Everyday I wake up and look at myself in the mirror and say, "You're gross, hideous, and no one will love you. Your mom tells you that you're a mistake when she's drunk."
I go to school everyday and I fake a smile to try to make myself feel more normal. No one ever notices how dull my eyes are. They don't understand how much pain I'm in. Everytime I see my girlfriend I think about all the things that she deserves and how I'll never be able to give her any of it.
When I get home I go take a nap trying to make the pain of everything feel a little bit better. Somedays I have to go outside and act like I'm okay in front of people I don't know and can't even pretend to care for. But I honestly think that I have one thing that I could call my escape. Acting. And usually I do it on accident. I can't control it most of the time and I when I can control it I don't want to. It allows me to be someone I've always wanted to be. Or take on a character that lets people know how they feel and doesn't give a monkeys butt.
So honestly I hate myself...
