Forget Me Not (Draco/Hermione)

Chapter Two- Survivor's Guilt

The days after the Battle of Hogwarts were a strange blend of celebration and mourning. As the country, if not the Wizarding World, erupted into mad cheer, the bodies of the fallen were silently returned back to their homes and families. Mad parties blossomed whilst the dead were laid to rest in small, solemn ceremonies. Hermione did not know how they managed to survive them early days. Harry, especially. 

Though he had rid the world of the evil that had been Lord Voldemort, the guilt of the fallen still weighed heavily on his shoulders. Fred's funeral had been the hardest to date. As his simple, wooden coffin was laid to rest in a nearby churchyard, Mrs Weasley physically broke down, her tear-stained face haunting Hermione's dreams since. George's grief was worse. It was like something in him had died. Though his remaining ear strained hard enough, the familiar echo of his twin's footsteps never reached it. The day after the funeral, he apparated back to the shop and did not return for most of the holiday.

Tonks and Lupin's funeral had been held by Tonk's mother only hours after the Battle and so thankfully, Harry did not have to be included with that. Andromeda had already buried her husband barely months before and wanted a private burial for just her and the little orphaned baby boy, Teddy. The Weasleys however, with her permission, held a joint wake after Fred's funeral in their garden. The day had been glorious and bright and most of the wizards and witches were sweating profusely underneath their heavy mourning robes. After Harry had read out the memorial speech to the mourners, he had vanished in the haze of people.

Hermione however had managed to find him, slumped under an oak tree and watching two gnomes fight over a carrot. She didn't say anything but held his hand and allowed the tears to flow down her cheeks as they did his. Words could not express the muddle of emotion. There was the ectasy of destroying evil and being safe again but then there was the grief, loss and guilt. Had they have done something different would Fred still be alive? Tonks? Lupin? Snape? She knew that Harry felt the same, perhaps stronger than she did as he always had a thing for blaming himself. 

When Kingsley Shacklebolt, the new Minister of Magic, ex-Auror and good friend, had announced that those who fought in the Battle of Hogwarts could apply for a position as Auror without N.E.W.T.s, Harry had jumped at the chance. Before Hermione could even get her head around such an absurd idea (she still was pro-education after all), he was off on Auror training. His infrequent owl messages back to the Weasleys were kind but with little detail. He let slip that part of his training meant fieldwork in Siberia and the last owl they had received looked half frozen by the time it soared into Mrs Weasley's kitchen. 

Ron, like Harry, had been excited at the opportunity of Auror training without the "bloody awful" exams. He too had left at the same time as Harry but instead of Siberia, he moved into the apartment above the joke shop with George. Though this was meant to be a temporary measure, the workload of storing away Fred's belongings as well as helping run the shop meant that he could only visit the family once a week for Sunday lunch.

Hermione's feelings towards Ron were mixed. Though she thought of him often and enjoyed his company, she felt... claustrophobic in their relationship. The minute he apparated through the door, he would have his arm around her waist, his lips on hers. Though the attention was sweet at first, Hermione was beginning to tire of it. No longer did he want to chat or laugh about things. All he wanted to do was kiss, kiss and kiss. Especially over Sunday roast, in front of his entire family. Ronald thought it was romantic. Hermione, who had to live with them for the rest of the week, found it embarrassing.

As her parents remained obliviated and residing in Australia, Mrs Weasley had offered Hermione the chance to live with them. The Weasleys were kind as ever and as time passed, they slowly began to get used to the new arrangement. With Harry and most of her sons away from home, Mrs Weasley took to doting on Hermione, constantly trying to feed her up and embrace her. Hermione hoped that this attention in itself was stemmed from her kindness before the war and not from some notion that Hermione would one day be her daughter-in-law. 

Unlike Harry and Ron, the kind of job Hermione aspired to (a Ministry job) was only available through good N.E.W.Ts. She had not thought of this (or at least not thought seriously enough about it) until a Hogwarts owl arrived from the new Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, offering the opportunity to retake her seventh year. 

At first, Hermione was unsure. Could she cope without the boys? Of course, she'd get so much more work done. And of course, she'd have Ginny to socialise with in class and outside now that they were both in the same year. But would Hogwarts ever be the same again? How could she walk through the familiar corridors again and not remember the death and carnage of the 2nd May? How could she forget the sights of the dead bodies being carried into the Great Hall? And would their ghosts linger? Would they be angry at her for living whilst they did not? The questions swam through her head for a day and a sleepless night before she replied back to McGonagall. Yes, professor, she would attend Hogwarts again for a year and yes, she'd buy all of the equipment she would need.

Whether this was the right decision would become apparent soon, she thought glumly, watching the owl soar away into the distance. She could only hope and pray that she was right.

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Short update sorry and just a filler chapter really. Chaotic time of late due to A-Levels and EPQ! Thanks to all the people who've voted and commented. I wouldn't have bothered uploading this if you hadn't persuaded me to continue :D 

Exciting news as I've managed to win a Beta place at MyHogwarts (I will one day shut up about it) so hopefully I'll be attending Hogwarts at the same time as Hermione :D