Letters to Him

November 20, 2016

Dear W,

This letter will probably be pretty long so hang with me bud. This weekend I've been in Gatlinburg for a youth conference. That would typically be useless information, however it isn't in this case because that means that I was in the place I began liking you for the first time since I started liking you. I got there on Friday and suddenly everything flooded back to my mind. As I was driving past the building I started liking you in, all I could even register in my mind was memories of that New Years weekend. I was in the car and my mom turned on the exact road you almost pushed me into traffic on. The entire atmosphere of Gatlinburg just made my mind erupt with thoughts. It was like I was a volcano and my brain was shooting out lava made of cold winter nights and Christmas lights and music and your face. It was like it was no longer November. My mind turned the place back the same way it was 10 months ago. As the weekend flew by, everything I did I somehow managed to think about you in the midst of. I didn't know how to handle it so I just tried and tried to get you out of my mind but despite all my efforts you managed to occupy my thoughts as usual. It's crazy to think that it's almost been an entire year. An entire year since that New Years night when my life took a turn on its head. Since that night, my liking towards you has just grown ever more over time. I realized something over these many months: once you like someone, you begin to notice more and more things that make them beautiful. If you don't fall for their looks you eventually will. I originally fell for your personality, but over time I began to realize you have a pretty nice face as well. I can't stop liking you now. I'm too deep in. It's like I've fallen in the sea and I've already floated too far away from the shore to be found. I've just fell for you. And I needed to address that. Another thing I wanted to address in this letter was your relationship status because boy, was this one a doozy. Your girlfriend broke up with you two weeks ago because she likes your best friend. You don't know that though. She just said she didn't like you anymore which technically is the truth. The problem with this is, you were completely content in this relationship. You were happy. You said to me exactly 3 days before the breakup, "I'm so happy with her. She makes me feel really happy. Different than any other girlfriend I've had." Then she just goes and dumps you. You were so upset. I could see you trying to hide it during church, but it was clear that you were really hurt. I told you I was there for you and I made sure you had a friend. From what I can tell, you still like her. And I want you to be happy. I really do, but I don't know if she's the best for you. She broke it off at the peak of the relationship. I just want you to be treated nicely and to be happy. That's all. So yeah, you're single now, which means that tiny sliver of hope inside me is coming back. Maybe, just maybe now you could open your eyes and see that I've been here the whole time. I've waited and waited, and I'll probably be waiting some more. That's okay though. If you never like me, I'll be okay. I might not be fine, but I'll be okay. As I've said before: as long as you're happy, I'm happy.

Off Adventuring,
The Girl Who's Liked You Since 1/1/16