in my right mind

2

My eyes fluttered open to a brightly lit corner where I was shriveled up. The sunlight pouring in through the window made it difficult to see anything until my eyes adjusted to the light. The sky was clear today as the storm had washed away the mist and cleared the clouds and a brilliant sun shone in its wake. The warmth that soaked into my bones even through the glass panes was heavenly. I reveled in it for a few minutes trying to sum up what had happened. A loud knock on the door broke me out of my reverie and my head jerked towards the door in the far corner of the large haunting space. I regretted that action as soon as a sharp pain struck my neck and I closed my eyes moving my neck in a circular motion to get rid of the crick. My body felt exhausted and tired even though I had just woken up. A second knock on the door made me swallow the lethargy and stand up on my stiff legs. Without even a glance at myself in the mirror or an attempt to fix myself I moved towards the door. I knew every second lost was a chore added. Whoever it was would leave after the third knock and after that I would have seconds to get down and about. With no idea about the time which came as a disadvantage of living in an attic and having no wristwatch, I opened the door. Before I could see who it was I was lifted up into a bone crushing hug by a strong body. After the initial shock of the entirety wore off the familiarity of the body had my throat choke with an ache and an unusual sound erupted from my mouth as a sob broke. I held back weakly onto my elder brother and just let the storm pass. He let me cry.

After what felt like hours of consistent crying and standing like statues, my reservoirs finished and I let go of James.

"You're back," I spoke slowly, still not believing what I was seeing. He had been away for college for four years, and I had started to believe that he wasn't going to come back. Things had been better for me when he was around because he loved me and protected me. Unwillingly and unknowingly we had said our goodbyes when I was thirteen. He didn't want to leave me alone, but he couldn't stay and bear with the atrocities of this huge palace that had become hell for us. He had to leave. Neither of us knew that what I would go through would be much worse. The wrath of the parents failed once was comparatively low with the wrath of the parents who had dirt hurled at them the second time. And that is what I was, a second bucketful of dirt. What unwilling education they had given him, hoping to hide him by forcing him to go against his nature all the while, they hadn't given me. I was more of a rebel and I wouldn't hide myself, and by the time it came to me they had given up and didn't even bother. In a way, they were more tolerant to my brother than they were to me. He was bad. I was rotten. After he left, they became vile. I was young and frail and a problem to their social status, so they had hidden me entirely. My life had become so miserable that I had lost track of time and day. I had imagined James would never come back and that he had gone off forever.

"How are you?" he asked me cautiously, while I stood at arm's length. I almost smiled at his warm voice. Almost. Only later when his words hit me did my lips curve into a proper frown and I was reminded again of the hell I was being subjected to. I turned around and walked to the mirror and looked outside through the glass panes. And as much as I wanted him to stay and as much as it ached my heart me to say this, I gulped and said,

"You shouldn't be here."