The One: Gilmore Girls

The Letter

I had just finished telling my mom that I was pregnant when I heard a familiar voice calling my name.
Mom stood up preparing to walk away. “Talk to Finn hon, we'll talk later. No matter what happens everything is going to be alright”. I looked to Finn with questions running through my mind. Why was he here? What was going on? He smiled and handed me an envelope “just read it love”.
Ace,                                      
I know we already said our goodbyes. I know we had an agreement that we were supposed to abide by but I couldn't let you go without telling you the truth. Rory I need you to not just read but also understand the things I have to say. Finn is standing in for me. He knows everything I'm about to tell you so if you have questions just ask him. Finn loves you and looks at you as a sister and wanted to be there to help you any way he could. In the words of our boy “mate I would move heaven and earth to make her happy. She's my sister from another mister” obviously there was some scotch involved. I want you to know before I go any further that Odette and I are done. You needed to know before I explain the craziness that has been my life the last eight years.
First I wanted to say I'm sorry for walking away after your graduation. I have a lot of regrets in my life but none compare to that moment. I never should have proposed that way. That wasn't us or who we were as a couple. I actually had something completely different planned out but let myself be persuaded to make it a more social event. I panicked when you didn't answer right away. It was the panic that led me to the ultimatum. As soon as the words left my mouth I felt nauseous and instant regret. I wasn't good enough for you if I was allowing others to influence my decisions. I had also made myself a liar. I would have never walked away from you even if you had said no. I would've taken you any way I could have you but I knew I didn't deserve you so I walked away.
After that day I threw myself into my work. I was determined to make something of myself if only to prove to Mitchum that I didn't need him. The only people I talked to were the boys and Honor. You were on my mind constantly and I wanted to make myself into something that you and I would both be proud of. I walked around missing my heart and soul. Women didn't exist to me because they weren't you. My life had become work, quick holiday visits home, and my monthly outings with the boys. Then one day five years later it all changed.
I walked in to work one day only to be told that the company had been sold. We all had meetings scheduled with the incoming CEO to discuss our futures but no one knew who it was. When I walked in to my meeting Mitchum was sitting across the table. HPG had bought us out and the ideas they had were actually pretty exciting and innovative. I found myself agreeing to my father's demands and moving to London. This time I actually enjoyed the job and found that I'm quite good at it. I let my guard down too much and that's when Mitchum approached me about marriage.
Odette Moreau was my father's solution to my lack of female companionship. Her father Leo owned the largest publishing company in France and she was the sole heir. I knew what he wanted and  I refused, repeatedly refused but Mitchum kept at me trying to wear me down. One night he flew in claiming we had a business dinner to attend. When I arrived it was to see not only my father but Leo and Odette as well. Apparently she had been promised a shopping spree in NYC after a quick stopover in London. We were both furious and started to leave. Let's just say the threats that were thrown around were possibly the worst that either of us had heard so we had to reconsider.  They proposed that we marry and have a child. If we were unhappy then we could divorce after seven years. It was insane but we both knew they were serious. They left us alone for a short time to go and iron out additional details with our lawyers. We talked and I actually started to like her. She reminded me of a certain blue eyed spit fire I know. We were both honest and admitted that we would never love each other. She was in love with a man named Pierre that her family refused to approve of because apparently he’s new money. I told her about my blue eyed Ace that I’ve never been able to get over. Our fathers made it abundantly clear that there was no way around this for either of us. It was in those moments that she became a friend and co-conspirator. We were going to delay as long and possible. In the mean time we established rules for our “relationship”;
1.No sexual relationship of any kind.
2.No feelings other than friendship. You start to have feelings you back out.
3.No living together or wedding until absolutely necessary.
4.No questions about other relationships. See who you want, when you want no questions asked.
5.If unable to get out of engagement any conception of a child would be through insemination.
                It all sounds crazy but we didn't know what else to do. We demanded that she be able to stay in Paris to finish her schooling. There was to be no planning or engagement parties until she graduated. They surprised us both by agreeing and we have only had to see each other a few times a year. It was working really well until… well until you.
Running into you in Hamburg changed everything for me. You were in your lucky outfit looking as beautiful as ever. I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in half a decade. When I tried to talk about our lives I could see the panic and fear in your eyes. That's when you came up with our “What happens in Vegas” agreement. I had missed you so much and was willing to take whatever you were willing to give so I agreed. It was the best and worst two years of my life. The best because I had you back and my heart and soul were finally being repaired. The worst because with me being unable to explain about Odette it made you the other woman. I hated that more than anything. In all honesty you were never the other woman you were the only woman. No one else exists for me and no one ever will. Mitchum knows this and it's why after seeing us at lunch he panicked. That's when Mitchum and Leo decided it was time for Odette to move in since she had just graduated. We have stuck to our agreement and even though she may sleep in the same bed, she stays on her side and I stayed on mine. This all changed again after our good bye in New Hampshire.
I couldn't bare that we had said good bye over the phone and the boys love you almost as much as I do so we came up with our plan. That night was magical and the best night of my life. It exemplified everything about our relationship; adventure, fun and deep abiding love. I wanted to tell you when you asked if I was really going to marry Odette that no I wasn't. You can't marry one person when you're in love with someone else. I couldn't tell you though. Plans had to be made and Odette and I had to find a way out of our engagement. So I let you walk away.
The pain and regret hit immediately. The boys and I had to leave just so I wouldn't drive back to Stars Hollow and convince you to change your mind. I left knowing that as soon as I was free I would come back for you. Odette knew something was wrong as soon as I got home. She knows all about you not only from me but also from Honor and the boys. She was crushed for me and agreed that we couldn't let our fathers control our personal lives any more. She then told me that she had some news of her own. She's seven weeks pregnant with Pierre's baby. We finally found our way out. We ended our engagement that night and secretly flew her home. She and Pierre eloped then sent proof of their marriage and the DNA test of their unborn child to our fathers. It took a while for all of the legalities of the broken engagement to be worked out but once they were I had a chat with Mitchum. I let him know that he is done trying to control my personal life. I would marry who I wanted and when I wanted. To my utter astonishment he actually agreed.
So Lorelai Leigh Gilmore this whole book is to say I love you. I couldn't let you go on without knowing everything that has happened. You're it for me Ace. There never has been nor will there be anyone else for me. You're it, you're my one. I will take whatever you are willing to give. We can take this as slow or as fast as you want. If you chose to never get married that's fine too as long as I get to be by your side. So think about it. Take as much time as you need just know that I love you. I'll never walk out on you again. I'll never make promises that I can't keep or not show up when I say I will. I'm not Mitchum or Christopher Ace, I'll always have your back. I love you.
Always yours,
Master and Commander