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I hate how I have anxiety and social anxiety so bad. Like I constantly think people hate me. I feel like a lot of people with this problem have something that stems from it and for me, I think it's because of school cause people were so mean to me, especially in middle school. It was awful and what they called me and I feel like that messed me up because now I'm too scared to take chances like jobs or even talking to people because I'm scared to be around people because I'm so nervous that they're gonna be mean and hate me. It's always in the back of my mind like be invisible, don't speak and don't draw attention to yourself. I see people that own the room and don't give a shit what people think. I wish so bad that, that could be me. Everybody else can take all these chances and do stuff and I can't. I physically feel like I can't. I feel like I'm always going to be stuck. It's a heavy burden to have such bad anxiety, being scared and sad all the time over stupid things. Im just honestly tired. I hate this feeling and I just wish I could push it aside and be normal.