Never Be The Same (Brett Eldredge)

Chapter 11

"Brett," I exclaimed and opened the photo on my news feed, "Look at how cute this baby is! He's so adorable!"

"Huh," he asked as he turned from his phone to look at mine. "Oh yeah, he is pretty cute," Brett mumbled with no enthusiasm.

I sighed and turned away from him. Does he not like kids? Does he not want to have any? My biggest dream is to have a bouncing baby boy. I shook my head at my thoughts and quietly got up from the couch as Brett stayed there slouched with his blue eyes glued to his phone.

When I got to the kitchen I grabbed a keurig cup and made myself some coffee. After my coffee was done I took the cup and walked outside, sitting on the back patio. I watched my breath as I inhaled and exhaled.

I took a sip of my coffee and opened my eyes wider. This is reality. My whole world had come to a screeching halt the minute I laid eyes on Brett. Now, the world is moving again. Now my dreams are crashing down before my eyes. Five months of my life are gone.

I let out a shaky breath and took another sip of my hot coffee. A hot tear ran down my cheek as I stood up and walked back inside. When I got in there I placed my coffee on the counter and sat at the island. Wiping the year away I pulled out my phone and scrolled through Twitter to preoccupy me.

Footsteps sounded behind me and then the chair to my right was being pulled back. I looked over and saw Brett sitting there next to me.

"Hey, I was wondering do you want to go out to dinner tonight," He asked and looked over at me with hopeful blue eyes. Then he glanced to the coffee in my hands. "Are you okay? You never have coffee past noon."

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee, "Yes I'm fine. I just wanted coffee! You know how fucked up my stomach gets when I have hot chocolate! And no thank you. I don't feel like leaving the house today."

"Okay," Brett replied slowly then stood up from the island. "I don't know what happened, but tell me when Caroline comes back," Brett informed as he stood up and grabbed his keys from the counter.

I nodded at him and stared into my coffee as the door was slammed shut. More tears ran down my cheeks as I sat there. I jumped down from the stool and walked up stairs where Edgar was relaxing on Brett and I's bed. Edgar instantly looked at me and sensed that something was wrong.

He came up to me and began licking my tears away. I pulled away from him and he sat there looking at me with his sad eyes. "Can I talk to you bud," I asked him and sniffled.

He just perked his ears which gave me a yes. "Does your daddy really not want any kids? I mean... I just... With the way he is with you I always thought he would. I thought he would love to be a father. Him reacting to the picture of my cousin," I sighed and shook my head at myself, "It broke my heart. I've never wanted anything more than a baby boy. If... If I stay with him I may never get that."

More tears ran down my face and Edgar walked up to me so he was standing in my lap and his chin was on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and let my tears hit his soft brown fur. That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep with Edgar in my arms.

When I woke up I was tucked underneath the sheets and Edgar was resting on my lap asleep as well. I turned my head to look at the clock to see that it was already 12:54 in the morning. I didn't know how I got under the warm covers. I sighed and looked to my right to see Brett wasn't in bed.

The memories of the baby situation hit me and I sighed, slowly moving my legs from underneath Edgar. Once I made it out without waking him up I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. When I looked into the mirror my eyes went wide with shock. My hair was a mess and my cheeks were stained with tears. I shook my head at myself and walked out of the bathroom, sure to turn off the light and slide back into bed. I sat there staring up at the ceiling in the dark room.

The reality of what I might have to do was bothering me quite a bit. I sighed as Edgar stirred beside me. I sat up and looked at his silhouette.

"Hey Bud," I whispered and instantly earned his attention. "Come here." Edgar walked over to me and walked in circles before he finally sat down on my folded legs. Edgar brought his snout up to my cheek. His nose was cold and wet, like usual.

"I love ya buddy," I whispered and kissed his furry head.

I sighed realizing that I wouldn't be able to sleep so I slid out of the bed again and slowly opened the bedroom door. Just as I took the first step out of the room I could hear Edgar's nails clapping. I turned around and whispered, "Stay in here bud!"

Edgar stopped and turned around to go back on the bed. I smiled at him even though he couldn't see me and mumbled, "Good boy."

I checked in the guest room, and the other. Brett wasn't in either. He had to be on the couch. When I got down stairs I could see him out like a light on the couch with his hands rested on his stomach. I walked all the way down and could see one of the lights was still on in the kitchen. I sighed and walked into the living room.

Brett turned in his sleep and let out a quick snore. I shook my head at myself and walked over to the second section of the couch, grabbing Brett's favorite Christmas blanket, the one his grandma made for him. Once I draped it over him I placed a quick kiss on his cheek and then walked into the kitchen. My mug had the remaining coffee dumped out it and the mug was now sitting next to the sink.

I'm stupid. I overreacted.

I turned around and shut the light off, then made my way upstairs to think about my mistakes.