Rush of Waters: Crimson

chapter 17: Raegan

He walked quickly through the bright open halls of the high temple at Riverbend, weaving in and out of the groups of priests, and bounds, and parishioners who had come to pay tribute. Raegan had taken the stairs a bit too fast and he could feel the dampness of perspiration collecting amongst the whiskers of his unshaven face. He ran a hand over his jaw and chin to wipe what little there was away. He made note to shave later on that evening.

Raegan slowed as he came to the large sanctuary and caught his breath. He did not wish to appear in a hurry. Many of the elders of the noble houses had gathered here to pray and give homage to the Eight before the coronation of the Prince Ma'Dox DuCosta. It had not been necessary that he attend but he felt the need, especially since Rorrey would not be convinced, something about "all those damn stairs." Raegan did not push the issue with Rorrey. He knew his bound brother was not doing well these days. The death of the King coupled with the continued absence of Ryder had left Rorrey despondent and distracted.

Raegan entered the great room and gave silent nods to all those who turned to acknowledge him, amongst them, Master O'Siris Ra'Munuz. The man always made Raegan feel uncomfortable, inadequate, like a child. Raegan did not like the sensation as he scarcely had reason to suffer it among any other company. The man strode casually over to Raegan and laid a hand upon his shoulder. He leaned in to whisper something in Raegan's ear but was interrupted by the High Priestess who called to order the formal ceremony. Raegan was relieved and sighed to himself, trying hard not to give notice of his awkwardness. The Master Ra'Munuz turned back to the front of the room and gave up his charge with Raegan, turning all attention to the rites and customs being displayed for accolade. Raegan turned too, going through the motions directed by the High Priestess and her stewards. He knew the rituals were symbolic and sanctified. Part of him wished he could feel something, purpose maybe, but he did not. He performed the tasks, said the words, gave the actions, but he felt nothing. He wondered if he was truly there or if he had become merely a walking, talking bag of skin and muscle over bone, empty inside. He took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts from his mind, determined to get through the observance without incident. He was thankful that others in attendance did not pay him any mind or notice his apathy for the service.

As the ceremony came to its end, Raegan inched towards the door. He did not wish to linger, nor did he wish to finish the uncomfortable conversation Master O'Siris no doubt wanted to pursue. He quietly exited, no one even taking notice of his departure. He gently closed the doors behind him and walked out into the open hallway. Before he managed to get even a few yards, he heard a familiar voice call out. He turned, annoyed at the delay, yet another chore to add to his schedule. RoAnn briskly walked up to where he stood. Her smile turned to confusion at Raegan's expression. He allowed his face to soften and the discomfort to wash away from his features. He smiled and greeted her.

"Hello, my friend." He nodded towards the sanctuary doors, "The ceremony to sanctify the Prince's coronation is about over and I confess I was attempting to escape the entourage of questions to which I have no answer." He then lowered his voice in an effort to impersonate the elders, "Who is to watch over his rule? Shall he marry? What of the rumors from the Shift? Still no word from Ryder?" Raegan sighed and regained his composure, embarrassed he let his anger seep through his usually calm appearance. "I declare I have had my fill of it," he sighed. Raegan looked to RoAnn who smirked at him. She was both amused at his lack of tact, and empathetic towards, what she could only imagine, was a huge amount of stress.

"Perhaps I can help," she mused as she took hold of his arm and led him away down the hall, in the opposite direction of the exit. He went along willingly, her presence a nice change from the stressful company he had been accustomed to as of late. She stroked his arm as they walked and his anxiety genuinely seemed to abate and his confidence return.

She stopped outside of her office and opened the door to invite him in. He nodded as he passed her and entered the room. He sat down, heavy, at one of the tables and flipped through some of the books piled there. Suddenly the recognition that she had brought him here with a purpose grasped him and he sat back, impatiently, to await her questions. RoAnn noticed his change in demeanor and laughed at his keen observation skills.

"It's not an interrogation! I know you've been under an enormous amount of strain with the death of King Assan and the coronation of Prince Ma'Dox, it's not about that," she insisted. She sat down next to him at the table and put her hand on Raegan's knee to reassure him. Raegan looked to her hand and then back up at her. He was not convinced. She ignored his cold manner and continued.

"Rorrey came to see me. Did he tell you?" she asked. Raegan's brow furrowed and his expression changed from impatience to bewilderment.

"He did not. What could possibly have brought him out here? And up all those stairs?" Raegan couldn't help but feel a tad amused at this last thought. RoAnn smiled at the thought of it as well.

"I'm worried about him. He came to ask me about the possibility," she paused, unsure of how to say it, "He suspected that the King's death was not an accident. He is quite distraught over Ryder's nonappearance. He fears..." She trailed off at this, unable to voice the idea that Rorrey actually feared specifically about Ryder's possible participation. It made no matter though, Raegan deduced her meaning without her saying it.

"He's wrong," Raegan countered without even a hint of doubt. "You mustn't think Ryder capable of such atrocities?" His expression hardened and RoAnn, having recognized her transgression, came in close to look Raegan directly in the eyes.

"I only sought to make you aware...for Rorreys sake. He isn't well." She sat back and brought her gaze down to her hands resting in her lap. "He has always been nervous...anxious...self-depreciating, but I fear now for his well-being, for his sanity." Raegan let his features relax. He knew he had let Rorrey slip to the wayside during the past weeks. Raegan had always been the one in charge of the others, always a leader. He had allowed Rorrey to go wandering and this was the price he had paid for his neglect. He knew what RoAnn said was true and he nodded his reluctant acceptance to her concerns.

"I will look in on him. He should have come to me first. I admit I have not done my part to ease his mind. I wish Ryder were here to put these suspicions to rest himself. I fear for Ryder's safety, now." His gaze went distant at his last comment, "I've avoided Rorrey for that reason, I suppose." Raegan spoke just as much to himself now as to RoAnn. She sat silently as he pondered the situation in all its ugliness. "I guess, I'm not exactly sure of how to comfort him." He rubbed his eyes and leaned his head back onto the chair. RoAnn wanted to console him, to soothe his pain, but struggled to know how. She took his hand in hers and leaned over to kiss his forehead. Raegan did not retreat but allowed the small act of solace. They sat in silence for a while longer, broken only by an occasional remark about the weather or the Prince's planned festivities. After a time, Raegan got up and said his goodbyes, before shuffling, defeated, out the door.

* * *

The sun was setting as Raegan descended the stairs from the High Temple. His mind was swirling and he felt unfocused and irritable. He would talk to Rorrey tomorrow but now he wanted only to escape the pressure of his circumstances; the king, Ryder, Prince Ma'Dox, Master O'Siris, Rorrey...all of it. He wondered how he ended up here.

He rode through the gates of The Waters and gazed up to the tall, white, castle spires. He never wanted this. A steward met him outside the stables and took his horse. Raegan turned towards the vast egress of the keep, but then veered away towards the gardens. He walked in, amongst the flowers and ferns, the buzzing bees and beetles. He stopped on the colossal stone patio in the heart of the garden. The stones were varying colors and textures and were arranged to make a beautiful abstract of the city of Riverbend. He looked down at the picture. He felt nothing. He remembered the many evenings he and his brothers bound had spent here, in swordplay and archery, in study and games. For a moment, he could feel tears welling up from inside, but he pushed them away. He pushed them away and walked across the clearing and into the great white keep.

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