She: A Jacob Perez Novel

Chapter 21

Antoinette Perspective //Waking Up:: Next Day

*beep. Beep beep beep*

I was gasping for air and choking because of this tube being down my throat. I quickly snatch it out, but regret it soon after. "Ouch "I wince in pain. My throat feels so dry and sore. I need some water. Or something. I  can hardly speak man.

I look around the big hospital room, consisting of old paintings on the wall, sky blue wallpaper, dull color chairs and regular doctor equipment. I sigh, "I hate hospitals "I mumble, looking over to my side for a glass of water or something. I frown when there wasn't anything there. A lot of balloons and get well soon flowers. I mean a lot! I need some water.

I press the "assistance "button on the bed, hoping a nurse would come right on spot. Like off the movies and shit.

It's so quiet in here. All you could here is the sound of the machine beeping, and God was it annoying. I could hardly sit up. I wonder why. I finally decided to move my arms and hands, figuring out that there was tubes on it too. This can't be happening? I furrow my eyebrows together, frowning. "What the hell "Curse my disgusting rasp voice. I start to snatch them off but the door bust open. I look up,startled a bit.

"Oh, Goodie, your awake. "The doctor smiles. He was a brown skin man, short shaved hair, white straight teeth, deep voice, tall and muscular. He seemed nice.

"I am. Could I get some water? "I ask, clearing my throat a little. He held his smile a little longer and nod. "Jones! "He calls out the door, "a glass of water for Ms.August "he said.

"Now, Ms. August "he looks down at a hand full of papers in his hand and clip board. ."yeah? " He walks towards me with a glum look on his face ."Did you know you were pregnant before you were shot? "He asks me. I was taken back by this question, frowning as I tried to answer him intelligently. I couldn't be pregnant I would have known.

"Pregnant? How could I be? "I stop  for a minute remembering what happened all those nights with Jacob. Yeah, it dawns on me. It might of been a slight chance. "I didn't know "I dumbly reply while looking at him. "You were pregnant Ms.August. I have bad news "he says. Bad news. In hospitals there is always bad news. "What is it? I am going to die? "I nearly panic. "No no.. Your not going to die. But Your baby died when you were shot twice yesterday. "he tells me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think, I only stare. Stare like I was in a stand by or something. My baby died? I didn't even have a chance at even loving it? I didn't get a chance at anything.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Ms. August. "He says. Maybe It's because I'm emotionally or over dramatic, or maybe even these pills that they give me; but I automatically started crying my eyes out. I almost had a child,but then it just up and died on me. I bet it would have been beautiful. I wish I could have seen how amazing he or she would have turned out. If it was a boy I'd call it Jacob Jr, of course, and if it was girl....well I don't know. My grandma always wanted her great grandchildren named after her so maybe I'd call her Mirlena or Ahlena. Weird how both of my grandmother's names were alike. Odd almost. But that won't fucking happen now because she's gone... and I can never get her back. Whatever gender it was. I was carrying a whole other life inside of me.

"Antoinette, oh my god my baby are you okay? "I gasp when I seen my mama. She'd been crying, I could tell by the way she looks. "Hey mama "I smile a little through my tears. She's probably wondering why I'm crying anyway. The doctor looks at us. "I'll give you too some space "he says walking to the door.

She hugs me, pecking my cheek multiple times. "Ana, why are you crying? "She pulls away smiling. I'm debating on should I tell her or not. She's going to kill me."Nothing. I'm just happy to be alive of course. "I tell her. She smile and pulls me into a warm hug. "You are strong baby. I knew you'll make it. "She pulls away, with her eyes watering up again. "Momma don't cry.you're going to make me cry "I whine and wipe the tears out her eyes. She giggles. "I don't know what I would do without my daughter. You ,Yass, Chresanto are all I have "she tells me. "What about Reggae? "I asked. "Nobody comes before my family. And if you wanna wait a another month or two before leaving. It's fine with me. "She smile. "Thanks ma "I smiles too.