BEASTLY

xxii. spark

I'm sorry, y'all. I thought I'd write a lot over my break, and all I wanted to do was not think. I think I did a damn good job of that. :P

Mitch Grassi

I tapped nervously on my leg. Was this a good idea? Is this something I should pursue? What if he leaves? What if everything I've worked towards just crashes and burns? What if this doesn't get me closer to beauty? And for a split second, I wanted to slap myself across the face. The ugly side of my slips out every now and then and I try to keep the fierce bitch at bay. I talked it over with Avi and Naomi and they said it was a perfect idea... but I was a little worried about one thing.

I wanted to take Scott to the Nyourican Poets Cafe. He'd confessed to me something that was dear to him, granted, I already knew about it. In fact, I'd contemplated setting up some sort of alternative for him here at the house, but I wanted him to have a little air. To breathe. And I'd be with him, too. In fact, Avi and Naomi would be there as well. I didn't want to keep all of us cooped up in that house for too long.

I'd stood up from my perched position by the window. It was rounding the last few minutes of daylight before night broke through and encompassed the world. Yet there was still daylight in the house... Scott had made me feel something that I had yet to feel this entire time with this face. Julian, I don't think you're ugly. He took one look at my face and didn't back away. He stayed. He even grabbed my wrist. It's been a damn week and I still feel like I'm on cloud nine, even with my doubts of whether or not he had been truthful about it. But I still felt that there might have been a slight possibility. I was getting better about leaving my hood off in the house. I'd still make sure I wore long hoodies that covered over my arms and the rest of my body. That part I wouldn't let see daylight. I felt like I was getting paler than Scott... and he's pretty pale. Yet I've never seen paleness look so damn beautiful...

I'd taken a moment two days ago while I should've been studying some book... Beowulf, maybe? Or had I already read that... no. Canterbury Tales? Scott was sitting in the same room with me and Avi and was perched on the very window sill that I had contemplated my night's decision with. He was reading a book. I couldn't quite tell what the title was, but the cover looked like a blonde boy eating candy with a ton of candy wrappers all around his head. I'd have to ask him about it later when I wasn't so consumed with panic about this idea. Anyway, I was taking in his beauty. It made me shameful for how I looked at people, especially when Avi could call something beautiful after not even seeing their face. But Scott was a rare form of beauty. He had such handsome facial features. He'd taken time here with me to grow out a nice scruff on his jaw, making him look rugged yet well groomed at the same time. He had his hair pulled back in a snapback, which hadn't always been his go to look. He'd actually styled it quite a lot, which I found amusing considering he never got out of the house. He'd wanted to be confident in his looks... but he didn't need to do a damn thing. He also had a couple of freckles splayed out along his shoulder blades and broad shoulders. He didn't have defined muscles, but you could see the outline when he'd turn the page in his candy book, or when Avi would ask him to grab something from the top shelf. I think Avi did it to tease me, considering Avi never asked people to do things for him. He was perfectly capable... but he knew how to make light of the situation. And the final thing... his eyes. God, how I wished that this horrible witch hadn't removed me of color. Yet, here's the funny thing. I knew he had beautiful baby blue eyes. Crystals. I just had to fill them in with my imagination. Yet, if I were color blind, he had the most beautiful dull colored eyes that I'd ever seen.

Scott was beautiful. Could he have the potential to make me feel the same way?

-.-.-.-.-

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Scott was like a kid in a candy shoppe, looking out the window and seeing all of the amazing sights he'd missed for so long. I simply shook my head and laughed lightly. He groaned and leaned into me, causing my heart to stop momentarily.