Head Down (phanfiction)

9 * He's An Ass, But He's Not That Bad

"Oh."

How the hell was I supposed to know what he meant by that?

I didn't see Dan the next day at school. I was almost certain he didn't even come at all. I hated that there was a strong possibility I was the reason he wasn't there. He wanted to avoid me, for obvious reasons (that I of course understood) but, nevertheless, I didn't like it.

I wanted him to be here.

And I wanted -- despite my better judgement -- to kiss him again.

I saw the light was on in Dan's room when I got home. It shut off almost at the exact moment I noticed. I figured Dan was trying to "lay low." I understood why he would want to do that, but I really wished he would just cut the crap and race over here to be with me.

I almost jumped back in surprise when I came out of my daze and looked back out the window. Dan was racing over here.

I felt special. Dan took every single opportunity to rant about how much he hated exercise, but there he was! Running! For me!

I tried to remind my heart not to get it's hopes up -- after all, Dan could just be casually sprinting up my driveway to borrow a cup of sugar.

The doorbell chimed furiously, and I quickly thanked Jesus, or whoever, that both of my parents were out of the house, because if they heard that racket it would lead straight to a thirty-five minute lecture on noise control.

I glanced out the window and saw  a frantic Dan repeatedly slamming his hand onto our doorbell.

I opened the door to shut him up, but barely had the time to catch my breath before his mouth captured mine.

His hands -- which resided at my waist -- were shaking. I held him closer and tighter until they stopped.

I was starting to feel a bit dizzy, and my knees were already weak, but I held onto Dan. I held on until I couldn't possibly hold on any longer, and I pulled away to take a breath.

Dan's face was red, and I'm sure mine matched. Our breathing was heavy and the rise and fall of our chests were almost synchronized.

I laughed to break the growing tension. "So... um... Do you want to go inside and... uh, I don't know, talk? About this?" I tried to ask in a light-hearted voice, but my throat was dry and I was nervous as hell.

Dan nodded and blushed and I grabbed his hand and led him inside, closing the door behind us.

He followed me to the couch and sat down next to me. If we were any closer he would've been sitting on me.

"So..." I tried to start.

"So, that just happened," Dan finished for me.

I laughed again. I was starting to think that was just my nervous response. "That it did."

"And it... wasn't bad?" Dan asked carefully. He refused to look at me, and instead had his head ducked and was staring at his lap.

"No. Not for me, at least," I told him.

He sighed and I thought I might've heard him whisper "good" under his breath, but I couldn't be sure.

"Dan," I said, "do you want us to be something... I don't know... something more?"

I waited.

He didn't answer.

I couldn't believe that I was actually going to say this. I couldn't believe this was an actual situation I was in.

I took a deep breath.

"Because...." I coughed. "Because I, uh, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I... um... that I... um... uh...."

I gave up.

"Dan, would you like to be my boyfriend? Because I... I wouldn't hate that."

"You're asking me out?" Dan raised his head. His brown eyes were swimming with tears. It was clear he was terrified.

"Yes, I am asking you out. So, what do you say?"

I waited for what seemed like hours for a response.

Eventually, Dan spoke up. His voice was quiet, weak, and scared. He said, "Are you sure you're not just doing this because you feel bad for me?"

Almost instinctively, I took his hand in mine, and we were both staring at our intertwined fingers when I told him, "I'm not. I swear."

I didn't have to see Dan's face to know that he didn't believe me.

"Dan," I spoke again, "You just got me -- an anti-social, arrogant, introvert -- to not only kiss you (twice) but also to willingly ask you out. Dan, maybe you don't fully understand how special you are, but you've gotten me, of all people, to open up and... Well... You got me to fall in love! And anybody who's able to accomplish that, is nothing short of a miracle worker."

Dan looked up at me with his puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. I felt myself lean in and softly place a peck of a kiss on his chapped lips.

I felt his warm breath against my skin as he heaved a sigh he must've been holding in for ages.

When I pulled away, his eyes were squeezed shut and his hand was clutching mine like a vice.

I waited a moment or two before asking if he was okay. At first, I thought he'd just snap out of whatever weird trance he was in, but when he didn't, I got concerned.

"I'm fine," he told me, "I just..."

"Just what?" I asked. "Because -- no offense, Dan -- you don't really look fine right now."

"I'm just waiting to wake up."

Dan said it in such a small voice I barely heard it. But I did hear it, and it hit me like a bullet.

I knew how out of my comfort-zone this was for me, but I realized then that Dan was dealing with demons much greater than mine and that this was an even bigger, even more terrifying, step for him.

I found my arm being draped around his shoulders and his head falling onto my chest.

"It's not a dream, Dan," I whispered. "If it was, it'd be a pretty disappointing dream. I mean, you could literally dream about anything, but your brain chose to dream about your stuck up neighbor."

Dan sniffed, "I like my stuck up neighbor."

I chuckled, now gently playing with little strands of Dan's velvety hair, "Really?"

I saw Dan's lips bend into a little smile.

"Yeah. He's an ass, but he's not that bad."

(A/N) HEY GUYS! I hope you liked this chapter! Get ready for cuteness in the coming chapters! (but it'll probably be rlly awkward cuteness bc I'm not the best at fluff)
I WENT TO TATINOF ON THE 15TH!!!! AND IT WAS AMAZING AAAAAHHHH!!! I SOOO WISH I COULD GO BACK!!!
ALSO! MY HAIR IS RED NOW! WHOOO!
AND IM GOING TO COME OUT TO MY DAD!!!
AND THERE ARE CURRENTLY 2 ANNOYING FLIES IN MY ROOM!!! I THINK THEYRE MATING!!!!!
EXCITING STUFF PEOPLE!!!!!

Bye for now, kids, and always remember that pants are for quitters.

-Mel⁺₊◟(❛⌔❛)◞₊✧⁺