What If

Confused As Hell

After what he could only describe as the longest and hottest shower ever, Brian was finally able to make heads and tails of his limited wardrobe and was ready in record time for the evening out.

Dressed in some jeans and a charcoal gray t shirt and ancient leather jacket, he ran his fingers through his dark messy hair as he made his way down the stairs. Kate's double take made it apparent that his she hadn't seen him dressed up in a while. After the messy and awkward process of leaving Jan in charge of the two kids, they found themselves at the doorway of a large house that Brian didn't recognize but from what he could gather was Matt and Val's place.

Kate rang the doorbell and surprisingly, Michelle Dibenedetto answered the door shortly after.

"Katie! Brian!" Michelle said as her face broke out into a large smile, mostly for his benefit. She turned to the guests. "Everyone, Brian and Katie are here!"

Brian looked past the twin to the open living room filled with few familiar faces and he felt a little bit of relief.

"Come on in," Michelle waved them in and Kate walked through the door, but when Brian looked unsure Michelle held her hand out to him. He didn't think it would be a good idea to take the hand of his ex girlfriend while his wife, no matter how fake it was, was in the same room. But he had the good graces to smile at her and follow her lead.

"It's so good to see you, Bri," she said quickly "It's been so long."

"Really?" he asked curiously "How long?"

She threw her head back and laughed flirtatiously "Oh you know! You and Kate hardly ever come out to Long Beach when I invite you. I have to come here to Val and Matt's to see you."

Brian nodded but kept his eyes on his wife. She'd made his pulse jump a bit when  he took in her dark riding boots and skinny jeans with a soft navy sweater that made her eyes seem darker. He focused on how good her bottom looked in her jeans. It was so distracting that Michelle took him by the arm to reign his attention back on her.

"Do you like this dress?" she asked him hopefully.

"It's great," he replied automatically.

She lowered her eyes and bat her eyelashes. "I remember you said you liked the color at River's birthday party."

"Brian!" Matt's deep baritone called and Brian was happy to find him walking straight toward him.  "It's about damn time you got here. Figured you and Katie had stopped for a quickie on the side of the road. Hey, let me get you a beer."

Matt managed to pry Brian's arm away from his sister in law and steered him toward the den.

Brian was grateful and he felt relaxed for the first time that day.. "Damn Michelle is fucking relentless. She still has hope after all these years," he blurted.

Matt slapped him on his back. "You just have an forgettable dick."

Brian gave smirk. "Some things just can't be erased from memory."

"I'll say," Matt laughed "I'll never be able to under that dumb ass boy band hairdo you've got going on. How much fucking gel is in that shit anyway?"

Brian touched his hair "What's wrong with it? It's better than your almost bald shaved head."

Matt's hazel eyes narrowed "Aww man, not cool. You promised you wouldn't knock me about my hair anymore."

"It's either that or I knock the extra twenty pounds you've got going," Brian cracked again.

"You know...I almost felt sorry for you this morning when Val said you were having a midlife crisis, but now I think you're just a dickhead," Matt pouted before taking a sip of his beer. "C'mon...let's go see Johnny outside and make fun of him instead."

Brian followed Matt's lead. "Where is Zacky?"

Matt chuckled. "He's out picking his date up."

"Date?" Brian asked. "What about Meaghan?"

"Who the fuck is Meaghan?" Matt asked at they walked outside.

Brian opened his mout to explain that Meaghan was Zacky's wife but maybe in this weird ass dream he was having, she wasn't.

How the hell was he ever going to get this straight?

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Kate sipped her Corona and watched Brian and Matt talking across the room as they made their way out to the patio. She was thankful that Matt had rescued her husband from Michelle's clutches. She hadn't wanted to seem like the jealous wife by going to grab him away but she had to admit seeing Michelle taking Brian by the arm and him not minding made her slightly irritated. Normally he made polite conversation with his ex-girlfriend and ran away. 

"Did Brian snap out of it?" Val asked as she organized h'oeuvres on plates. 

Kate shook her head. "Not really. He's still walking around confused as hell."

"Did he get smacked on the head last night?" Val asked. "Maybe you were too rough in bed last night?"

"Ha!" Kate said loudly before pulling a sip of her beer. "I wish. I have no idea what happened in the last twelve hours but he woke up this morning like he didn't have any idea where he was or even who I was?"

Val paused to think. "Mid life crisis?" she asked.

"You think?"

"It possible...I mean Matt still gets all weird when he thinks about the band," Val replied.

"Really?" Kate asked. She'd never given much thought to the band anymore. She had thought that when she opened her apartment door to find Brian back from Warped Tour, tossing his stuff down and saying he wanted to do whatever he needed to do for them to be together...well she'd thought that was the end of the chapter. But now...maybe he resented her for it...maybe he had all these years and it was just catching up to him.

She watched as Michelle joined him and the rest of the guys in their conversation. Should she walk over and save him? Or give him space?

He looked less tense than he had all day...still a little bewildered, but definitely less tense. She guessed she'd just have to trust him.

  =============== 

Brian could feel Kate's stare focused on him. He knew she was gauging his behavior so he just tried to fit into the situation at hand. It was hard. This wasn't the life he was used to for himself and his friends. They had settled for so much less than what they really were but they all seemed perfectly content. He could never be happy here. And in that respect, if that was the case, what the fuck was the point of this God damned exercise?

He'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't paid attention to the commotion at the door.

"Party time can now commence....Jimmy is finally here!"

Jimmy...he turned quickly to find the taller man standing at the living rooms entrance. He felt his heart slam in his chest. "Oh my God...." he practically sobbed as he made 5 great strides to wrap his arms around his best friend. "Oh my God...Jimmy, it's you."

Jimmy put his arms around him returning the embrace. "Hey...Bri...yeah its me. You just saw me yesterday."

Brian held on for dear life and fought back tears. "Seems like a fucking life time."

Jimmy patted his back soothingly. "It's cool, man. I'm here now. Whatever it is...I'm here now."