Of All The Roses

-Brighton Chapter One-

Seventh grade was the first time Ryder ever touched my hand. Hell, it was the first time any boy had ever touched my hand. It was then that I realized, love is not what you read about in books. It's something else entirely. Love is an unsolvable math problem. The more and more you work at it, the more confusing it gets. Love is not tangible, it's a destructive force that pulls you in. It's not the feeling you get on Christmas morning or when you read your favorite book. It was from the first time Ryder and I touched that I knew that, and I've known it ever since.

                        ~

    "In spite of you and me and the world going to pieces, I love you"

Oh how I wish I could live in a world where this was true. A world in which, love is the most powerful emotion there is. But I am not Scarlett O'Hara, and Rhett Butler is not going to come to my rescue.

Why is it that no matter what book you read, it is always revolved around the simplicity and the passion of love. Now yes, I understand why we have to annotate Gone With The Wind but I don't understand what it's trying to say. Make sure to fall in love with someone you can't have? Pray to god he will drop everything to be with you?

    Taking a break from the complexity of manufactured love, I look at the book stacks across from me hoping for something to catch my eye. Glancing through the shelves from Jane Austen to Oscar Wilde. Somewhere between Shakespeare and Steinbeck, lay an elegant young woman. Her rustic auburn hair drapes over her shoulders and frames her thin face. I gaze at her from across the library in amazement of the simplicity of her beauty. The tired woman's deep set whiskey colored eyes dart towards me. I quickly look away in the opposite direction and notice a muscular guy in the corner of my eyes.

The robust man stood in between Lewis Carroll and Agatha Christie, casually reading. His golden blonde hair glimmered even in the darkness of the library. He was beautiful, but not the kind of beauty that made you want to rip his clothes off, but the alluring, infatuation kind. He glances his forest green eyes from his book and faces me. Quickly looking down, I feel chills down my spine when I see him walk towards me. The closer he gets, the faster my breathing is. Once he reaches me, I look up from my book and into his wide eyes.

"How are you Brighton?" The muscular man asks. How can he just walk up to me and start asking me personal questions? Does he not remember the last time we talked? Now, my brain is telling me to say "I miss you so much" but my heart is saying "I am fine, I am happy".

"I am good, how are you Ryder?" I ask subtlety gazing into his alluring eyes. The man that has held my heart for all these years and that is all I can say? Hearing his voice for the first time in 5 years is almost chilling. Almost like I just saw a ghost. I think in some aspects I did.

"Oh ya know, same old." Ryder says, tenuously looking around. I guess this is what our relationship consists of now, awkward small talk. Just as I am about to say something I see her walk in. The strawberry blonde flaunts in the library without a care in the world. Ryder instantly turns red and begins to fidget with his shirt upon awaiting for her to reach us.

"I better go" I quickly choke out. As I grab my bag on the table, I feel a warm touch hit my skin.

"Don't" Ryder says with his hand still gripping my arm. I can't believe he is doing this, I think as I roll my eyes and cross my arms. But of course I stay. Just as I set my bag back down the annoyingly beautiful blonde reaches us.

"Baby, I missed you!" she says grabbing his arm playfully. My breath heavy's and I reconsider leaving when the Laini starts speaking to me.

"Uh it's Brighton right?" she asks. Actually, its understandable why she can't remember my name. I mean, we have only gone to school together since 6th grade. I reel in my feelings and fake a smile. When I begin to open my mouth Ryder quickly pipes up.