Lustful Love...

The Debate

I get up for school the next day, late..again. I had my moms boyfriend drive me to school this time. We stopped by McDonald's and I bought 4 hashbrowns, a iced coffee, and a egg mcmuffin. I ate it pretty quickly because you aren’t allowed to bring fast food to school for some weird reason. I threw the McDonald's bag on the floor when Bryan wasn’t looking, and walked into the school. I was to lazy to go to attendance and get a pass. So, I just walked on to first period after going to the vending machine and getting some Doritos. I thought to myself “ That Sierra girl never really talks to me, should I even bother asking for her number?”. I get anxious and punch the vending machine and bruise my hand. I put my hurt hand in my pocket and proceed to walk to class. As I am walking to class I start thinking of horrible things such as “Oh my freaking god, I will be in middle school for four years or more”. I continue walking to class while thinking about random things like how touch screen phones work and so on. I finally get to my first period class. I hear my teacher say “Late again?”. “Yes mam” I say to her. I hand her a fake pass I wrote, and I sit down. I look around the room and people were staring at me. Just like every other day. People look at me weird because I act like a boy and I slouch and wear guy clothes all the time. I couldn’t let anyone know that I am transgender. “What would they think of me” I thought to myself. Anyway, this boring ass class went by really slowly. I just sat there and was sneaking on my phone while everyone else talked. I knew no body. I thought to myself anxiously “I am going to end up going insane this year, I don’t know who I even am” The teacher walked by and slams a hand onto my back “So, are you planning to fail again” she says to me. I look at her very rudely. I honestly wanted to say “Excuse me bitch”. Instead, I said “No mam, i’m sorry. This school year is sucking already. “Fucking great” I thought. I begin to doze off in class and I think I fell asleep I don’t know. Have you ever been trying to sleep before and you get up and don’t know if you actually slept or not? Well, that's how I felt. The bell rang and It scared the crap out of me and I grabbed my stuff and left. I looked on my schedule. “God dammit what class do I have to go to now” I angrily thought. It was a odd day. I skim the paper looking for second period O days. Then, I look and it says Social Studies. I hate social studies so much. It says room number is twenty six. I have to walk to the other side of the school…. Really. This is ridiculous. I throw the schedule into my backpack and run to my next class. Literally, right when the bell rang, my left foot was in the classroom. I trip on air and fall into the desk closest to the door. “Oh my fucking god, this is so embarrassing” I thought in my head. I wanted to just cry. I made a horrible first impression. But then, a nice boy named Connor came over and said “here I’ll help you out”. He picked up my bookbag for me, and moved the desk and pulled me up. He then handed me a piece of paper. He walked away and sat in his seat. I sat down in a random seat and opened the piece of paper and it said “ I have seen you around school, and noticed you seem new, this is not a dating proposal, I know you are gay, I understand that, so, I would like to be friends. You seem really cool and in need of some company. Text me sometime 804*******.” I looked at him and smiled. He was so sweet. He was like four feet tall and wore glasses and looked like a nerd somewhat. That made my day. I didn’t think anyone wanted to talk to me. I was very surprised he knew who I was. It was only the second day of school. The teacher then said “Goodmorning students, I am your social studies teacher Mr.Jenkins, I will now be handing out papers you need to get signed by a parent or guardian and return to me by next class.” I wasn’t even listening at all. The words went into one ear and came out the other. The whole class this time went by really quickly. The teacher handed out the papers and then everyone just talked the whole period. Connor and I started talking during class. We talked about a lot of things actually. I asked him “ How do you know who I am”. He said “people talk about you a lot”. My heart then dropped. I then ask him “w-what do they say”. He looked sad and then said “people say that you failed the grade because you uncle raped you…” Holy shit… How do they know.. I ask. He says “everyone knows, I am sorry about that”. “It’s ok” I say to him. I then started to tear up.  I wipe my face and look at him and tell him “It was very hard to go through, I was made fun of and so on, told I deserved it etc”. His face dropped instantly and said ‘I am so sorry that happened to you. It’s okay I told him. Would you like to hang out sometime he asked me. Sure, that sounds like a plan. Great I’ll see yo-CLASS I have a announcement. The teacher blurted interrupting mid sentence. I forgot to mention that track and field starts next week so anyone who wants to  be on the team turn in your physical to me. Because, I am the coach for this years track team, thank you” “That was probably the quietest the class will ever be” Connor said laughing. At least the class gets quiet when the teacher is talking I said. The bell is getting ready to ring so I grabbed my backpack and stood by the door while Connor sat in his seat drawing. He sucks at drawing in my opinion. But hey, let a kid do what they want to do.