What I Thought I Didn't Need

Chapter 4

Enrique's P.O.V

On the way back to my house, I couldn't stop thinking about the booklet. It kept eating away at me making it hard to focus on anything. This had to stop. Like now. But why did it hurt me when Ashton called it garbage? It made me feel really uncomfortable. I kept glancing at her wondering if I should ask her to come to church on Sunday. Yes. I am considering going. Maybe it will help me relax and forget about this whole thing. I mean. Maybe Ashton's right. But then again if she was then I wouldn't get so much of an uneasy feeling that made me want to climb under a rock. I shoved those thoughts to the back of my mind.

Taking another glance at her I find myself thinking about how perfect she is. Even when her usual smirk is contorted into a sad frown. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I wish I could wipe the smirk from her face, but it pains me to see her so broken and sad. My heart aches and I'm tired of having to be strong. But I needed to do this for Ashton.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Ashton speaks, "Thanks. For being here for me." She gave me that warm smile that latley has been driving me crazy. To add to my growing feelings, she takes my hand weaving her fingers through mine. Not that we never hold hands, it's just that I think I'm starting to have stronger feelings for her. I have always loved her. But in a sister kind of way. And I had never intended for that to change. But that was beyond me.

I turned to face her and returned her smile. "I'll always be here for you Ashton." With that she let my hand go, and as much as I hate to admit it, I immediately miss her touch. She had left my hand tingling. I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and kiss her gently. And to make matters worse, we had the radio on and 'Wanted' by Hunter Hayes was on.

Get a grip Rodriguez!! I scolded myself. Dude! She's your best friend since forever don't screw it up! This can't be happening.

To my relief we finally reached my house. I cut the engine and grab Ashton's backpack while she got her other bag. And without thinking I walk alongside her taking her hand in mine as we walked up the long path that led to the front door. Again we smile at each other despite all that had happened. Because from what I had learned in life is that it goes on. And it will go on.

Mom was still at work so it was just me and Ashton. I had a sister Avery but she was married and lived in the States. 

I led Ashton to the guest bedroom where she would be staying still not having dropped her hand. We stood there in the doorway silently for a while just looking each other in the eyes as if we were both trying to figure something out.  Suddenly Ashton broke into tears and started weeping while not breaking eye contact. I pull her in close for a hug. She immediately responds and puts her arms around my waist while leaning her head on my chest.

Through tears she finally said, "I can't believe that my brother ever had anything to do with drugs." She hugged me tighter and I never wanted to let her go. I just wanted to stay in her embrace forever. "But then again, what do I know about my brother? We never even talked. I haven't told him I loved him up until he got into the hospital." Her voice was laced with pain and regret. "I never tried." She pulled back slightly so she could look me in the eyes. I gently wiped away her tears with my thumb and let my hand wander back into her hair, stroking it soflty and I felt her relax somewhat. Her voice broke when she spoke again. "But neither did he." Not knowing what to say, I just let her cry in my arms while stroking her back. It killed me to see her so sad.  My heart ached for her.

"You'll get through it Ashton." I kissed the top of her head lightly. "And I'll be here, right by your side."

The next morning I got up at 5:00am. I was still really tired since Ashton and I had stayed up till 11:30 doing our homework.

Despite being tired, I was determined to bring Ashton breakfast in bed just so she'd know that I really care. I decided to make her her favorite breakfast. Nutella Pancakes. She absolutely loved Nutella Pancakes.

But first I went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I hopped into the shower and took my time. But burning in the back of my mind was the booklet. I pushed any thoughts of it to the side and promised myself I'd go to church on Sunday. I got dressed in dark jeans and a white v-neck that's a little tighter than necessary and put gel in my hair combing it upwards to make it stand up like I usually do. I like it best that way since the sides are almost shaved leaving the top with enough length to look– wait what am I doing talking about my hair? It's brown and I like the way it looks with my tanned skin. Okay. Enough. I need to start on breakfast.

By the time I finished making breakfast it was 6:30. I quickly cleaned up and made my way to the guest room with the tray of pancakes and orange juice. I knocked lightly and heard Ashton groan a little so I took that as my cue to come in. Quietly though.

I set the tray down on the nightstand and just stared at Ashton. She looked so beautiful. Her long dark hair spread out in all directions, and her mouth slightly parted. Without thinking, I took out my iPhone and took a picture. Stuffing my phone back in my pocket, I sat down on the bed and lightly shook her by her arm. "Ashton." She turned on her side so she was facing me but didn't open her eyes. "Ashton. Babe wake up." Her eyes fluttered open. Her large dark eyes looked so beautiful.

"Morning, Rodriguez." She said as she gave me a show stopping smile. Damn. She's just. Wow. "Earth to Enrique!"

Awe man I was openly staring at her. So I quickly grabbed the tray from the nightstand giving it to Ashton who was now sitting up on the bed. "I uh, made you breakfast!"

She took the tray from me and thanked me about half a million times. She dug in with no shame and not a trace of blush. That's just one more thing I love about her. I don't know what I'd do without her.

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