Chapter 5: A Second Try

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I marched into the thick jungle, my mind on one thing.  Before entering I had searched for the tree with the cleverly carved tunnel in the tree.  I had only been there once, how was I to find it?  My searches failed, but I pressed on anyway.  How did she find her way through here every day?  She must have every tree and dip and flower memorized.  I just tried to picture the place in my mind as I traveled the general direction in which it seemed I had entered last time.  If I could only find the place where we encountered each other, I would have a better chance at navigating my way to that tree whose trunk held so many secrets.

I didn’t know why exactly I was trying to find her.  Nothing I could say to her would make her like me, or make her forgive me for telling the baker about her.  I didn’t even know how I should tell her or if I even should.  Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion.  Maybe the baker would keep it to himself or forget about it, but the last thing I would want would be for them to come looking for her.  What if someone found her and… I don’t even know what the danger of that would be, but she wanted to live privately.  I couldn’t let her life be publicized. 

I noticed scratches down several of the trees in the area.  I crept closer to one of the trees and slid my hand down the bark.  I looked up at the others.  I decided I was either in the right direction or I was soon to encounter an unfriendly visitor.

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I looked down at my scrawlings in the soft dirt of the trunk soil.  I saw strappingly built muscles secured to broad shoulders.  A strong neck cradled that magnificent jaw line.  I saw the hair, the scruffy face, the eyes…..

 I quickly swept the lines away embarrassed that I had let it happen again.  Zorxik was a foolish blood thirsty boy.  He only wanted hatred and evil.  My subconscious refused my wiles.  I knew that’s what it had seemed, what everyone else saw, but I had heard him declare his past.  I had looked into his eyes when he spoke it.  Even though a hard shell covered him, I had seen his gooey core.  I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way.  Maybe we were destined to meet each other that confusing day.  My confession had been involuntary.  Had his been?  I couldn’t imagine someone—a man—opening up that quickly.  I was awestruck.  I forced the thoughts away, he didn’t like me.  I was a filthy jungle rat.  I mean c’mon, I wore jaguar hide.  I had a big ugly scar on my face.  Why would anyone want a woman so, so not feminine.

“Ugh!”  I threw my twig on the ground and kicked myself for letting my mind wander… again. Roux looked at me with a cocked head.  I dismissed his inquiry with a flip of my wrist and trudged up the steps to my hole in the Great tree.  I shoved the beads aside as I hurled myself into the jungle.  I turned down the trail that started four trees to the left and two trees up from the Great tree.  It didn’t look like a trail to those who didn’t know it; it was just how I found my way to the creek.  I was used to the markings and rocks and turns along the way.  I felt safe down that trail, it felt like home.

By the time I got down to the cool creek, my emotions had become somewhat cool too.  I sighed to relax myself as I removed my jaguar skirt and crude rope-cloth top.  I tested the water for its temperature before sliding chin deep into the icy current.  The muscles in my fingers and back twitched in shock from the dramatic temperature change, but quickly adjusted.  I let my hair down and submerged my head.  I rose back up and gasped for air.  I twisted and rubbed and massaged and crimped my hair to let all of the dirty particles escape.  I soon found myself simply laying in the rushing water, letting all of my nerves and emotions calm in the relaxing torrent. 

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