(reader's note- hey guys so if you're triggered by self-harm then i'd suggest you skip the second part of this chapter and read the third part, it isn't really that graphic but i want you all to be okay so skip it if you wanna, ly guys and hope you're enjoying le fic so far- hetti the meme lord)
(tyler's pov)
i should have known. this whole thing was just a trap. blurry was tricking me into feeling depressed, and so far it was working. he knew he could control anything i did. and at that moment, we both knew what he was trying to make me do.
"how does he look to you, my boy?"
now he's gonna start interviewing me? i thought to myself. i looked at josh's sharply-lined face, tears escaping his eyes rapidly.
"he's upset. he misses me." i look at him in the eyes, his evil smirk starting to fade. this was the most guilty i'd ever felt in my life. i'd been so selfish and disrespectful that i had to throw away everything i had. my career, my marriage, my friendship. no wonder josh had been so pissed with me before the show. fame had changed me into someone i didn't recognise.
"how does that make you feel?"
he's trying to make me cut, i know he is, i thought myself. sure, i had dark days, like anybody with my condition did, but i never thought i'd go back on that road again. it turned out i was just kidding myself. he knelt down beside me and whispered in my ear hauntingly.
i remembered the phrase he uttered to me from years ago.
"you know what to do, joseph."
his sinister smile reappeared, barely being able to contain his glee. finally, when his victim had thought he finally had the upper hand on him, he could make him stumble and go back to square one.
i sighed. his terrible plan had worked.
************************************************
(STOP READING HERE IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY)
"you did this to yourself, you worthless piece of shit."
i felt a long and excruciating pain rip through my left wrist, blurry beside me watching with a victorious cackle. i hated having to do this to myself, and i felt like i was letting josh and jenna down.
"they don't know you exist, you idiot. why care what they think about it? why, you're nothing to them here."
the pain returned, each slice even more painful then the last as i made my way up and down my arm. he could hardly contain his delight.
"that's my boy. you see, joseph, you can try and beat me however you want. you can write songs about me, tell your little followers about me, you can even stand up to me live on stage in front of those weaklings. but here's the thing. you'll never be able to beat me. as long as there's fear, as long as there's depression, you will never be able to destroy me."
every word he said was true. what i did at the show wasn't going to change anything. he'd still haunt me the way he did before, just more ruthlessly and more remorselessly. i forced the blade into my skin, once again, wincing from the pain.
"do you know why?"
this seemed to have become his game now. tricking me into remembering that i was weaker than him, which only made me want to harm myself more.
YOU ARE READING
what if.... - a twenty one pilots fanfic
Fanfictionwhat would have happened if tyler and josh had never met? what would have happened if twenty one pilots had never existed? (trigger warning)
