"My God, I'm so sorry," I said as I stumbled into the man-half of the car-wreck-couple. "I really need someone's help."
The man stared at me, confused and surprised. It's not often one is touched by a hot stranger (did I mention that I'm hot? It's true. Not bragging, just stating facts here!)
The woman-half of the couple looked upset. That's okay, I know how to play this.
The thing about the woman creature is that she was given a special gift from nature. A gift not unlike my own spoiler power. A woman, no matter how corporate-looking and important, has this need to take care of defenseless, pathetic creatures like myself.
So I looked at her as I spoke. Or, rather, I looked a little left of her. "I am recovering from double-retina surgery, and, and . . ."
I burst into tears.
The man looked annoyed. The woman tried to pull me out of the line toward the bathroom. I refuse to budge. "No, no, I'm sorry, I have my groceries over there. It's just . . . can you help me to my car? I am so scared I won't be able to find it."
"Well, sure, honey!" says the woman in a kindly southern-style accent.
"Great," I say, composing myself. "I'm so, so sorry. I feel like such an idiot."
One thing I learned early on is that you can break any sort of social rule as long as you:
A) Act vulnerable
B) Apologize profusely
People just let you get away with anything when they think you are really hurting.
"Can you help me find my grocery cart?" I say with an air of total helpless incompetence.
The man looks at my clothes. He doesn't believe a word I just said.
That's all part of the plan.
YOU ARE READING
Spoiler Alert
RomantizmLydia has the power to see how people will die. Some of these deaths are quite grisly. But, due to unsuccessful attempts at saving them, she has given up on warnings and instead has turned her attention to making money. After all, a little insurance...
