The John Green Book Swap| hiatus

two| the s w a p(i)

alaska couldn't find it anywhere. "checked your drawers, bathroom and also the dining room. not there." felicity told as she walked towards her panicked friend. alaska was still hyperventilating. she couldn't stop. "deep breaths hon, breathe in through your nose and release through your mouth..." felicity tried to soothe her by rubbing circles on her shoulder as she held her consternated best friend.

alaska pushed her hands away,"how can i calm down after I lost my lifeline. that book had my house key, my locker combination, and photographs. the kind of photos I don't want to share with the world. my life is worse than the book's alaska felicity, and I don't want people to know that. i'm broke, i'm barely surviving and with those damn polaroids any second grader would be able to connect the dots."

"al sweetie, do you remember where you kept it last?" felicity asked concernedly while kneeling down beside alaska. "should i call felix, he has quite a detective-y instinct? maybe he would be able to help." alsaka silently nodded.

felicity was quick to grab her phone and dial her twin brother's number, but the fact that felix was coming to her rescue didn't do a thing that would calm alaska's nerves. till her friend was talking to her twin alaska pressed her brain to remember where she kept it but she couldn't remember a single incident related to it. she rummaged harder through her brain making her eyebrows furrowed, eyelids tightly shut and lips pursed. damnit! stupid me!

promptly she remembered something so she called for felicity,"felicity, i finally remember. i — i forgot it in library. tell felix to collect it from there, then directly come here."

"sure." her friend hollered back.

felix reached there in no time huffing and puffing,"sorry, i'm late. i was out, and i brought your book." he kept the everyday paperback edition of looking for alaska on alaska's extended hand while his twin rolled her eyes at his antics. alaska almost immediately frowned because of that felix asked her,"what's wrong?"

               "it's not mine." she frowned some more as she skimmed through the pages trying to reciprocate what the highlighted sentences meant.

               "what?" felix exclaimed,"what do you mean it is not yours? this was the only looking for alaska there on the table next the teen fiction aisle right? are you sure?"

               "positive because mine was a worn out hardcover and this is an almost new paperback." alaska felt panic washing through her once more as she let felix's words in. "it was the only one." shit!

               she gave the book a once over and all of a sudden recognized it as miles' book. what was his book doing there? did he accidentally took mine? what if he saw the pictures? fücking hell. alaska started hyperventilating. a lot of what ifs danced inside her brain making her abruptly break down.

               she, the girl who had last cried in fifth grade because amanda the bitch of that time spilled slime onto her head. she didn't even cry on her mother's funeral, though her mother was the only person who loved her. she kept her emotions locked up. her face might be emotionless yet her heart soared with feeling, feeling she wanted to express so bad yet she didn't want her guard down. but here she was crying over a book.

               people would have laughed at her but they didn't know. they didn't know how hard alaska's life was neither did miles. and those pictures said said everything she wanted to hide, what she wanted to bottle up.

               the maxton twins tried to alleviate her but they didn't succeed. and all alaska could ponder about was what would miles think of her if he understood. a penurious, crestfallen girl?

               january nibbled slightly at the hollow of his ear. miles let out a contented sigh. his eyelids fluttered open and his eyes squinted in the barely lit room stopped on the book on his bedside table. his fingers itched to open it but right now he couldn't.

               abruptly january stopped and climbed off miles to turn on the light. miles frowned and asked her,"why'd ya stop?"

                "just because." she replied coldly. miles sighed.

                "why?" he pressed. january scowled but gave in and replied,"you were distracted and i — it..." she trailed off sighing heavily,"i better get going, i have to grade some papers." with that she left.

miles groaned and face palmed. when it came to relationships, he was not the brightest star in the universe. once he recovered he knew he could finally read the book so he took the book carefully in his hands, caressed it clean and finally opened it.

when he opened it, he didn't except it to have a square cut in in with a house key and a delicate necklace, and numerous polaroids and some small receipts. this book was like a bag, which carried the person's necessities. miles knew he shouldn't pry but curiosity didn't just killed the cat but it killed the entire species.

whilst leafing through the pages and looking at some so very dark and sad picture miles' mind wandered towards the question, what would have happened to my book? when all of sudden realization washed over him like a bucket of cold, iced water.

his own book was filled with highlighted quotes, and lots of pictures of january. which would lead to the point where their relationship wouldn't be a secret anymore. their relationship was a secret because january was his teacher when he was in high school. they fell in love and it was their oath to keep it a secret.

miles was curious to know what these polaroids meant to alaska and also he wanted his book back. he wondered whether alaska was thinking the same thing.

what he didn't know was alaska was planning to get her book back despite all the consequences.