an ode to you//joshler

ten: implicit demand for proof

ayy this is the unedited version so it's v v v shitty but we uploaded yyayay?? i know its sucks m8 sorry
-nora

Tyler's POV

I woke up the next morning annoyed. Not particularly at anybody, just annoyed at life. Today my mom came home, but then left again for work so Josh and I would be alone like we usually are. Speaking of Josh, I went to check on him. I went over to his room, knocking on the wooden door  softly.
"You in there?" I called. No answer. He was probably asleep. I twisted the knob, cracking it open. He wasn't there. My heart thumped. Where the hell was he? A bunch of impossible situations fled through my mind, and I even had to go sit down on his bed to calm the paranoia. All of his stuff was still there, so obviously he hadn't left. I grabbed my phone and was just about to call him when I noticed a text he had left that morning.

From: Bestfren
Yo i'm out with Ashley, i'll be back later tonight

I sighed, with relief and anger at myself for being an idiot.

To: Bestfren
Okay, i'll see you then

I turned off my phone, tossing it on his comforter and standing up. I walked over to his closet, grabbing one of his sweatshirts and burying myself in it. It was much too big but it smelled like Josh so I wore it anyways, throwing on a pair of my own jeans. I stumbled tiredly down the stairs, heading into the kitchen to make myself something for breakfast. I ended up just grabbing a Nutrition bar, unwrapping it and stuffing it in my mouth.  I heard a few taps on the window, and turned around to notice the soft rain that had started to fall. I tossed my hood over my head, cracking open the back door and stepping out to feel the cool drops. I heard a crack of thunder, and a bolt of lightning flashed through the gray morning sky. The rain continued on harder, pelting me sharply. I titled my face up to the sky, letting the water hit me to its full extent. I closed my eyes and it washed over my eyelids. It was cold and I shuddered, burying myself deeper in the sweatshirt. I stood for a few more minutes, humming to myself. Then, once I was dripping wet, I stepped back into the kitchen. I grabbed a hand towel from the sink, drying my face and hair with the faded, cheery floral pattern. I then stood, out of things to do. Usually, Josh and I would occupy our time either playing Xbox or walking outside, and he wasn't home right now and I felt no particular need to do either. I sighed, spinning in a slow circle of boredom.
"C'mon Tyler, let's go." I muttered to myself  for no reason whatsoever. I had a bad habit of having conversations with myself. Some of them were in my head, and others were actually out loud, just muttering and mumbling. I shook my head to clear it, and paced over to the living room. I turned on the TV, flicking through random channels. After a few minutes of watching a documentary about vegans, I threw the remote on the ground in agony and texted Josh again. Desperate, I know.

To: Bestfren
Omg when are you coming home, i'm so fucking bored it's not okay.

From: Bestfren
Sorry m8, i'll probably be back around 8:00.

I groaned. That meant I had approximately twelve hours to do nothing with. After a little while of debating with my head, I decided on a nap, because that would waste the most time. I laid down on the couch, switching the documentary for Disney Channel, which let's all admit, we still watch. I fell asleep quickly, considering I've been sleep deprived for the last couple months.

When I woke up it was still storming, the rain coming down harder and faster, clouding the yard from my view. I grabbed a quick lunch, which consisted of water and a piece of salami, which, to be honest, I felt to sick and bored to eat. I choked it down, then sat in the armchair by the window and watched the storm.

I realized I was humming the same tune from before, and chose some words to go along with it.

"Rain down,
and
destroy me."

I sang carefully, my voice hoarse from not speaking for hours.
I then got up, satisfied with my barely there progress, and sat back down at the TV to finish the entire rest of Jessie.

Many hours later, I heard the door crack open, and a laugh, before it slammed again. I got up and ran to the door, a smile lighting up my face. But no sooner, it had dropped. Josh was completely high. His eyes were red and his nose was running. He kept rubbing his head as though it hurt.
"Ty!" He slurred loudly.
"You're glowing!" He exclaimed, and reached out to touch my chest. I rolled my eyes, knowing he was hallucinating.
"Josh." I said firmly, and grabbed his shoulders.
"You're gonna go to bed now, okay?" I explained sarcastically, and led him upstairs. Somehow, even in this drunken state, he was still attractive. I steered him all the way to his room, where he proceeded to giggle and wave at me repeatedly. Then he ran over to the closet, and started stripping, I guess to change into his pajamas. He pulled off his shirt and pants, and my face was flaming, even though i'd seen him naked plenty of times before. He slid on a pair of plaid sweatpants, and flung himself onto the sheets with excitement.
"Come, sleep with me!" He cried. I was now thoroughly embarrassed. Of course he hadn't meant it in that way, he was too stoned to know what he was saying.
"Sorry, gotta pass." I said mockingly, and slammed his door. It was time to get some sleep myself. I ignored the rumbling in my stomach and lied down in my own bed, ready to contemplate the meaning of life for six hours and get no sleep at all.
But remarkably, I did.
Sleep that is.

The next morning was pretty much the exact same thing. I awoke to a text from him, and one from my Mom.

From: Bestfren
Sorry about last night. I went out against, with Patrick idk when I'll be back.

To: Bestfren
Fuck you.

I erased the message and rolled my eyes, sending okay instead.

From: Birth giver
Went to work! I'll be back later! I can pick up some pizza (and wine for me) when I come home if you want! LOL!

To: Birth giver
Okay thanks mom

Then I lied back down and settled in for what would probably be another shitty day. It began to rain again, and I pulled out my crumbled writing notebook and began to trace out some lyrics.

I know you're not a liar
And I know you could set fire
This day
Go ahead and make me look away
Strike me down
I am calling your lightning
Down from your dark hiding place
Go ahead and show me
Your face

That took me all of an hour, and then, antsy and bored, i turned on my radio and stretched. That song Bad Day from like six years ago come on and I sigh, turning it up and grabbing my phone again, texting brendon.

To: Forehead
Come over?

From Forehead
Can't, I'm grounded

I rolled my eyes. That was it, I was killing Josh when he got home.

The rest of the day was spent like the past, rain and empty Xbox games.
When my mom got home, so did Josh, and we all ate, my mom not seeming to notice the unusual awkward silence. After I'd eaten about two slices, I pushed my plate away from me and didn't say a word, just making my way slowly upstairs where I had been just about living for the past twenty four hours. I ignored Josh, and there were silent tears of frustration forming in my eyes. I slammed the door and kicked off my shoes, flicking off my lights aggressively and flopping down into bed without bothering to change. I let the angry tears slide down my cheeks and I fell asleep.