The Sense of Me

Chapter 2

You hate this time of year.
Dropping some worms into your crab's tank, you glare at the festive lights in your neighbor's garden from inside the comfort of your warm living room. That fucking family pisses you off so much, they go overboard with everything. Just last Halloween they were making kids bolt away, screaming their hearts out. You will admit that it was a bit funny but those kids are probably never coming back to your street.
You collapse on your couch, screaming into a pillow. You have nothing to do. It's a Saturday and you have nothing to do. Fan-fucking-tastic. Dragging your phone out of your pocket, you try to find something to do on that. Nothing. Fuck. You get up and stretch a bit, it's like you're old and stiff but you're only twenty-fucking-six. Fuck this shit. You trudge upstairs and get some actual clothes on rather than a tank top and shorts. After nearly falling downstairs, you get your coat on and head out. The snow is fucking freezing but whatever, you wander down the street, ignoring the 'morning' from strangers or neighbors. You head to town.
It's surprisingly quiet in town, not many shoppers. Odd, but you brush it off and thank the Lord that you can get some peaceful shopping done, maybe even a peaceful lunch. You saunter around a bit, casually buying some food and gifts for yourself. It's nothing much, after a few hours you still only have one bag with all your shit in it. You head down the street and go to a small café, a short boy serves you. He's oddly cute.
Wait.
No.
Bad.
You don't like men.
He gives you a cappuccino, you thank him quietly and pay. He walks off. You take a book you got out of your bag and read, sipping your beverage all the while. Until.
Fuck.
It's that guy from the bar yesterday. He's alone, like you are. But he's on a fucking laptop and sipping a frothy drink, just like last night. You can hear his heavy breathing.
Is he stalking you? No. Who would? You're just a tired, short man who's angry at the world.
You quickly finish your drink and get up, shoving your book back into your bag. He must have either heard you or is supernatural, because he looks up at you from across the café. You just bolt.
Fuck this.
Fuck that.
No.
You go home.
"Hey, Karkat!" Fucking neighbors trying to talk to you.
You get some snow in your hands, "How have you been since retiring?" Crush it into a ball, "I haven't seen you much since then-" and lob it at your neighbor.
He brushes it off his coat, but by the time he's looked up you're already inside. You pass your crab, gently petting it's shell as you head to your kitchen. You hate your neighbors. They know you don't like talking to them, but they still fucking try anyway. You open your fridge, scouring for something to eat. Nothing. You slam the door shut and trek to the couch; you collapse on the couch and turn the TV on.
You stay there for a while.

You jolt awake as you find yourself on the floor instead on the couch. Fucking. You fell off the godamn couch again. You get up and walk to the kitchen, scouring for something to eat. Then again you haven't bought any food in a while, might go do that later as you find jack fucking shit in the cupboards. Slamming the cupboard doors shut, you grumble to yourself and write a quick note and stick it on the fridge. This...fucking time of year. Your neighbors have families and you can't be bothered to go see your family. Honestly you can't remember the last time you spoke to your dad. Then again that's probably a good thing, if he saw you now he'd freak the fuck out. Hah. The image of your dad freaking out is hilarious. Mr Church Dude shouting at his only son for deciding to be a marine.
It's almost a relief you aren't around him anymore, he did everything in his power to make sure you were as perfect as can be. You remember bringing some guy from your physics class home one day just to piss him off. Did not work. But hey, the guy was cute anyway
Wait.

FUCK.

Karkat no, bad.

You trudge back to the living room and look at the TV. Somehow a bee documentary found it's way onto it. You turn it off and take out your phone. Might as well annoy some pissfuck for now.

cynicalBrachyura started pestering cartilaginousAquarium 

CB: Hey.
CA: There's a surprise, what's up Kar?
CB: The fuck do you mean 'There's a surprise'? I message you every day.
CA: Not true, you message me when you've got nothing to do.
CB: ...point made.
CB: Anyway, how's the holiday season treating you?
CA: If I see one more Christmas tree I'm suing the mall.
CB: Nothing Jewish yet?
CA: Kar it's like this every year, Christmas shit everywhere. What about fucking Hanukkah? It's a holiday too.
CB: I don't know what to tell you.
CA: Does anyone?
CB: You just shot yourself.
CA: I know I'm a terrible person.
CB: Digging your own grave.
CA: Maybe I'll put some explosives in my coffin so if someone tries to dig me up they'll get a face full of FUCK OFF.
CB: Calm the fuck down Eridan.
CA: Make me, marine boy.

CB: That's not even an insult, I fought in the marine and you sat back and shot geese.
CA: ...
CA: I'm going to bed.
CB: It's not even 6PM.
CA: Kar I'm getting old, I'm allowed to go to bed early.
CB: I'm older than you.
CA: KAR I SWEAR TO GOD.
CB: I specialize in pissing people off.
CA: No shit Sherlock.
CA: Just take care of yourself, okay? Last time I saw you, you were pretty beaten down.
CB: I know. I'll try.
CB: See you later, whenever later is.

cynicalBrachyura ceased pestering cartilaginousAquarium

You throw your phone onto the couch and lay on the floor. Might as well question life and the meaning of existence while you can, you need to go shopping soon anyway. You contemplate jacking off but look at your crab and decide not to.
So you get up and go to your room.