Why Can't I Have You?

Prologue

Why Can't I Have You?

Perfect Mistake Spin-Off

Prologue:

Some of the best moments in our life are the ones we can't share or can't tell about. The moments that we are not allowed having in the first place.

Heart bit her inner cheek as she tried hard to not to look at the person sitting across hers, the person she can't tell everyone about, the person she can't really have.

This day was supposed to be a special one. Ngayon sana ang araw na balak na niyang sagutin ang lalaki matapos ang pitong buwan nitong panliligaw sa kaniya.

But what was supposed to be the best day for the both of them turned out to be the worst day for Heart.

"You don't like it?" nag-aalalang tanong sa kaniya ng lalaki.

Heart finally looked up at him and in that instant her heart felt like it was painfully twisting. Her mouth is starting to run dry as her eyes started to water.

Paano niya ito gagawin? How can she break his heart ngayong pinaghandaan ng lalaki ang araw na ito? He prepared a very romantic dinner for them in his place. It was so romantic that she can't bear it at all. Kasi alam niyang hindi dapat. Just the thought of it alone should be forbidden.

Alam niya after this she will surely look like an asshole in his eyes but she will do what she have to do to spare them both from further pain. Habang maaga pa, habang kaya pa niya.

"You are making me nervous," biglang wika ng lalaki sa harapan niya. Punong-puno na ng pag-aalala ang mga mata nito. Hindi na ito nakangiti,'di kagaya kanina noong dumating siya. "Vie.." he called her.

Vie.

Heart smiled bitterly when she heard that. Ito kasi ang endearment ng lalaki para sa kaniya. It was a French word that means life. How ironic it is that their lives are really tangled after all?

"Is there something wrong?" tanong nito.

Everything is wrong.

"I-i..." she stuttered because she can't seem to get the words out of her mouth. Kinuha niya ang baso ng wine na nakapatong sa harapan niya and gulped everything in one go. As if the wine can erase everything that is wrong about them. As if the wine can numb the pain on her insides.

"I can't see you anymore," she finally said.

Upon seeing his face she immediately wanted to take back what she said. Parang bigla siyang nag-sisi. But she said it already, at alam niyang mas mag-sisisi siya pag binawi niya ito.

"I'm sorry." She uttered while fighting back her tears. She knows sorry doesn't cut it but that was all she can say.

"I don't understand," nanginginig ang boses nito noong magsalita. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

"No. You did nothing wrong," mabilis niyang sagot. She doesn't want him to think that it was him. "It was me. This is all me, I'm sorry."

Tumayo ito mula sa kinauupuan at pumunta sa gilid niya. Hinawakan nito ang parehas niyang kamay kaya napilitan siyang humarap dito.

"Vie...what is it? Tell me what's bothering you and I'll do everything to make it all right." He pleaded.

Lalong kumirot ang puso ni Heart sa tinuran ng lalaki. If only it was that easy to make everything all right. But things can't be undone.

She shook her head as tears started to roll down her cheeks. Hindi na niya napigilan ang sarili niya. Kanina bago siya pumunta dito, iniyak na niya ang lahat ng pwede niyang iiyak para pag hinarap niya ang lalaki ay maayos na siya.

Pero hindi pa rin pala.

Mas lalo lang kumikirot ang puso niya ngayong nasa harap niya ito. Ngayong nagmamakaawa ito. All she wanted to do now is cry in his arms and hug him tight. But she can't.

She needed to leave.

Heart mustered all that was left of her at binawi ang kamay niya mula sa lalaki. Nakita niya kung paano ito nagulat at nanlumo dahil sa ginawa niya. She wiped her tears harshly and stood up. "I'm leaving."

Agad na tumayo ang lalaki upon hearing at mahigpit siyang niyakap. "No. Please...don't go." His voice broke. He was crying.

Heart choked on her tears. Pinilit niyang maging matigas pa sa pader habang yakap siya nito. She fought the urge to hug him back dahil alam niyang pag ginawa niya iyon mas mahihirapan sila pareho.

Slowly, she pushed him away to get out of his tight hug. When she did that, he didn't fight back. He just let her.

This is the only way she could do it. To get away as fast as she could, so she could avoid more damages.

"I'm sorry," she softly said before storming out of his place.

She waited until she was in the elevator to finally let it all out. Mabuti na lang at wala siyang ibang kasabay sa elevator dahil nakakahiya ang lakas ng hagulgol niya.

She can never forget his face. The pain in his eyes. His pleading voice. His tears.

She can never forget this day.

August 12, 2012.

The day she left Enzo Villegas.

The same day she found out why she can't have him.

- 

Nica's note: 

I know you are probably pissed because I changed the title again for the nth time but I promise you that this will be the last. Hehe. Anyway, this story is long overdue. Imagine this idea started on 2013 and yet I can't get past 20 short chapters. Haha. I've always been pressured to write this story but this year I decided to finally finish all of my unwritten stories so they would stop bugging me. Baka kailangan ko lang talaga ito matapos so I can finally free Heart and Enzo. Huhu. Thank you for all the years that you put up with me dahil sa bagal ng phasing ko magsulat. The plot for this has already been worked out so rest assured that last revision na talaga ito. 

To everybody who has been here since day 1. Thank you so much. From Secret Love to They Won't Stay to Stay, and finally (nakuntento na rin ako sa title sa wakas haha!) Why Can't I Have You?