A Week With The Wrong Person

Day 1

Tuesday

My alarm clock rang, and I hopped out of bed. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, packed my bag, and got on the school bus. I could tell today was going to be a good day, but I wasn't sure why. I got to school, and found Erick and Emily.

"Hey guys! So I have a weird story to tell you-"

"Cass, now's not really a good time," Erick said. "Emily's boyfriend just dumped her for some other girl so I have to focus on cheering her up." I hadn't noticed before, but now that I looked at Emily, I saw that tears streaked down her face, and she was wrapped in her brother's arms.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled. Well, since Erick and Emily can't listen, I'll go find Claire. Claire was the know it all. She knew everything about everyone and was not afraid to admit it. I found her by the band room. "Hey Claire! Have time to listen to a story?"

"Oh hey Cass! Sure, I'll listen. It's not like I'm doing anything anyway." She literally was doing nothing, except twirling her curly blond hair around her finger. Her hair was the opposite of my straight brown hair.

"Okay. So yesterday I was at the doctor, you know, for my Anemia, and I saw this girl from school. Alex Brown? And I was wondering if you knew anything about her."

"Okay, that wasn't really a story, it was more of a favor for me. Anyway, that doesn't really matter. Sure, I know Alex. She's the one which the red pixie cut hair and green eyes. She's one of the four openly gay people in our class. In fact, I'm sorta friends with her. You know, cause I sit next to her in History... Anyway, if you want to know if you should date her, you totally could because she's single." I barely had a chance to register what she said, but when I heard the word date I perked up.

"Huh? What? No, no, I definitely don't want to date her, I'm not even lesbian. I was just wondering if she would be a good friend. Not girlfriend." After I shut my mouth, I realized I was rambling, and that I probably sounded like I was making an excuse. My cheeks flared, and I tried to cover them with my hands, but stopped once I realized that Claire was staring at me wide eyed, and that I was just making things worse. Gosh, what's gotten in to me? I am straight, right?

"Uh, sure. Yeah. She's chill."

"Great. Thanks! I mean, uh, sure whatever. Uh gotta go, see you in English." Well that couldn't have gone any worse. Claire probably thinks I'm gay now. Oh well, what could she know?
...

During second hour, I saw the familiar red boy-cut hair, and my heart sped up. No, heart, calm down. This is a girl. I'm not trying to date her, because I'm straight.

"Hey, Alex. You look nice today."

"Thanks. You know, I couldn't stop thinking about you yesterday. And, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask a question." Gulp. What question could Alex possibly want to know the truth of? "What's your deal? Are you straight or what?" Um...

"Why? Do I look gay?" I asked. God, why I am so dumb?

"Well, actually, if you want to know, you look like you could go either way. But, it would be cool to have a friend who's like me." Okay, I want to be her friend, but she only wants to be friends if I'm gay. What should I do?

"Then yes, I'm lesbian." WHAT DID I JUST DO??

"Great! See you at lunch?" She smiled. There was no backing out now.
...

Cass: Hey Erick, I won't be at lunch today, I'm sitting with Alex.

Erick: Ew, the lesbian one?

Cass: Yeah, do you have a problem with that?

Erick: No, I just wanted to know which Alex

Cass: If that was true you wouldn't have said "ew".

Erick: Cass, what did I do wrong?

Cass: Nothing. I have to go, I'm having lunch with ALEX.

And I shut my phone off. What was Erick's problem?

"So, when did you get your first girlfriend?" Alex asked me.

"Oh, um, I've never actually had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, for that matter. But, uh, of course not, right?"

"Yeah, totally. I understand. I broke up with my first girlfriend about a month ago. And I've been single ever since."

Okay, that's cool, but that's not what I need to know. "I have a question, and I hope you don't mind me asking. Why did you look so distressed at the doctor yesterday?"

Instantly, Alex's face dropped. Uh oh. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no, it's fine. I'll tell you, since you were there." She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. "The doctor told me I have a week. A week until I have to get a surgery. The surgery could either save my life... or end it."

"Wow, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry! I had no idea."

"Yeah, well, contrary to what you might think, I don't love going around telling people that I had leukemia. I don't love telling people that I went through excruciating pain for years." Tears were welling up in her eyes. "God, I don't even know why I'm telling you any of this."

"No, it's okay," I reassured her. "I understand. Well, not on that deep of a level, but I've been through it too. I'm Anemic, so I have to get my blood drawn every month. Still, it's not that bad, but I know what it's like to have a medical condition." I took her hand. Gosh, what am I doing?

"Thanks," she sniffed. She rested her head on my shoulder, and tears stained my shirt. I don't know why, but I actually liked it. "I'm glad you care. Yesterday I went for my monthly check up, and they saw an unusual dark spot. They are worried the cancer may have come back. That's why I need the surgery."

"Well, you can count on me to support you."
...

I left lunch, and thoughts of Alex swarmed my head. Why? WHY? I was beginning to get really confused. Did I... like Alex? That can't be it because I'm straight. Straight! So then why was I feeling so confused?

I decided I would do some research, but when I got home, since I still had half the school day left.
...

I couldn't focus in any of my classes. I kept thinking of theoretical situations that seemed more and more realistic by the minute.

When I got home, I dropped my bag on the kitchen table, and flipped open my laptop. I opened up Google search and typed in "how to know if you are gay". I clicked on the first article and read it all the way through. Well now I'm even more confused. I didn't know there were this many labels!

I spent all night reading articles, taking quizzes, and anonymously chatting with experts, but I still felt no closer to knowing the truth. Eventually, I fell asleep on my computer, and dreamed. Hopefully the next day would be better.