BURNED

Chapter One

 

Two months! It's been two months since that night. I barely get out of bed. I've been ignoring everyone but Kyle lately and I think it's taking a toll of him. He has been amazing since that morning in the hospital when I told him what I remembered and what the doctors said.

"Babe you really should go see a doctor you've been really sick the past few weeks and I'm starting to get worried." He takes a deep breath and continues. "I really think you should try that therapy session as well. It's been two months and you're not coping."

I just stare at him, I don't want to see a damn doctor as I already know what they will say. I also know Kyle as supporting as he has been would now like what they have to say either. Hints why I have put off going to the doctors. I knew I was pregnant as a result of that night. I will never be able to forget.

"Please baby! I'm beyond worried about you. Let me take you or at least let me call Rachel."

I look away and stare at the wall. "Kyle I don't want to go to the doctor. I'm too afraid of them confirming my fear. I lost everything that night I don't want to lose you as well." I look back at him and see the concern in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter baby. I'm here for you and I always will be. Please go and make sure everything is alright." I could see it in his eyes he wants to believe what he said but even I know he can't.

I sigh and stand up. "Fine we can go." I knew this was a mistake but what could I do. I would be showing soon so might as well get it confirmed. I just hope Kyle can keep his promise and not run.

I went to get ready while he finished some work and called the doctor to get us in. As I stepped out of the shower I heard him talking to someone. I stood there and listened.

"I know Rachel it's a progress." A long pause as Rachel must be talking. "To be honest, I don't know what I will do. I love her you know I do but how can I deal with her carrying someone else's child. "

"I know I know, I will. She has been through too much I can't put her through that. I just wish she was back to herself, it's hard to see her as this empty shell." He sighs. "I'll keep trying to get her to go to the therapy you told me about, I think it will help. Thanks Rachel."

I smiled as I heard them trying to figure out ways to help me. Rachel my best friend who I have shut out, I should call her. "Okay yes Rachel, dinner tomorrow night I can't wait to see you." Wait what! He told me he had business. Maybe they are getting together to talk about me more. Yes that has to be it.

I walk out of the bathroom and into our room just as he hangs up. He smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I'm going to get dressed, were you able to get me in?"

"Yes we have time to get lunch first if you'd like." Knowing I haven't been able to eat and he is thinking about me he suggest. "Maybe we can go to Q'2s and get your favorite!"

I smiled because it sounds wonderful. "That sounds amazing actually." I hurried and got ready so we could take off.

The drive was quiet and short. As we sat down to order there was still this awkwardness to us. I know it was my fault. I sighed. "So um could you maybe tell me more about those therapy sessions?"

Kyle's eyes lit up. "Yes! So Umm I actually was told about them from Rachel. She said they take place at the hospital so we can get more information there. All I know is they are for people that have gone through similar things as you have."

I smiled as I watched him talk. This seemed like the right thing to do and maybe it can help us get back to how we were before. I didn't realize I just spaced out till I heard him repeat Rachel's name a lot. They sure do seem to be getting close.

After lunch we heading to the hospitals to talk to the doctor and gets some test done. As we waited we chatted a little. "Kyle um when I get called back can um you stay out here?"

He looked hurt that I would say this. "Sorry it's just hard enough to talk about what happened but with you there and the anger in your eyes, well it makes it harder for me."

"I get it Maci. I do but you know I want to be there with you. I want to support you, you're going to be faced with decisions that will not only effect you but me as well and we should talk about those choices together."

He wasn't suggesting what I think he was. "Ummm-". I was interrupted by them calling my name. "I'll um be back." I said as I looked at him. He was pissed. Well he was about to get even more pissed because I would never terminate this pregnancy or any other in the future.

I had my blood drawn first, then was asked if I could give a urine sample. I'm a nurse or well I would be if what happened didn't happen. But anyways urine shouldn't disgust me but it does.

After all is said and done I make my way to the room that will confirm my fears. As I answer all the normal questions I wonder about Kyle. Maybe I should have let him come with me.

Lost in thought as Dr. Rams comes in. "Well how have you been Miss Hayes?" She looked at me with sad eyes. She knows what I went through as she was there when I was brought into the hospital. I trust her.

"I've been better." I sighed and she shook her head. "Kyle and I talked about therapy today again. I think I might try it."

"That is wonderful I really think it will help. I believe the next session is in two days." She looks down and smiles sadly. "Especially with the news I have for you today. I know we talked about this the last time we saw each other. I know you feared this but as I told you before you have options."

I nodded. "I can't abort my child. Even though I didn't ask for him or her, I can't do that."

"What about adoption? That is also a choice you have there are plenty of lovely people out there that would love to raise your child."

I've thought about that a lot actually. I know that would help Kyle out as well. But still the thought didn't sit well with me. "I have time to think about that option as well but I think I will wait a decided after a few therapy sessions."

Dr. Rams smiled and nodded. "That's a good idea dear. So I take it that you came in to just confirm the pregnancy. Is there anything else I can help with?"

"No not right now. I have lots to think about before therapy I guess." I was scared I didn't know if I could talk about what happened to me with strangers.

"Okay well remember if you need anything just call me! And we need to get you set up with your next appointment for the baby as well before you leave and if you want to wait here I'll go and do that for you. Just take a deep breath and remember none of this was your fault."

I smiled and sat there waiting for her to come back. Thoughts of that night still not knowing exactly what happened is scary. I know the basics, I was raped, beaten, and left to die in a alley. The cops still looking for the two men. I don't think they will ever find them.

After my appointment Kyle and I went back to our apartment where we didn't speak to one another. I knew he was upset that I wasn't going to consider an abortion. But like the doctor said I can always decide to go the adoption route.