Alive

Prologue

       I'm dead. I watch over my family, and shake my head at their mistakes, but what I really wish is that they could hear me. I laugh when they make jokes, and scream when they get hurt, and most of all cry when I remember that I am forever dead and they don't know I can see and hear "EVERYTHING!"

      My name is Lyra Seraphina. I was murdered, and guess who killed me? My beloved father. I sit invisible in my old house, and watch my sister tear apart keeping the secret of my actual cause of death from society. I am scared though, afraid that my father might hurt my little sister Adela. I was all she had. When I was growing up he was abusive towards my mother. After awhile she stopped letting it hurt her, and she wouldn't cry, or scream, only pretend that he wasn't hitting her. Then it just stopped all together because he had decided that she was too immune to his beatings and slowly began moving onto me. I was seven years old when he began verbally abusing me. After the verbal complaints bursted out of his mouth every second, minute, and hour of every single day, the physical abuse started. He would slap me, punch me, and push me agaisnt walls. Throw me across the room, just beat me senseless. I endured it all for her, for Adela. I was broken, destroyed, and full of despair, but most of all simply just scared. I had began building up a wall to bury my thoughts and memories behind. This way no one would know what truly happened inside the walls of my house and no one would have to be there for me. I can't depend on other people to help me, or feel sorry for me. 

       Being dead I live in a world yes. But not heaven nor hell. I am stuck on Earth, watching people, listening to everything they say, they just can't see me or hear me. I don't need to sleep, eat, or do anything really. In some ways its nice not worrying about those things anymore. But watching Adela, while she is still trapped and in danger, and the fact that I left her all alone wiht no one else to protect her from the beast hidden deep in her thoughts is too much for me to take on. The beast, our father is a much respected real estate agent by day, and a piece of shit abusive father by night. That basically sums of the demon of our lives pretty well. 

        Our mom? She ran away from us, right when he began abusing me and not her. I'd like to pretend that she just "forgot" to bring Adela and I because of her fear. But deep down I know that's not the case at all. She bolted becuase she was scared, but she didn't bring us because she didn't care. She left me too clean up the mess alone, not thinking twice, let alone once about Adela's well being or mine. I forgot about her the moment she walked out on us, without a farewell or much needed explination to her 7 year old and 5 year old.

      In every part of the 6 years I was abused after my mother left, Adela would watch him beat me and assult me. The man who was supposed to tuck her in at night and wish all the bad monsters under her bed away... I was only 13 when my father murdered me. Adela was only about 11 years old. I would have ran off with Adela if I had known what e had already planned. Everyday I regret my poor judgement from that decision. I watch Adela live the consequences, being abused at every waking hour, and how she sits and cries for hours after, yelling my name out over and over again until our dad slaps her and tells her to shut up already. He says I won't come to save her, that he already took care of me to shut me up, and does he need to do the same to her. Those remarks usually make her quiet instantly. Everytime he hits her, every single blow chatters me comepletely, and leaves me utterly lost and broken. It's all my fault. If only I had noticed this all coming. I was supposed to protect her, and make sure she was never hurt. Ugh! I guess I will just go and sit in her room. Maybe lay down next to her, and watch her sleep peacefully until dad comes in and turns that upside down. I will sing to her too. I will sing our favorite song. The one I would sing to her ever single night before she went to sleep. It was titled "Dream." Adela and I liked that song because of the name. We liked to believe that we were living in a nightmare, and we would fall asleep and wake up in our dreams. We would wake up in a paradise. A paradise only thought of in dreams...

Dream by: Priscilla Ahn

"I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me. I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green. I had a dream. That I could fly from the highest swing. I had a dream. Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind parks, I asked God who I'm supposed to be. The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep. I had a dream. That I could fly from the highest tree. I had a dream. Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave. I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing. I had dream." 

    "Goodnight my angel. I'm sorry I left you my dear dear Adela. I'm here forever. I love you so much my little darling!"