Running Away

Chapter 1

January 1994,

Dear Diary,
I had my baby today in the woods, I thought he wouldn't find me there.
She looked so much like me, with my eyes, my lips and my nose, even though I never wanted this child I fell in love with her. When she grabbed my pinkie finger I felt this surge run through me. That was when I heard the noise in the woods. Freda rushed to the window to check, Diary, it was him. He was coming for me. He was coming to hurt my baby, I told Freda to go with my child, to take her somewhere safe where he wouldn't find her.
Diary, no matter how much it hurts me, I wouldn't want to part with my daughter. She brought this glimmer of happiness into my heart.
When Freda asked me if I was sure I wanted her to go with the child, I saw the tears in her eyes. I was crying too. I wanted to hold my child in my arms and wait for him to come kill us both. But that would be stupid, won't it? I cherished this life I brought into the world.
I told Freda it was for my child's own good, if he found us he'd kill us all. I watched Freda wrap my baby, Diary, I wanted to grab my child but I was still in pain. I watched them disappear through the back door.
I lost my child today. Never to see her again, forever.
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Fifteen Years Later
Gibbleton, California

"Olivia, what is wrong with you?" Ryan asked taking the glass of red wine from his wife. Olivia sobbed lightly as she released the glass from her fingers, she watched him drop it on the table and then tears came down her eyes. "Why are you working yourself over not getting a child? We could easily adopt children...."
"I need my own child!" Olivia cried out. She narrowed her eyes to his gaze.
"And you are going to get one by drinking alcoholic wines and beverages? Damaging the little life in your womb?" He asked sitting next to her on the couch. Olivia pressed her lips together, she cried harder. The taste of wine made her lips smirk and she longed to hold that glass in her hand.
Ryan held her, he pulled her close and sighed. "Stop doing this. Please."
She cringed into him, wanting him to hold her tight. He did, he loved his wife and she loved him. She breathed the smell of his perfume. Energetic Man. The strong scent engulfed her nose and churned her stomach.
"Promise me you won't drink again."
Olivia thought over those words. She wanted to say 'No'. To tell him how she couldn't stop until she gets a child. There was no life in her womb anymore. It was dead.
She had been married to Ryan for seven years. In the first three years of their marriage, she had been patient. Hoping it was only but a hold. Her not been able to conceive. But when it got to the fourth year and the years after that, terror and fear clouded her. Medical reports said she was fine and there was nothing wrong with her womb. There was nothing wrong with Ryan either.
"I won't. I promise." She heard herself say.
"Very well. I need to change into clean clothes." Ryan said kissing her forehead. He stood up and picked up his suit and briefcase which he had dropped on the sofa earlier. Olivia watched him head up the stair till all she heard was his footsteps.

Her mother opened the door and sighed.
"You look terrible, Olivia." Samantha said going into the house. Olivia followed, she closed the door behind her. "I'm making lunch for your father. Please come help me."
Olivia felt anger rush within her. The desire to yell at her mother, to ask her how she could not even care what brought her home on a normal day when she was supposed to be at work.
"I'm tired of been barren." The words came out swiftly portraying no emotion. No feeling. No life.
Samantha paused in her steps and looked back at Olivia. She cleaned her hands on the blue apron she had on and went back to her daughter.
"Come here." She said pulling Olivia into an embrace. "You'd be fine." She said patting her back. "Sit. Sit."
They sat on the couch and Olivia cried. "My past is probably haunting me, mother."
"My child. Never say such words." Samantha whispered.
"I want to find my child. My baby."
Samantha scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous Olivia. You gave that child up sixteen years ago."
"I didn't give her up. I let her to safety."
Samantha sighed. She looked at the yellow curtains that were hung up and watched how they fluttered lightly to the pressure of the cool wind.
"You sent her away. You gave her up, you sent her to safety. They all mean the same thing. Freda told me you never wanted that child."
"That was before she was born." Olivia replied.
Samantha scoffed again. "Well, no one knows where that child is."
"Freda took her. She might know."
"Freda has no idea where the baby is. Besides if you find her, do you intend her to welcome you with open arms."
Olivia felt the tears again as they rolled down. "I want to meet her. There is every probability that she would. I have faith."
"That faith makes me laugh." Samantha muttered. "You should have had it sixteen years ago."
"I was scared."