when it firt seeped in,
you brushed it off.
"i'm just sad,
nothing is wrong."
you always said that,
until finally one dayit hit.
you realized only then,
you felt horrible and wanted
to die.
after living miserably
for a while,
you discovered something,
that made you feel alive.
it was so surreal ,
it almost felt untrue.
but with this
new found 'feeling'
you got colder.
you got clever.
but you felt,
amature.
you knew what you were doing,
but you thought you didnt know why.
when it first seeped in,
you knew what it was.
you knew why.
it was because,
you wanted to die.
