Something in the air

My Luna 3

  I finished my cigarette. Still I was feeling anxious and excited. I couldn't go back to class like that. I took another cigarette, put it between my lips while taking the lighter. I put my hands around the cigarette, while still holding it with only my lips, to lighten it and prevents the wind to put it out. I started smoking, put the lighter back in my pocket and stared silently at the sky.

Has it always been so blue, so deep and wide? of course it has. This is is the first time I truly look at it. The sky is infinite, I'd love to fly and explore every inch of it andsee the world from a different perspective. Instead I'm bound to live on this frail earth. Ten minutes have already passed and I'm still outside, not even halfway on my cigarette. I was too absent-minded to notice anything happening around me, this is probably the reason why I didn't hear the entrance door slam close. Too distracted to notice someone staring at me. Too distracted to hear footsteps coming towards me. Maybe I just wanted to be invisible and not be seen, maybe just two seconds more would have helped me gather myself back, but there I was. Hopeless, standing alone, smoking, and trying to hold back the tears. Sometimes it just feels wrong to live. 

I was no longer alone. "You know? you shouldn't be smoking here." A voice said.I turned around to see who was speaking just to find out it was the new guy. It was Derek. "None of your business. You shouldn't worry too much for someone you don't even know." I told him while wiping the teras from my cheeks with my sweatshirt's sleeve while bringing the cigarette to my mouth with the other hand. I took a drag. He came closer to me. "What's bothering you?" Derek asked, and then took the cigarette from my lips. I didn't expect him to do that. 

-"I thought you didn't smoke, or at least not here from your remark before." I told him while staring at his eyes. They're soo stunning.

-"I didn't say I wouldn't." A smile crossed his face. "I just wanted a couple of drags, it relaxes me. besides this is your cigarette and not mine." 

-"You're right, that's my cigarette so give it back." I told him, still looking his eyes, and then took my cigarette back.

-"What's wrong? You were crying, weren't you? derek asked with his face turned to the sky.

I couldn't stop myself from thinking that the same cigarette that's in my mouth right now, has also been in his. This is weird. That's something I don't pay too much attention to usually. There's something about this guy that makes me want to know more about him untill I get to know his every sorrow. 

-"Who said I was crying? I answered. "it just happend that I turned my head up right when a drop of rain fell righ on my cheek." I sure was not convincing at all, but atleast I tried.

-"pff... Hahahaha! Oh man, that's a good one, really, hahaha!!" he was laughing his ass off. That damn brat.

-"You! you better stop it if you want another drag." I told him waving my half cigarette in front of him. He slowly stopped laughing and the asked for my name. I told him my name was Zayn.He also introduced himself, althought I already knew who he was. He asked again what the reason behind the taers from earlier was, but I just stared blankly in front of me, not looking at him or at the school. I was lost thinking why my life was so cruel to deprive me from so many possibilities and dreams. My freedom is not even real. I came back to reality to find Derek looking at me. He was eager to know, to talk. Great. The answer on the paper from before was a great topic to talk about.

-"So, Derek, what did you mean by 'ask me after class'?" I asked him. A smirk spread through my face. He was surprised by the direct question. Still, he didn't look away, he simply looked me in the eyes and then said "Ask me". I did. He was in front of me, two inches away away from my face. There, for a split second I felt something, and he seemed to feel it too. There was electricity in the air. After a few second ìs spent staring at each other, I asked him "Whats up?".

He answered "I'm feeling like shit today. But I may have found something really interesting in this place. Amusing and intriguing I must admit." He smiled lightly, then continued "Wanna know what that is?"I was nervous and couldn't move an inch from him. There was something that kept me wanting to know more and to get even more closer to him. He was even closer now, our noses were practically touching, when he said "Answer me." in a low and sensual voice.  I kept my cool and opened my mouth to speak, while he was taking the last drag of the cigarette, only inches away from my nose now, when I felt something warm and humid, pleasant to the touch. His lips were pressed aginst mine. I could not think of anything, I didn't know if I even wanted to go on kissing him or just stop him. He went on and it felt good, so I decided to cooperate and kiss him back. This was different from the kisses I had given before, there was somthing about it that I couuld not understand. He started licking the top of my lip, and putting his tongue in as well. I did the same but he stopped me from licking his upper lips or sucking on his tongue, and started biting my lips. It felt amazing. It was the best kiss I've ever had.

After two minutes we stopped and looked at each other. His face was filled with desire and longing. Butthere was also shame, and guilt, probably for doing it so abruptly. "What was that?" I asked him still dazed. He didn't expect it and, after a second of surprise  answered with a cheeky smile "don't you know what a french kiss is? Hope you enjoyed it and feel better now." and then continued "well, I'm going back now, make sure you come as well. See you later"

he turned his back to me and started leaving. I sighed. He turned around and said "oh, I forgot" and then came back to kiss me gently and then bite my bottom lip,