aside a lock of her hair as his fingers traced the path from her forehead towards her cheek to tuck it behind her ear.
She finds her heart hammering loudly in her chest and is afraid he might hear it thundering.
She feels his gaze upon her even with her eyes shut which has her palms sweaty.
The loud sound of the thunder startles them.
She jumps in her seat while he too looks just as surprised. For a moment, she looks up at the sky and is about to speak up when she notices him, he too is looking outside but his position - the way he is seated, he must have been facing her... all this time (?) since his back is to the door.
A heavy storm is raging in no time.
"Raman..."
"Ha..." he finally looks at her.
"Uh... woh gaadi kyun roki hai aapne?"
She can tell he was not expecting the question from his expressions,
"Woh... woh.. actually gaadi kharab ho gayi."
"Kya hua?"
"Mujhe kya pata? Main mechanic hoon kya koi? Bewakoof."
"Arre aap aisa kyun bol rahe hai? Maine aisa kya poocha? Aur agar gaadi kharab hai to aapne kissi ko phone kiya?"
"Meri maa kar raha hoon."
He took out his phone and was about to call Mihir when he noticed there were no bars on it.
"Signal nahi hai shit! Tumhare phone dekho."
She took her phone out of her purse and replied
"Mere phone main bhi nahi hai. Ab kya karenge Raman?"
"Soochne do."
He rested his head on his seat and closed his eyes taking a deep breath.
He had to figure a way out of this mess, darn why did he have to say that the car broke down?  What else could he have done? The excuse came naturally to him, he could not tell her he stopped the car and parked it just to admire her. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful as she slept, it stole his breath away. He wanted to spend some more time with her tonight; he was unwilling for this ...this... date of theirs to end. Once home he knew they would sink into their routine and he wanted to have these moments before that would happen these stolen moments of bliss - that were only his.
Every time so far he has admired her, the moments have ended almost instantaneously or he has been forced to end them, unprepared as he was to feel this fierce attraction ever again for any woman, least of all her, Ishita his wife.
Initially he felt he was losing his mind when he realized the attraction he felt for her, lately though taming it down has been a war for him. The woman would launch a tirade against him if she so much as picked up a hunch of his thoughts and he certainly is not prepared for it.
To endure the torture silently is painful as it is, to be told off for it and by his wife no less, no he cannot take it.
A woman he loved in the past has made a mockery of him, and Ishita... he knows she is not like Shagun but he will not be able to take her jibes regarding this attraction. It would be even worse if she pities him though owing to this newly developed friendship they have.  Admiring her from a distance silently is the best option.
He is still lost in his thoughts when he feels her touch his arm and instantly almost recoils from her touch.
"Raman... Sorry."
He sees the rejection on her face, he had not meant to react the way he did upon her touch, it just happened. Her most casual touch burns him and in this proximity, with his current state of mind, he would not be able to hold back. But if he proceeds, he isn't sure what would be the reception from her end and that scares him.
"No its ok... main bas... achanak tha isliye main chauk gaya zara sa."
"Oh... kuch socha phir aapne?"
"Meri kuch samaj nahi aa raha Ishita."
"Par hum aise hi nahi baithe reh sakte na poori raat car mein."
"Kaash reh pate.."
"Kuch kaha aapne?"
"Nahi... nahi toh."
Suddenly he notices her spring up in her seat,
"Kya hua?"
"Raman wahaan dekhiye..."
He follows the direction where she is pointing right behind him
"Kya dekhoon?"
"Raman wahaan ek park hai."
"Park?"
"Ha."
"Wow... Toh tumhe duniya ka aathva ajooba mil gaya! Ek park mil gaya baarish main, Guinness book waalon ko phone karna hai ya mail se who log kaam chala lenge?"
"Uh huh... aap bhi na Raman, kabhi apne one-liners se baaz nahi aayenge kya?"
"Ab tum kaam hi aise karti ho toh main kya kar sakta hoon? Tum apni aadat se majboor ho, main apni."
She makes a face at that, but continues.
"Ha ha, bahut funny tha, ab aap sunenge meri baat?"
"Lecture dene wali ho park ki saaf safai par aur ek acche nagrik ke farz par toh nahi. Main park mein kaam karnewala maali nahi hoon."
"Hamesha apni hi bolenge ya meri bhi sunenge?"
"Bolo."
"Park hai toh shayad wahaan koi watchman ho, koi aas paas jo shayad hamari help kar de?"
He was trapped in his own brilliant plan now, great!  If he agrees to this she might learn of this lie, if he doesn't she might suspect him still. Suddenly he gets an idea - a midway to avert the crisis.
"Mujhe nahi lagta itni baarish main wahaan koi hoga aur waise bhi meri car main umbrella nahi hai toh wahaan jaake bheegne ka koi matlab nahi, baarish bandh hone do, network milte hi main Mihir ko call kar doonga help bhejne ke liye."
"Par baarish kitne time aur giregi kisse pata? Raman ... raat ke do bajne wale hai. Hum ghar kab pahuchenge?"
"Toh kya hua agar do baj rahe hai? Tum apne pati ke saath ho koi paraya mard nahi main jo tum itna tension le rahi ho."
"Mujhe pata hai baba, lekin ghar bhi toh jaana hai na, subah school hai Ruhi ki. Aapko bhi toh office jaana hoga."
"Koi farak nahi padta baithte hai, main boss hoon office main aur Ruhi ko mummy taiyyar kar degi aisa hoga toh."
She gets restless after a while of waiting, he decides to take a catnap when he hears the sound of the car door opening and saw her stepping out into the rain.
"Ishita kya kar rahi ho?"
"Main bore ho rahi hoon wait karke aapko baithna hai car main to baithiye main dekhti hoon park main help."
She is crossing the road before he can stop her,
"Bewakoof aurat!"
Begrudgingly he follows her to the park and notices the clothes clinging to her figure. For a moment he finds his breath knocked off, but shakes his head as he realizes why they are standing here, drenched in the rain in the first place.
"Paagal ho kya tum? Baarish kitni hai dikh nahi raha kya tumhe? Kya zaroorat  thi utarne ki gaadi se?"
"Toh aur kya karti aap ko neend aa gayi thi aur main ghar jaana chahti hoon."
"Ek number ki bewakoof ho tum kasam se!"
"Thik hai! Toh aapko toh nahi kaha tha na mere peeche aane? Jab dekho tab kud kud karte rehte hai, buddhe khadoos!"
"Tumne mujhe Buddha khadoos kaha? Tumhe main Buddha lagta hoon?"
"Harkatein toh buddho jaisi hi hai aapki."
"Bahut hua Ishita ha yeh doosri baar hai jo tum yeh bak rahi ho."
"Sach suna bura lag raha hai Mr. Raavan Kumar? Oops buddhe Raavan kumar?"
She laughs at his obvious anger.
"Ab dikhata hoon tumhe Buddha kaun hai." He breaks into a run to close the distance between them and she catches onto his intent. Immediately she too is running towards the playground.
He chases after her all the while, as she keeps on changing her course. From the slide she makes way towards the see-saw then towards the sand-bar and later is headed towards the garden at the opposite end when he finally catches up to her and holds her by the waist from behind.
"Toh bolo kaun Buddha hai ab?"
"Chhodiye na Raman."
"Pehle bolo main Buddha nahi aur sorry kaho, phir chhodonga."
"Achha baba aap buddhe nahi ho, bas! I am sorry."
"Aaya na ab ooth pahad ke neeche."
He releases her then and she turns around intending to push him, when he grabs hold of her hands just in time and cages her in by holding her arms behind her back.
"Kya laga tha tumhe main koi nausikhiya hoon jo tum mujhe girene ki soochogi aur main gir jaaonga?"
"Uhhh, Raman dard ho raha hai. Ow I am sorry mere haath chhooda na please."
He is laughing at her when it strikes him how very close they are standing, their faces are a mere inch apart and their breaths are kissing, she is in his arms and the fight drains from him as his grip on her slackens.
The same realization dawning upon her has her rooted to the spot as well.
He is caught up between the desire to kiss her senseless and the fear of her rejection when suddenly a light flashes on them.
"Kay chal raha hai yo?"
They shield their eyes with their hands, and turn towards the source of the voice.
"Kaun?" he asks as he immediately grabs his wife' hand and pushes her behind him, in case there is a threat to them at this lonely hour in this deserted place.
"Tera tau!"
"Bakwaas bandh kar!" he yells and finds the person closing in on them.
It is when another person yells from behind and the lights fall upon the first speaker that he notices the uniform.
"Sharma koi hai ke wahaan pe?"
"Ha sirjee laila majnu ishaq lada rahe hai."
"Ae tameez se baat kar." He growls.
"Warna kay kar lega bol romeo ki aulad?"
The other person reaches them then and he is about to speak when Ishita cuts in,
"Sir, please hamari gaadi kharab ho gayi hai aur main aur mere pati maddad dhoondh rahe hai."
"Pati? Behna hum sab jaante hai yeh pati patni wala romance aur gaadi kharab honewali story kuch naya bolo. "
"Tum chup nahi reh sakti? Main baat kar raha hoon na?"
"Gussa mat kijiye Raman." She lowers her voice so that only he can hear her,
"Police se pange lene ka kya matlab hai, shaant rahiye please. Yeh log hamari help kar sakte hai."
"Kya gussur pussur chal rahi hai?"
He collects himself then and calmly replies,
"Meri biwi ne kaha na hamari gaadi bandh ho gayi hum yahaan help dhoondh rahe hain."
"Accha woh safed gaadi thari hai kay?"
"Ha."
"Theek hai, chalo hamare saath."
They follow the police officers quietly.  He hopes they offer them a lift but of course, the words he hears next serve to end his wishful thinking. He immediately tenses upon hearing the words and mentally slaps himself for this blunder.
"Sharma check kar toh gaadi ne. pata toh chale kya gadbad hai." The senior officer orders.
The junior officer declares his death verdict when he yells,
"Sirjee gaadi main toh koi gadbad na hai, toh laila majnu ab kya bolna hai tum  logon ka?"
Ishita looks at him dumbstruck and he finds himself cornered when the senior officer yells.
"Dal de in dono ko andar Sharma."
He snaps out of his spell then when the officer heads towards them,
"Ek minute, dekhiye main... Main apni wife ke saath time bitane ke liye use jhooth bol raha tha. Hamari nayi nayi shaadi hui hai aur humme time nahi milta jyada. Aap sach maaniye yeh meri wife hai and yeh sab sirf ek mazak tha uske saath."
"Wahaan toh badi garmi dikha riya tha hero, ab kya hua huh? Nani yaad aa gayi?"
The policemen laugh, any other time and he would have shown them who they are dealing with but with his wife he keeps his calm somehow.
"Dekho sau do sau jitna chahiye bolo aur hume jaane do."
"Ab aaya na line pe hero. Aur sau do sau main toh ab ek wakht ki tarkari bhi na aave. Itne main kya hoga itni badi gaadi hai, suit boot pehenya hai... Chal do hazaar toh kam se kam nikaal."
Controlling his anger he hands over the cash to the man who walked in on them first and they are just about to get in the car when he hears him speak,
"Laundiya achhi hai."
He snaps and punches the man who dared speak of his wife in such a foul way.
"Pakkad saalene."
He is arrested along with his wife in a manner of moments. The police stuff them in the back of their van and the ride is filled with silence between them, the only people communicating are the officers. The one he hit complaining of a swelling on his cheek and abusing him.
They are in the police station when she finally speaks.
"Kya zaroorat thi aapko uspe haath uthane ki?"
"Toh kya main uski bakwaas sunta?
"Par..."
"Par var chup karo Pathak aa raha hoga Mihir ke saath, phone pe baat hui na tumhari. Ghar pe yeh sab batane ki zaroorat nahi."
"Aap kyun nahi samajte har baat main gussa accha nahi hota."
"Meri maa lecture bandh karo aur itna sun lo woh policewala toh kya koi bhi hota main yahi karta aur yahi karoonga. Meri biwi ho tum aur tumhare baare main main kissi se bhi koi bakwaas nahi sunnewala hoon."
She falls silent in the face of his protectiveness. She knows her husband acted out of anger only because she was insulted and though she may advice him otherwise, his anger somehow fills her with a sense of pride. He cares for her so much! This man she wonders if she will ever understand him.
Soon after Pathak and Mihir arrive and with the formalities out of the way, they are free.
Mihir arranges for their car to be picked up and with it morning now, the group stop for a quick breakfast at a nearby restaurant.  Since it was early in the morning the only thing available were aloo paranthas that were promptly ordered. Raman had been famished, this had been the longest he went hungry.
Mihir and Neil saw the couple was relatively quiet but put it down to the stress they endured in the past couple of hours. Mihir was sitting beside Ishita on the table while Raman sat across her besides Pathak, finally unable to go on anymore Mihir asked the question he had been dying to since he was woken up in the middle of the night by Ishita' call.
"Bhai maine us policewaale ki shakal dekhi, kya mooh sooj gaya hai. Kya punch maara hai aapne! Lekin yeh toh boliye hua kya tha? Aap dono arrest kyun hue?"
Pathak and Mihir had learned only the edited version of the events that the police officers said, which was that they had caught the couple in a park indulging in indecent acts and upon being stopped Raman had hit one of them. Both the men knew Raman enough to know that would not be the case - he would never compromise Ishita in such a manner.
Raman narrated the events of the night barring their little moments and the chase he made in the park and completely omitting the truth that the car was never broken down.
Ishita chose to remain silent and let her husband do the talking, the fact that Raman had lied about the car had shocked her too initially, and she wonders if his reply to those officers was the truth - he wanted to spend the time with her. The question has been on her mind since last night, but she is too scared to ask him - fearing he may laugh and make fun of her. If he had said as much, she would have gladly complied, she wonders if he too is scared of what is happening between them to gather courage and speak up.
The moment they had almost kissed is seared into her memory now, she knows that it is not a one-way street this magnetism between them.
"Bhai par park main jaake kya faayda hota? Aap mujhe phone kar dete."
"Arre beta network nahi tha aur yeh teri bhabhi hai na Einstein ki bhatiji, iska brilliant idea tha park main jaana. Help dhoondthe hai Raman." He imitated her accurately saying the last words.
The men laughed as Raman pulled his wife' leg who got irritated and with one look silenced both of them.
"Toh kya karti main Mihir, yeh toh godhe bech ke so gaye the mujhe bore ho raha tha aur bhook bhi lagi thi"
"Madam din bhar ka thaka aadmi thodi neend nahi chahega kya? Sab dentists ke jaise free toh nahi hote na."
"Free? Aapko lagta hai main free hoti hoon? Subah se ghar main kaam karo, ruhi ko sambhalo, ghar ke liye saaman lao, clinic sambhalo, mujhe apne liye bhi time nahi milta. Aap kam se kam ghar aake pair phelake tv toh dekh sakte hai, apni stupid cricket matches ko dekhke chillate toh rehte hai. Main toh ek gaana tak shanti se nahi sun sakti."
"Bhabhi sahi keh rahi hai Bhai." Mihir piped in.
"Oye  bada aaya bhabhi ka chamcha, jyada side mat le yeh mat samajh tera yeh haal nahi honewala. Yeh jo mera haal tu abhi dekh raha hai na teri life ka future hai beta. Meri trailer dekhke samajh tera picture kaisa hoga woh mini Madrasan kuch kam nahi isse, balke woh toh tujhse khaana banwaegi aur phir bartan bhi dhone de degi. Aur tu kya has raha hai Pathak? Jyada daant mat dikha Punjabi ho ya Madrasi biwi, biwi hoti hai aur shaadi ke baad hum mardon ka haal behaal hi hota hai. Tera bhi number laga degi woh Trisha Tandon from London. Main toh kehta hoon abhi bhi time hai bhaag jao tum dono bachh sakte ho."
"Kya patti padha rahe hai aap in dono ko? Meri behan aur Trisha aise nahi aur waise bhi aapka jo haal hai na uske liye aap hi jimmedar hai khadoos kahiin ke. Biwi waise hi behave karti hai jaise Pati use behave karne par majboor karta hai. Shikhna chahiye na toh aapko in dono se dekhiye kitne gentlemen tarike se Mihika aur Trisha se baat karte hai, kitne sweet hai dono aap jaise nahi kadwa karela."
Mihir had witnessed this scenario many times before but it never failed to entertain him and this time even Pathak got a front row seat to the live entertainment he had heard loads about. They looked at each other and could clearly see the amusement they felt. In all the time that they knew Raman, no one dared say a word to the man they respected like an elder brother - especially about his attitude out of his fear, figures his wife could dare do the unthinkable. Not to mention the praise they got from the woman both respected as their bhabhi made them feel proud.
"Khadoos?"  He spoke the word slowly, somehow he figured she purposely didn't say the word she always added in front of it - Buddha and that angered him.
Seriously, he is only two years older to her, seeing the expressions on his face - Mihir and Pathak chose to get up, they understood now this was dangerous territory. Leaving behind a woman like that might be cowardly but they knew she was more than a match for the man they both secretly feared. So they made the excuse of washing their hands and using the restroom before they hit the road again to take their leave.
"Kya khadoos , khadoos laga rakha hai tumne huh?"
"Jo sach hai so hai, waise bhi log aapko bolte nahi iska matlab yeh nahi ki unhe  aisa lagta nahi, bas himmat nahi sab main."
"Jo tumme hai?"
"Aap jaise aadmi se shaadi ki maine, abhi bhi meri himmat par aapko shaq hai? Khud hi toh mujhe Jhansi ki rani bulate hai na aap?" she coyly said.
Just then, he gulped down a chilli in his parantha and started coughing, she offered him water and while he was drinking it down as fast as he could he heard her laughing.
"Kya paagalpan hai yeh? Hasnewali kaunsi baat hai mere mirch khaane pe?"
She controlled her laughter somehow to reply to him,
"Main aap par nahi has rahi mera abhi dhyan gaya?"
"Kiss baat par apni chhote se dimaage par? Tab toh tumhe rona chahiye hasnewali koi baat hi nahi issme."
"Offo, Raman hotel ka naam dekhiye."
He saw the name of the hotel at last which they both had missed upon arrival caught up in their thoughts.
"Hotel Decent? Toh isme hasne jaisa kya hai?"
"Hamari situation aur yeh naam... Raman aap ko yaad nahi aa raha?"
"Kya baake ja rahi ho?"
"Jab we met! Shahid aur Kareena ki night in hotel decent aur wahaan police ka aana. Yeh naam aur hamara recent brush up police ke saath."
"Ajeeb ho yaar tum, tumhe kissi bhi baat pe hassi aa sakti hai?"
"Waise toh nahi aati par kya kare yeh bas mujhe hasaa gaya. Agar hum bhaag sake hote Shahid Kareena ki tarah to kam se kam abhi Ruhi ke saath toh hote."
"Shahid Kareena kab bhaage us movie main?"
"Police se! Shahid bolta hai na... agli baar batonga! Mera favorite scene hai woh us move mein."
He smiles remembering the scene, and is struck for a minute, because he happens to like that scene the most too in the movie.
"Waise hum bhi toh almost bhaag gaye the."
"Kab?"
"Kal raat nahi par shaadi karne, yaad nahi court gaye the us aadmi ne bola tha hum bhaag ke shaadi karne ki umar main nahi."
She laughs at the memory of the day and somehow they start chatting about the crazy time they had during their wedding, he does not realize when he starts telling her how the Kashi yatra ritual had been something so bizarre and funny to them - him and his family. He recounts how he had been confused about the whole thing as she continues laughing at him, interrupting him with questions in between.
Unknown to them two of their accomplices watch the scene with awe from a distance, smiles lighting up their faces.
"They are amazing together hai na Pathak?"
"Sach main, abhi jhagad rahe the aur ab dekho, lagta hi nahi ke thodi der pehle yahaan world war ki taiyyari thi. Main Raman bhai ke liye bahut khush hoon Mihir. He deserves this happiness."
"Yes, they both do."
With heavy hearts, they interrupt the duo after a few minutes and an hour later, the couple is sound asleep in their room exhausted from the events of the night.
The families are curious about their whereabouts for the night, while the elders are happy that Raman Ishita are finding their way around in this marriage, Simi quietly seethes in the corner.
A couple of hours later Mihir learns Raman' car had no issues to begin with, he smirks at the news and shares it with his fianc who he was having lunch with as they pray for love and happiness for the two people they look up to the most in this world.

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