Chapter One- Chicago

The sight of an angel

I didn't really like her at first at least i didn't realize it, one night she called me, i was playing super mario bros, being me i teased her, not sexually but romantically, passionately, eventually i asked to fall asleep on the call with her, after i got a confirmation, i fell asleep, slow gracefully, then all at once. the morning i woke i heard nothing, silence, i couldn't hear the angel i once heard, yet i was still happy i got to fall asleep hearing her voice. at some hour i called her apparently i could not get enough of her, and at some hour... i asked her to be mine, the both of us were in awe, me being anxious, her being shocked, she said yes.

A month passed, we already want to marry each other mostly because we've been flirting for the longest time, i've fallen in love with her and i knew it, i had accepted the fact that i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life.

I posted a photo, an old photo with me and my brother, with the caption being "see you soon" I intended it as just the fact that I will soon visit him in jail, but my sister commented, exposing something that should have been a secret until my mother told me, but it was too late now, my mother told me she bought me a ticket to chicago to visit family again, coicendentally my girlfriend lived about 3-4 hours from my hometown, i told her, she told me she's never been more excited for something in her whole life, and i couldn't agree more, how could i not agree more? i began to put her before me, most likely before anyone else. she was the only one i could see. without giving my hopes up i had told my mom that she lived not so far from chi-town. it took so long to persuade her, but since i was staying with my brother it was my responsibility to persuade my brother instead.

i had stayed on the phone with her the whole time i was packing, she helped me figure out what i can and cannot bring on the plane, the next day was probably the most exciting day of my life. i could not stop thinking about meeting her, hell i dreamed of it, and so did she, she would tell me dreams of when we met, i would drool thinking about meeting her and just her in general, how could i not daydream of meeting a real angel? packing the car, my heart was beating, not because i was rushing but because the hours and days got closer and closer to meeting the love of my life. 

Soon enough, we arrived at the airport, i didn't realize that it was 30 minutes till boarding time when we were supposed to get there an hour before. i hadn't flown in a plane since i was 6. i said goodbye to my mom at security and waved at my sister from afar since she stayed at the doors before security. i then felt like an adult on my own. as soon as i got to the boarding area, the plane was ready to board, i sat in the middle of the plane, observing my surroundings, i could see that everyone was calm, how could i see it? they were already doing their own thing, reading, falling asleep, ordering drinks, me being anxious i kept a close eye on the flying attendents, not hearing much of what they have to say but watching how they put on an oxegyn mask and a life vest on, finally the plane took off, i thought to myself, this is it i'm leaving Louisiana for a whole month, i didn't really know if it was good or bad, because i knew i got homesick really easily.

The plane slowly rode through the landing strip, it turned then continued straight, and eventually but all at once we took off, the addrenaline in me was off the fucking roof. my eyes were wide open, when we took off i checked my surroundings once more everyone was so calm and i had realized, they've all been through this before haven't they? i felt alone in my fear but all was well. my flight to chicago was so short, all i did was listen to music really. we landed and i was never more ready to get off of that plane. when i went into the airport i admired the people of chicago, then went on to grab my suitcase, i got a text, it was from my brother telling me where to go to be picked up, i went there, and i was so nervous to see my brother, i haven't seen him since i was 8. when he arrived he smiled at me, got out of the drivers seat, put my suitcase in the car, holding patrick my teddy bear i sat in the passenger seat, ready to see the sightings on my hometown once more, city or not, i was ready to drive through any part of chicago again just for the nostalgia.

We then began to small talk, which i have always hated, its just simply awkward in my opinion, but he dealt with it, i had no choice really, it was about 11pm when we arrived at his house, my nephews were asleep, along with my brothers girlfriend, he told me things like when i needed food, and where to sleep, he then left again to go back to work. i then remembered, right like my dad was, a workaholic, its what truck drivers do, work, pretty much all the time. the next morning i walked into the kitchen still holding patrick for comfort, kathleen, my brothers girlfriend greeted me once more with a hug, asking me how my flight was, the usual small talk. i then eagerly and anxiously said hi to my nephews, tommie, 4 which i had not seen since he was about 4 months old, and hunter, 2, they both hated me, but if i had to choose who hated me more it was definately hunter, that child despised me and could not wait until i was gone, im sure everyone in that house could say the same. 

Mind you it has been a month since my girlfriend has spoke to me, she did it often, take breaks from talking to me, because of her depression, she just needed time, which i whole heartidly supported her through every part of it. But i would panic everytime she left...completely just break down. I was so scared, how could you not be if someone you loved so god damn much was leaving for god only knows how long.