F I R S T L O V E

10th

February,2006

Dear diary,

How are you feeling? Aren't you sick of me yet?

I've been thinking of the reason you've been gived to me, if it is just so i could open up for someone, why didin't i open up for Rin or Jimin? They are my best friends right? Then why can't i trust them?

I guess its just that i'm scared they could turn their back at me. They do know much about me, but i still can't sit with them and talk about my feelings, is it because i don't trust them much?

I was trusting Hyorin alot when we started to get close, she was always talking to me about her problems and asking for advices, i already talked with her alot about me, though i've knowed her just for a year but i trusted her alot. She knows me very well, she can read in me like an open book, but once Jimin showed up everything changed.

I've meet Jimin a year after Hyorin, i still remember when he sicked at me that time, he was annoying me and i've found him very glincy.

I was playing basketball and he was with some boys cheering for my team. Once the match ended, he camed to me and congrats me for my great work, as always, i thought that it will stop here, but actually, he keept coming and watching me for a month, then he decided to ask the trainer to be part of the team, when he was accepted as a player though he was a failure for me, he keept thanking me, saying that i've inspired him, then, i don't know how it happened, but we becamed friends, then best friends, all that when he helped me one day.

I was in the park late at night, and he was passing by since his house was near the park, then when he asked me what i was doing there, i 've looked at him and ignored him first, then i've ended up telling him what i was doing, late in a cold night, in a park. That time, i knew i could trust him, it was when he accepted me and asked me to spend the night with him in his house. I thought that he will tell to all his friends what i've told him, but he didnt, he just accepted me, the way i am, and with all my problems.

That time, i knew i could trust him, we becamed close and we shared problems, he trusted me at first, and i've trusted him later, since i don't trust easly.

When i knew i had two friends that i could consedirate as loyals, i've feeled then useless, since theses two becamed closer, and eben forgot about my existance.

I'm not jealous, i just don't understand sometimes their attitude toward each other. They keep laughing together or even hold hands and do stuff like that. I now that Jimin is such a flirter and that he can get girls hearts easly, but i just hate the fact that its Hyorin, my Hyorin. I knew her first, then why isnt she acting with me the same way she is acting with him?

Did she really forgot about me diary? Is she prefering him, to me?

Should i fight to get her back? But what is she even to me so i could do that?

-M

Autor's Note:

Forgive me if you ever found mistakes, i'm not an english professor, and its my first time writing in english.

I'm not very proud of this chapter or my story, i hope you like it anyway.

Peace upon you.

-Hxx